Hey
guys. So yeah, I do not own any of the characters (even though I wish
I did own them…especially Emmett), as they all belong to the
amazing S.M.
This is my first ever fanfic so don't be to hard
on me please!
I Can't:
BPOV:My eyes refused to close as I lay in bed awaiting Edwards return.
"Common Bella" I told myself. "It's just one weekend, you've done this before"
It was true; I always found myself alone when Edward and his family went hunting. You would think I'd be happy to have some time to myself but it was completely the opposite.
Even though he promised he would never leave me again after the incident in Italy, I still felt that unnecessary fissure in my heart, slightly break every time we weren't together. Especially now since the wedding was only a week away.
I groaned as I thought about all the things Alice had planned out for my wedding, not to mention how much money she was spending on me. It was honestly ridiculous but if it made Edward happy, it would be worth it.
The more I began to think about the wedding the more I began to panic. Just not about the day itself but afterwards as well. Would I be able to be a good wife? How about when I was turned?- would I be able to control myself from being the monster Edward was sure all newborns are? Was I truly ready for this?
I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. There was no way I was getting cold feet now. I promised Edward I'd marry him and that I'd always be his. I wanted this-no I needed him in my life. All this time I'd told myself I couldn't life without Edward but now, why was the thought so comforting to me
My eyes opened wider as I realised that I really wasn't ready-not ready to become a vampire-not ready to walk down the isle-not ready to…..marry Edward. I was scared beyond my wits end.
I quickly jumped out of my bed and began to pace-a habit I'd picked up from Edward himself. I needed to think of what exactly I was going to do when Edward got back from hunting. For sure I couldn't just waltz up to him and say "Edward, I know I said I love you and that we are soul mates, but I just don't want to marry you right now". God knows what would happen then. This had to be done carefully so that I would not hurt either Edward or myself. But how exactly do you tell your other half that you don't want to be with them in the way that they want you? Then it hit me-I didn't have to verbally tell him at all.
Quietly, I ran to the guest room where Renee was sleeping and sat on the bed, and silently debated on whether or not to wake her up. My less noble side won as I shook my mum awake.
"Mom, we have to talk. I can't go through with the wedding. So I'm leaving."