Disclaimer: I own nothing of Without a Trace except my DVDs and an overactive imagination!
This is a short one-shot inspired by episode 2:18 Legacy so spoilers. There's also spoilers for 2:7 A Tree Falls. I took a bit of creative licence with regards to the timeline so pretend that episodes 3:21 Off The Tracks and 5:19 At Rest have already happened. There's no actual spoilers for At Rest just the fact that by this point we have learnt a bit more about Sam's past. Hope that's not too confusing :)
Ok this is the first Samantha/Danny friendship fic I have done so please R&R and enjoy!
Demons and Scars
Another case wrapped up, Sam thought as she pulled on her coat and headed out of the office. Danny was walking to the elevator a few feet ahead, his hands in his jacket pockets, his head down.
"Danny!" Sam called, but her co-worker didn't turn. She sped up and, reaching his side, Samantha nudged his arm playfully. "Hey..." Her friend started; obviously he had been lost in thought. Danny barely managed a smile.
"You're not still sulking about what I said are you? About the snow globe thing? Sorry but I just never really got the point of those things, or why they were selling them at a Bagdad airport." Danny looked puzzled. "But I appreciate the thought." Sam added, referring to the presents he and Jack had bought for the team a few days ago, on their way back from Tikrit.
"What are you talking about Sam?" He asked, still thoroughly confused.
"I thought you were ignoring me." Samantha explained.
"Sorry, I wasn't ignoring you. Just thinking about... stuff." She frowned; Danny could see the familiar crease of worry between her eyebrows. He flashed a smile. "How about I make up for it by walking you to your car?" Sam knew something was bothering him but he obviously didn't want to talk about it right now.
Danny offered her his arm and Samantha slipped her hands round his elbow as they walked. Making their way to the elevator, Danny's expression told her that he was thinking again. Sam glanced sideways at him, worried.
"Danny?" He met her concerned gaze. "You okay?" Sam's voice was quiet as they reached the elevator. Danny shrugged. "Wanna talk about it?" She could see he was unsure. "We can get some dinner – my treat?"
He considered her offer for a moment, then nodded.
"Sure, thanks." Danny's smile was a fraction more believable that time. "As long as it's not pizza. Every time Fitzy's buying, it's pizza."
"I think that's all Martin eats. Well that and burgers. I'm not sure he even knows what vegetables are." Danny laughed.
"Indian okay then? There's one just round the corner from my place, it's pretty good." Sam suggested.
"Sounds perfect."
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The drive to Samantha's apartment passed in silence.
Thoughts of his brother were running through Danny's head as the city blurred passed the passenger side window. He wasn't sure how he felt about having his brother back in his life again.
Since moving to New York Danny had done everything he could to distance himself from his past, including abandoning Danny Alvarez to become Danny Taylor. Suddenly the soon-to-be Mrs Raphael Alvarez and her kid were asking for his help, defending his useless big brother. Could he do it?
Rafi had barely been there for him after their parents' deaths; turning into a junkie and a criminal. Danny had fought to better himself, moving on from his difficult childhood and joining the FBI. He was a Special Agent now, he had something to show for his life; what did Rafi have to show for his?
But Raphael had a family now, a son, Nicky.
The face of Danny's nephew appeared in his mind's eye. Could Danny really turn his back on his brother, leaving the kid without a father? He knew what it was like growing up without someone around to rely on and look up to, the truth was Danny wouldn't wish that on anyone, least of all his own family.
Despite not being an Alvarez anymore, Danny knew he had to help his brother.
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Samantha had not disturbed Danny from his thoughts as she drove, knowing he would open up to her when he was ready.
She parked outside the building and the two agents got out. They made their way back down the street to the takeaway place. Twenty minutes later the food was laid out on the coffee table in Sam's living room.
The food was soon consumed in amongst talk of work and general chat between the two friends. With the TV on in the background, Danny cleared up while Samantha made coffee. Then they retired again to the couch, both feeling more relaxed.
Sam sipped the last of her coffee, the silence in the room not unpleasant; she waited for Danny to speak first, not wanting to push him into it. Her friend drained his mug and put it on the coffee table, sitting back against the cushions. She placed hers beside his.
Danny appeared to be gathering his thoughts before he turned to face her.
"You know I told you that my brother is in prison?" Sam nodded slowly, wondering what had happened today that had made Danny so subdued. "Well his lawyer came to see me today, and so did his fiancée and his kid."
Samantha shifted on the couch, giving Danny her full attention.
"They want me to testify for him at his hearing in a couple of weeks. Guess the word of an FBI Agent would really give him a boost out of prison." Danny told her. "They really want me to help him but... Sam I don't know if I can."
"He's your brother, surely that counts for something." She suggested carefully.
"But I stopped making excuses for him a long time ago!"
"What did the lawyer say about his progress?" Sam asked him. Danny looked down.
"She said he's doing really well."
"So maybe he doesn't need you to make excuses for him, maybe he just needs some support?" Sam could tell he was considering her words.
"Danny," He looked up again. "I more than anyone know that you can't completely outrun your past, maybe you need to face this, to help your brother." Danny nodded reluctantly.
"He's got a family now; the kid needs a father around."
