Title: Untold

Author: Saraste

Pairing: inumir

Rating: PG-13

Genre: mpreg, dark angst (fufufu...)

Warnings: mpreg, dark!angst

Wordcount: 935

A/N: Originally written in the space of two weeks in October-November 2008.

I can't tell him.

And I should. I glance at him, smiling and laughing, care free and happy. I can't do this to him. Will he mind? What will he say?

I have to tell him.

Have to have to have to. Yes. It is the only way. He's already noticing. I hide the sickness from him, the tiredness. And yet he's noticed. And he's worried. For me. And, I'd like to think, for what we've created together.

We couldn't have known, couldn't have known it would come to this. The most unexpected thing. I only ever believed the stories when it happened to me. Our baby. Growing inside me. Months now and yet he doesn't know. Need to tell. Need to. Can't keep it a secret for much longer.

I sit by him as we spend the evening around the fire. Their faces look at us and they smile. Who'd thought they'd have found happiness in each other? Fingers curled and giggles, smiles and happy faces. They're happy and we're happy. I'm gonna wreck it all, I know I will. He'll be disgusted with me. We never talked. He's free now so there isn't a need for an heir to carry on his vengeance.

How do I know he'll want a baby now?

He doesn't know I can have babies. That we could. My hand steals to my tummy out of it's own will and I smile. He smiles back at me. He doesn't know we can create babies together. I'm sure it will be cute and pretty, like you are, monk.

My Miroku.

I should tell and yet I choose not to, not yet. I will wait. I'm a coward, I know. I should tell and yet I won't. The chatter around me is voiceless, just noise without origin. Without meaning. Just your smile and hand on mine as it slips away from my stomach.

I want to tell you.

"What's the matter?" You ask. It's only your voice that I hear. Your face that I see. The others are part of the blur now. Some thing's not right, I know it isn't. You frown and my smile vanishes. Everything blurs, a mess, I can't see or hear.

Just your panicked call.

"Inuyasha!"

* * * *

I see you, smiling at me, holding my hand.

My Inuyasha.

There's something that's been troubling you, has been for weeks and weeks. And yet you won't tell me. Won't tell me where it is that you ache, you hurt, won't tell me the ache of your heart.

For I know it's about your heart, your soul. The way I sometimes catch you looking at me. Lost and scared. Then you see that I see and turn away. I kiss, I ask, I coax. But nothing makes you talk. Nothing. And I'm left clueless as to what ails you, hurts you, pains you.

And then you smile and it's all all right again.

We cuddle in the night and I can feel a shift in you. I become scared. What if you want to leave me? Do you think I don't love you any more? Is that it? That I don't want you any more? Because that's simply not true. Can't you not see and feel how I want you with every ounce of my being? How my very breath screams your name, my skin feeling your touch even when it's not there? You have branded me for life, my beautiful exquisite hanyou and I'm not running away.

I will hold onto you until there is no breath in me to spare. Until the very last moment when darkness takes me and lets me rest in a natural passing, as I hope even with the violence of this world, and I know you'll weep at my grave. Our very last goodbye carrying you through the life which no more has me in it.

Not until then will I let go of you. I will fight tooth and claw for you if I must, holding onto you with my very dying breath if I must.

I will not let you go, I will not!

You smile at me and I ask, preparing myself, my hand holding yours, the warmth of it comforting me. They are silent across the fire, knowing the seriousness of the moment. They know I am anxious, and have seen the change in you. So I start to cross the gap.

"What's the matter?" My voice is soft and I hold your gaze with mine. Your eyes look at me first and then they aren't focused any more. Your hand slips from me as you fall.

I panic.

"Inuyasha!"

I'm by your side, an eternity as you keel over, your body falling backwards, limp. This is not. What is happening? I can't...

The girls are by me. My hand on his forehead the other on his hand. His hand is limp and his brow hot. I cannot bear to think what ails you my love.

"Inuyasha?!" They are beside us now, looking for any obvious injury. There is none.

"What is wrong with him?!" Is that my voice, strained and begging, almost angry, accusing. Like it's their fault he's like this.

And how I fear that it's mine.

Deft and quick hands search, prod and brows frown. Sango's the expert here, I cannot rule her judgement out.

"What is wrong with him?" I ask again, squeezing his unresponsive hand. I do not like this at all. He's never like this. I send a prayer to Buddha to keep him safe. Keep him safe.

And then it comes, the inevitable crash.

"He's bleeding..."