The backstory is heavily inspired by that of another dovakiin, Elis over on the kink meme. That credit goes to Elis' lovely author and fantastic stories, but the rest of Morning is mine.
I do not own the Elder Scrolls or Bethesda. Unfortunately.
The first night I spent with Balimund was an eventful one. It was a dark, cold night, and plenty of predators were out and about. Wolf attacks had increased threefold in the past moon, and I personally had been attacked by two sabre cats on the way to Riften-at once no less. I assured the rugged blacksmith that his fears were ungrounded, that it was nothing I hadn't faced before. The cats had been dispatched with the help of several health potions, and wolves could be rended with a single axe swing. Our discussion had been interrupted by a vampire attack, right in the square. They killed and zombified a beggar in less than five minutes, and killed several city guards. The beasts were sent back to Oblivion quickly with blade and bow, but Balimund's mind was set. He came upon me as my axe and sword were still stained with blood. Coaxed with delicate caresses and sweet nothings, I agreed to halt my departure 'til morning.
Balimund, a lifelong bachelor, had a tiny bed. I was nervous, butterflies fluttering and nirnroot chiming in my stomach. But he didn't press me into anything. He was a perfect gentleman as we shed our clothes with nothing more than a nervous smile. We laid in the bed, I pressed against the wall with thick arms cradling me securely. He threw the fur over us, and suddenly I felt more secure than I had since childhood, pressed between two walls, one of pine, the other of muscle. I remember thinking Balimund was warm, as warm as the fire salts I collected for him. Then I was swept into an abyss as comfortable as sinking into a delectably hot bath.
I slept without Vaermina's taint, another novelty for me. I remember being woken in the middle of the night by the keening of wolves, far, far off in the distance. Moonlight shone through the window, casting a balmy pale over everything. The faint patter of rain sounded on the thatch roof. I felt nothing but the reassuring presence of my partner. I breathed in his smell, the warm scent of embers and heated steel. The wolves howled once more, and Balimund stirred in his sleep. I cords of muscle shifted against my bare back, just beneath his toughened skin. His nose nuzzled into the back of my neck, my long, black hair. His nose nudged the strands aside, and he pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. The wires of his moustache were scratchy, and his lips were chapped, but I didn't care. I gasped harshly. I had never-never, not even once- received such an act of affection. It was just so tender, touching me for the sake of touching me, kissing me for the sake of kissing me. Such acts on me were always mocking, a twisted caricature of love.
Balimund seemed to wake somewhat then. He kissed me again, more slowly, lips parting with a heart melting pop. Then again, and again, picking up speed. He travelled along my neck, turning me ever so gently, until we were face to face, and he was reverently kissing my throat. I was out of my element, completely off guard, and one of my hands raised to thread through blonde hair. I gasped and reeled, eyes rolling into the back of my head. His lips moved up to my trembling ones, and he kissed me passionately. Then he pulled back.
'Do you want this?' He asked, voice husky with desire.
'I-well-I-maybe? Yes? I think so?'
I had no idea what was going on, what was happening, why it was happening. My years in the Summerset Isles had trained me to think that sex only led to pain. Imagine if you were stabbed, and instead of bleeding or feeling pain, you felt completely euphoric. That was how strange, hoe unexpected Balimund's attentions were to me.
Balimund smiled crookedly. He leaned to the side and pressed a small, chaste kiss to the sensitive cartilage of my ear. I groaned.
'Tell me to stop, and I will.' He pledged, passionately. I could only tremble in response.
Then the entire bed was shifting, and he was moving down my body, and he was spreading pleasure everywhere he went with kisses and touches, and my legs were being spread, and Y'ffre's breath, what was he doing?
I screamed the first time he kissed me down there. According to Balimund, I turned absolutely feral, screeching my pleasure, writhing, and crying out. I tensed with every pass of his lips and tongue, but not unpleasantly so, no, quite the opposite. Then that wave of delicious tension rose and crested, and just as I was about to release-
Every alarm bell in my body went off at once, every neuron in my brain screamed panic.
'No, stop, please, please!' My voice broke on the last word, and I scrambled away from my lover and into a sitting position. I seized the blanket to cover myself with, and trembled with instinctive terror and shame.
'Morning?' Balimund's voice was worried, but still I kept my eyes averted. I expected rage in his tone, or a sadistic amusement. My owner's voice echoed in my ears;You really thought a beast like you deserves release?
Balimund was not Justicar Seran. But I was scared. So goddamn scared.
It's not Seran. It's just Balimund. It's okay. I repeated this mantra in my head as I forced myself to raise my head and look at the confused Nord. My eyes flickered open. Why was he so blurry? Oh yes, I was crying. Saltwater collected in my eyes, droplets overflowing and drifting down my cheeks.
'Morning?' He repeated my name. 'Morning, love, are you okay?' I nodded. But once I did, I couldn't seem to stop, just kept on bobbing my head, tears rolling down my face. Balimund's face grew anguished as he read the fear in my own, and he surged forwards like a tidal wave, gathering me into his arms.
'It's okay.' He whispered, soothingly. 'It's okay, I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you, it's okay.'