"However much you try to move on from your past, you can never guarantee that it's not gonna catch up with you." Sam went on. "Maybe your brother getting in contact again could be a good thing, if he really is trying to change his life."
"Yeah, he is my brother, and I do want to help him it's just..." Danny trailed off.
"Painful, thinking about everything again." Sam finished for him. He nodded in agreement.
"He did a lot for me when we were kids." She could see Danny remembering. "After our folks died he was a mess; stealing cars and knocking over liquor stores to feed his heroin addiction."
"It must have been hard for you to see him like that."
"Yeah I guess that's why I cut him off; didn't want to be reminded of them all the time."
"Your parents?" Sam asked.
"Yeah." Danny fell silent.
"What was your brother like when you were younger?"
"He was my best friend." Danny told her, a brief smile gracing his face. "He looked out for me, helped me with my homework, took me to the beach, and taught me to play baseball."
"He sounds like a good guy."
"He was – before... Afterwards he was like a different person."
"What about your mom?" Sam didn't want to push him, but she thought that he needed to get some of this stuff off his chest.
"She was..." Danny looked away.
"You miss her." Sam stated quietly. He simply nodded. She moved closer, reaching for his hand.
"My dad was a bastard." Danny said bitterly after a moment. "He was drunk most of the time, he was always yelling at my mom. And sometimes he'd..." Sam squeezed his hand.
"Rafi would argue with him, and then my dad would hit him. Sometimes he hit me but not as much."
"Sounds like your brother was protecting you."
"I guess he did stand up for me a lot of the time. My dad gave me this." Danny slipped his hand out from between Sam's and tugged up his sleeve. Sam gasped. Across his wrist was a scar; a long slash, pale and rough-looking, it stood out against his darker skin.
"Oh my God," Sam breathed. "Danny..." She took his hand again, running her fingers tenderly over his wrist, over the scar.
"I was ten, my father came home, he'd been drinking. He was shouting at my brother. Rafi was shouting back, telling him to be quiet or he was gonna wake mom. I walked right into the middle of it. It was a beer bottle." Sam was silent as Danny talked; she was shocked and horrified that Danny's own father had done that to him.
Sam held onto Danny's hand, caressing his wrist and palm gently as they sat together on the couch. After a moment she pulled his hand up to her face and pressed her lips tenderly against the marred skin. Danny was trying not to cry; he didn't want Sam to see him like that.
Her gesture was enough, however, to make a single tear escape. He brushed it away quickly with his other hand. Danny slid his arm around Sam's shoulders, pulling her against him, his hand once more secure between hers.
They lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Eventually Samantha broke it.
"I've got one too... a scar." Her voice was quiet.
"Really?" Danny questioned. He felt her nod against his chest.
"The makeup covers it most of the time."
"Where?" He asked, glad to divert attention away from himself for a bit.
Sam sat up, turning to face him. She tilted her head to one side, so the right side of her face was exposed.
"Here." She indicated a small mark on her cheekbone, just beneath her eye. "Not as impressive as yours but..." Danny reached out and touched her cheek softly, his thumb brushing over the scar.
"What happened?"
"I was fifteen, I came home from school, my mom was still at work, my sister was out. My mom's boyfriend Greg was there, lying on the couch drinking my mom's beer and watching TV. He was supposed to be at work but I guess he didn't care if he got fired." Sam paused, taking a breath before she continued.
"I never liked him; he really gave me the creeps, he always looked at me in this way like... Anyway I tried to slip past him to go up to my room but he saw me. He got up and came over; I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I tried to move away from him but he grabbed my arm." She closed her eyes as if trying not to relive the experience. Danny held tightly onto her hand as Sam swallowed nervously.
"He pushed me against the wall and started touching me. I struggled, he got angry and he hit me with the back of his hand, hard. His ring was sharp and it cut me." Sam opened her eyes and looked at Danny. "I covered the bruise with makeup and... never told my mother."
"That's horrible Sam." He told her, pulling her against him once more. "Why didn't you tell your mom what he did?"
"Because I knew she wouldn't have believed me."
Danny didn't know what to say. He stroked her hair as she rested her head on his chest. Sam's fingers caressed his palm and wrist again. They fell into a comfortable silence, each wrapped up in their own painful memories.
"Come with me?" Danny asked a few minutes later. Almost immediately Sam answered, knowing he was talking about his brother's court hearing.
"Of course." He smiled.
Feeling Sam's warmth against him and her hands holding his made Danny realise that there were people who understood, who wanted to help.
Samantha was reassured by Danny's arm securely around her; his fingers sliding through her hair was soothing. Their closeness, she knew, was down to the experiences they shared everyday at work, but also because they had both been through a lot to get to where they were now. The scars Danny and Sam both carried were constant reminders of the lives they had tried to get away from, and the demons they had battled.
Danny felt better after opening up to Sam about his brother and his childhood. And the fact that she had shared some of her difficult past with him in turn had strengthened their friendship. There were still lots of things she didn't know about him, and he knew there was more about herself that she wasn't telling, but maybe they would get there in time. Besides, Danny thought as he felt his eyelids getting heavier, it would be easier to confront the demons together.
