To Fall

Ron/Hermione – Rated M

I own nothing related to Harry Potter, J.K.Rowling et al own the rights to everything.

I am completely hopeless. It's taken me nineteen years to realise something that is blindingly obvious to the rest of the world. You have to actually fall in love. You don't just meet someone and love them; you have to wait until all of a sudden there it is. To fall is a verb; therefore, you have to complete an action in order to achieve fallen status.

When I met Ron Weasley I didn't love him. I found him to be a bit of an idiot, and he looked at me like I was abnormal in some way. Come to think of it he still does. By the end of first year, I hadn't fallen in love with him, but we had become friends. It still surprises me that my best friends are male; I don't think a boy even looked at me until I was eleven. By the time I was fourteen he was no longer my new, male, friend he was just Ron, who burped and wore messy clothes but protected me and feared for me. I loved him already but I wasn't in love with him. It was only when I watched him fawn over Fleur that I had romantic feelings towards him. Although they weren't really romance they were just disgust, and a lot of jealousy. I wanted someone to look at me that way.

When Viktor kissed me I fully expected to fall in love with him. But as it turns out, perfection is a little dull. I wanted him to make me angry, to do something stupid, to make me have to fight for him. I wanted him to be more like Ron.

When you love someone the worst thing you can do is fall in love with them, because once that happens the balance of your relationship is effectively destroyed. I needed my friendship with Ron because it's what made the trio what it is. I knew that if I didn't have my boys looking after me I would die. That's not me being dramatic that's just the way it was, without each other we were weak, with each other we were invincible. The theory was tested the day Ron left while we were Horcrux hunting. When he left I cried with worry, over him, over Harry, I cried with anger, I cried with loss. But mostly I cried with disappointment; because I could hardly bear to let him out of my sight, but he left without looking back. If he felt for me one tenth of what I felt for him he would not have been able to leave that tent, fight or no fight.

When he returned I forgot about the hurt and the pain, I was so overwhelmed with anger towards him, for daring to put himself in danger. When I hit him, it was, in part to make him suffer, but it was also an excuse to touch him, as much of him as possible, to check he was all there, and all okay. When I washed up in the woods that night I cried harder than I ever had before, because I knew I'd gone and fallen in love with the one person I couldn't, shouldn't fall in love with.

I slipped into bed that night in my pyjamas, looking straight at the wall of the tent to avoid looking at Ron, pretending to be annoyed was a lot easier than showing any of the emotions I was feeling. When all I could hear was steady breathing I gave in to my curiosity and turned around. Ron was staring straight at me. I quickly turned back to face the wall.

"For Merlin's sake Hermione would you at least look at me? Or yell at me? I don't care just please, please stop pretending I don't exist because it's killing me." By this point I had started crying again, and the tears were falling so quickly I couldn't even speak. Ron moved around the tent to my bed, and knelt on the floor next to it. "Mione what's wrong? I'm back and I'm okay, I'm so sorry I went and you'll never know how much but it can be okay now right? I'll try and make it up to you."

"How?!" I sobbed, unable to manage more.

"I just will, I promise, please, it was so hard being without you, I hated it I just wanted you there all the time. I wanted to make sure you were okay, but, shit, I can't stand the thought that there might be some time when you're not there. I don't want to ever let you out of my sight for a minute for the rest of my life. Wondering if you were alive…"

"What?" I broke in.

"I was just going to say how awful it was wondering if you were…"

"No not that, the bit about letting me out of your sight. Did you mean that?"

"Of course I mean it, I love you so much I don't ever want to be without you." I was at this point just sitting there, eyes wide. He continued, "didn't you know I love you?"

I took a deep breath "I knew you loved me I just, I mean it sounded", I couldn't think of a way to phrase what I was asking so I said the first thing that came into my head in a rush "you made it sound like you love me the same way that I love you." Oops.

When he kissed me I was absolutely terrified, I was worried it would be a horrible kiss and we'd start thinking we'd made a mistake but it felt lovely, and all of a sudden I didn't really care about anything because it was Ron, and I knew he wouldn't hurt me because he's been protecting me since I was eleven years old and got locked in a bathroom with a troll.

"Ron?"

"Yes?" he responded, somewhat breathlessly.

"Can we go outside for a while? I think Harry might have heart failure if he wakes up to this." He didn't even bother to reply, just grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the tent.

We were kissing the way people do in films, but all I was aware of then was how he felt on me, and I could feel him pressing against me in a way that made me feel very powerful indeed. As we leaned back against a tree I pushed my hips forward experimentally and he responded with a sound that I couldn't really identify, as it was sort of a combination of a gasp and a moan. He was rubbing against my leg and I slid my back down the tree a little and tilted in an effort to get him to rub against somewhere I really needed it. To my displeasure he moved sideways again so he was pressing against the outside of my thigh but before I had time to protest he had slid his hand inside my pyjama bottoms and was rubbing his finger across the spot that he shouldn't have, in my opinion, been able to find so easily. I couldn't believe how close I was already but it had been a long time since I'd had the chance to do this. I felt warmth against my leg, seeping through my pyjama bottoms and the fact that I'd made him come was enough for me to fall myself.

I let myself rest against him for a while, my breath coming in wonderful rushing gasps.

"Ron," I said, once I had calmed enough to speak "I missed you" I felt, rather than saw, the smirk creep across his face at that comment, so I just had to speak again;

"It doesn't mean I forgive you", I said, smacking him across the back of the head. He laughed, and I smiled…we were still Ron and Hermione.