'I know.' I whispered back. 'I'm sorry. I don't doubt you.'
'Do you want to talk about it?' He asked, pulling back and cocking his head to the side. I took a deep breath, and nodded, only once this time.
'You-' I hiccuped. 'You know I was born in Valenwood, I told you this. But I didn't grow up there.' I curled into a ball, but refused to look away from his eyes. 'I was-am-from a clan that waged open war against the Thalmor. We refused to give up our way of life….the Green Pact? But one day, my particular village was found. We were rooted out, and they….' I took a deep breath.
'They razed the village to the ground.' The sentence came out in a gust. 'The trees. The houses. The-the people. I was a baby but I'll never forget how the trees burned, like torches in the night.
'Most burned, or were executed. But some, mostly children were taken into slavery. Including me.
'I was bought by a Justicar. His name was Seran, but I knew him as "master". He-I think you Nords would call it grooming. But he was preparing me to be his-his-he called it a pet, but I wasn't-' I tried a different tactic.
'From the day of my first monthly he-violated me. Used me. Over and over, and fucking over. And I know you're not him, and I know you'd never do that, but every time you touch me all I can think of is him, and it's so sodding scary Balimund.'
Balimund remained silent. But rage grew in his beautiful brown eyes from the instant I described the burning of my home. And once I reached this particular part of my tale, his expression was absolutely murderous.
'Huh-he would humiliate me verbally as much as possible. Rub it in my face how he-everything. And one day, he said something, Y'ffre, I can't remember exactly what. But it was about how his furniture was made from Valenwood lumber.
'I snapped. That was the final straw from me. I went off my head, screaming, fighting, clawing at everything living with my nails, with my teeth. I almost murdered my "master" with them, bit out a chunk of his neck before I was restrained.
'I was punished of course. Harshly. Beatings, starvation, lashings….you ever wonder how I got this scar?' I pointed to the ugly gashes on the rightmost side of my face.
'I was made to live in a cage in "master's" basement. I was told "if you're going to act like a savage, you'll get treated like one". They wouldn't feed me, but sometimes they'd throw me-' My face paled, and I swallowed heavily. 'Remains.'
'One day I escaped. Picked the lock to my cage with a shard of bone. I took a dagger. And I murdered that jack booted fuck while he slept. I remembered the blood beneath my hands. I remember stuffing him in my cage with a nightshade flower in his mouth. I stole his robes. And I ran.
'They chased me, once they found his corpse. But by the time they did, I was out of Alinor. And then-well, the rest is history.'
I omitted the betrayal and subsequent trip to Helgen. The rest was irrelevant to the night's events, and could be saved for another day. As soon as my mouth shut, I took another long, cleansing breath. I didn't know what I had expected of telling my tale. Recrimination, blame, tears at the very least. But instead it felt good. Like slipping off a heavy pack after a long day of travel.
Balimund held me for a long moment. I was curled up in his secure arms, eyes closed, breathing in the smell of him, memorising the feel of his skin. I was at peace. Finally, he spoke.
'I'm sad he's dead.' I stiffened, panicking. 'I want to kill that monster myself.' I relaxed once more, smiling.
'I think I would have very much liked to see that.' Balimund pressed a sweet kiss to the top of your head.
'I love you Morning. I will never be that bastard. And I will never let any of it's ilk at you again.'
I turned, rising on my knees until I could kiss him. I persuaded his lips to part, and he allowed me to explore the hot, slick silk of his mouth. The movement gave me comfort. Pets never kissed. Not like this anyway, not so slowly, so leisurely. Then something struck me. I pulled back, biting a lip.
'Do you want to….continue as we were?' Balimund seemed to consider his answer.
'Only if you want to. Only when you want to.' I shook my head slowly.
'I'm tired.' He smiled.
'Alright then. Besides. Holding you is just as good.' We settled down, and he threw the fur around us once more. Ond once more, I cocooned myself in the world of safety and heat and the man I loved.
The morning came, as it does. I felt like I had just recovered from a severe bout of Ataxia. I was still slightly weak, but everything felt so shiny and new. Sunlight illuminated everything with its soft rays. Birds tweeted simple melodies. For a moment, just before I opened my eyes, I thought I was in Valenwood once more. That I was still a child, and Seran's torture was nothing more than a nightmare. But then Balimund muttered in his sleep, and tightened his arms around me. I smiled. I wasn't in Valenwood. Probably never would be, ever again. But Balimund's arms were a pretty damn good substitute.
The next time I woke, I was alone. It was later in the day, as evidenced by the sounds of bustle in the market place. I rolled onto my back. I could hear Balimund working at his forge, a steadily repetitive clang. I turned my head to find a hearty breakfast on the bedside table. A jug of milk, and a plate of various cuts of meat, and a wedge of cheese-no vegetables I noted with an affectionate smile-waited for me with a note.
Don't be alarmed, I would never leave you. I'm just outside, working the forge. Love-Balimund.
Balimund was sitting at the grindstone when my arms slipped around his shoulders, and I pressed myself into his back.
'You know, there's really no point in me leaving this late in the day.' I murmured, softly taking the lobe of his strangely rounded ear into my mouth.