Forward: I do not know any of Twilight other than the original ideas and characters. So please enjoy. FYI: there is some adult content, don't read if you don't like.
Indecision by Cikka
Bella twirled her mahogany hair in her fingers silently lost in thought. She thought of him. How she had been so foolish. She bit her lower lip and cursed at herself. The images flashed behind her eyes piecing themselves together into a movable memory. She saw his eyes pouring into hers, she saw his lips moist and tender, and she searched for the image of his smirk.
Why did she torture herself so? The images started moving and she wished they had not. She shut her eyes tight and willed the images away to no avail.
***
She remembered a hot summer's day the ones where everyone sits in front of a fan lazily lounging. On that day she had gone to see him. Her heart had pounded, her stomach had churned and she had not known why she had felt the way she did. She had not understood her feeling in particular. She remembered walking toward the house. She remembered the quietness of that day. Her heart slowly sank down deep within her bowls. She had not meant for things to turn out the way they did. She never thought herself capable of seduction.
She brings her fingers to her lips in a slow caress. A smirk ensues.
She remembered meeting him in the front hall of that empty house. She remembered the hug he took care to give her. She remembered staying locked in position while time slowed just for them. She then remembered his eyes and their fierce frozen perfection. She remembered his genuine full toothed smile. She also remembered the slow fade of that smile. She remembered all too well the seriousness that had replaced the playfulness. His saddening, screwing themselves into hers. She knew without having to say a single word. She knew he loved her without hesitation or doubt. She willed him not to pursue the issue. She wanted so much not to think of her own reaction, afraid of what she might do or feel. She moved away from him and looked away.
She sees his lips, his torso, and his hands. She tries so hard escape the images, the memory that forms.
His strong hands took hold of her arms, and brought her close to him. She remembered faintly trying to get free from his grasp but she cannot remember why she had wanted to. She remembered slowly giving in to the idea of him. She remembered the feeling of melting into him. He held her jaw up toward him, lining their lips. She could recall his sumptuous moistened lips and she remembered trembling. She remembered terribly trying to hide her nervousness. At that moment her eyes lifted to meet his. She looked from one pupil to another trying desperately to keep this memory intact.
The passion mounted between then and her heart palpitated, stopped, started and leapt. She could no longer resist him. She could no longer help herself from touching him. She remembered the acute concentration it took to breathe life into her diseased limbs. She lifted her hands to cradle his face and she remembered her hands guiding him down toward her hungrily. She remembered this as an omnipresent ghost looking in on secret lovers.
The kisses grew deeper and their lips parted and tongues greedily searched a new foreign abyss. Their chests rose and fell rapidly now. She remembered her breath coming in short bursts. She urgently felt his back, shoulder, neck. He kissed her collarbone. She kissed his neck, lips, cheeks. Every inch of bare skin was hers to claim. She remembered tugging lightly but firmly on his short luscious hair. She drank him in hungrily. She remembered feeding off his kisses, the heat, his body.
She remembered it all happening so suddenly. She remembered guiltily feeling that she did not want it to end. She pulled at his collar bringing him as close as he could get. She felt his body pressed against hers. She felt his groin push against hers and a flame burned between her legs.
She barely remembered the squabble to remove as much clothing. She remembered her skirt rising and her shaky hands urgently reaching pants. With his strong arms he sat her on the small cherry wood buffet next to the front door and without hesitation he slid into her. She remembered one of her hands curled around the nape of his neck while her other held steadfast onto a shelf above her head and squeezed by the man she loved.
They embraced, kissed, and made love. She remembered moaning his name as they climaxed together in the hall of his father's home…
"Jake…"
The memories came back to her in waves and images. She remembered the jet black hair, the black pearl engaging eyes and the smooth dark skin.
***
Bella thought of her beloved Edward and guilt lurched forward into her throat. Her eyes filled with tears she knew he would find out eventually but she could not stop herself. She stepped in the familiar hallway and waited next to the tainted cherry buffet.
Author's note: Alright so I was toying with this idea for a long time. I wrote several ideas and short stories about the idea of loving two people and the indecision with both. This came to me as I was at work talking to a married colleague about mistresses. So I hope you enjoyed and you review, ask questions, whatever. Oh, and I understand if you think there might be some parts missing but I wanted to point that she (Bella)is remembering and therefore remembering the parts she wants to or does not want to ;) . P.S: Flaming is stupid, use your and my time for a better purpose. THANKS!!