(Garnet: "Hi guys! It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, as you can probably tell "One Dark and Stormy Night" is still going and I haven't been focusing on DoF as much as I should. So I'm posting this little story that I've been working on as kinda an apology for my laziness. Remember to review! It's nice to know I've got readers, it could help me improve my later stories and I'd also like to know if you want to see Jessi's main story "TRC: Retold" since I'm kinda working on that too. Well, I think that's all for now so I hope you enjoy and hopefully I'll be back soon! Bye!")
I yearn for his kiss, I beg for his touch, for him to look at me with such a passion as he does in battle. I'm a pathetic mess and I know it. I'm in love with someone who will never love me. I know it, and yet I want him still. What's wrong with me? My dreams used to be beautiful, so many stories in my head just waiting to be seen, to be lived and yet now all I want in life is him. Is love this cruel? Is this its life-stealing power? Why do people talk about it with such joy if this is what it's like? Jessi thought with a sigh while looking out at the desert from the balcony.
The cold midnight air blew against her warm brown hair softly and the moon was at its brightest, bathing the scene in its mysterious silver light. She didn't know how she started to think about it, though it was always on her mind.
It was then, under the bright night sky, that she realized how much he truly meant to her.
How his smile filled her with joy.
How his laugh was more beautiful than any aria.
How just the mere thought of him made her smile and most importantly...
How much she really loved him.
"Learn to be lonely. Life can be lived, life can be loved... alone..." she sung sadly, tears forming in her eyes. She never was that good at singing, but it wasn't like anyone would hear her and when she felt like this she just needed to.
She knew once everything was done, once the story had ended- that she'd be alone again. No matter how many people were in her life... she'd still be alone. Even if he loved her it would only last until the journey's end and the memories would be more painful than her dreams.
It was better this way and yet, she still wanted to be with him. Would his love be worth the pain? She would never know.
It's going to end soon. The curtain is falling on this play and yet all I can do is watch. That's all I ever did, just watch. They're going to leave tomorrow. I wonder if they'll be surprised when they land and I'm not there...
She thought of their reaction and smirked. She was able to keep her "Mask" on throughout the whole story. They never once thought she could have known from the very beginning how things would end.
"Oi, What the hell are you doin'? It's far past sunset and we're leavin' tomorrow. Do ya want us to leave without ya?" a familiar voice asked, hidden in the shadows of the castle.
"Maybe... and it's not my fault, it's the Great Lady's." she responded with a smile, trying to imagine the confused look on his handsome face. "She's nearly breathtaking tonight, in her brilliant white ball gown and yet she's all alone with no one admiring her. She must be terribly lonely with no one to see, her beauty wasted. I've only see her like this three times in my life, so how could I sleep on a night like this?" she asked, though the man probably couldn't understand "Beauty" and took no time to see what's so beautiful about nights like this one.
He walked out onto the balcony and peered over the edge and she chuckled slightly at him. "What are ya talkin' about? There's nothing out there, just a bunch of sand and that's it." he said, his piercing garnet-colored eyes giving her a suspicious look.
"No... look up." she told him.
"There's nothing up there." he said simply, wondering if this so called "Lady" was just a figment of her imagination.
"Yes there is. The stars are shining much more brightly than usual and there are no clouds in sight. The "Lady" is the moon, full and glowing, illuminating everything so brightly that it's almost hard to tell it's night. And even down there, the sand looks like a sea of silver in the moonlight, constantly being made into waves by the gentle breeze. Tonight's perfect." she explained, though she didn't say what she thought was made the most beautiful by the moon's rays... him. Like how it made his stunning deep red eyes stand out even more or how even he seemed to be calmed by the sight, instead of always angry or annoyed.
"For what?" he asked, pulling back out of her thoughts.
"Sorry, what?" she asked, now leaning on the carved railing. Its design was simple yet elegant and mostly intact, even though it had been damaged by several sandstorms over the years.
"Perfect for what? You said it was perfect." he repeated.
Her first thoughts were For admitting your feelings to someone you love, for kissing someone, for dancing... but instead she said "For viewing and enjoying the moon of course." This could be the last time she could be alone with him and soon would be the last time she'll ever see him.
But could she tell him? One of the deepest secrets of her heart? It wasn't a matter of if she could handle rejection, but acceptance. If he did love her, could she still love him? She had only known one-sided love for so long, she had never been loved back. Could her fragile, glass heart be filled with love without shattering?
Why should she even try?
Why couldn't she just keep silent? Lock all her feelings away and keep them only to herself? Let him live his life without the burden of knowing he had completely taken over her heart? Why couldn't things stay the same?
Because time never let's anything stay.
It constantly changes. Those feelings were beating against the inside of her chest, begging to be let out, to be said and known. No matter how hard she could try, she wouldn't be able to handle it much longer.
She had to tell him, even if it meant that her last moment with him would end with a broken heart.
"Hey, Kuro?" she started and just seemed to notice he was right next to her now, leaning on the railing just like her.
"Yeah, what?"
"Do you, um... have a mate back in Nihon?" she asked shyly, having never had the courage to ask before.
" 'Mate'? Ya mean a wife?" he asked.
She mentally swore. Normal people don't have "Mates", you idiot. she thought. She never liked the words "Boyfriend" or "Husband", they seemed too temporary and unreliable so she simply nodded.
"Nah, though Tomoyo-hime's fussed at me for it and threatened me with an arranged marriage once or twice." he replied with a shrug. "How 'bout you? Ya got a worrying husband back home?" he asked and she blushed.
It's just small talk, that's all. You're looking too much into things. "N-nope. I usually lock myself in my room so I don't have to deal with anyone." He raised an eyebrow at this and she still was fascinated that he could do that.
"Really? Your parents haven't tried to sell ya off or somethin'?"
You saying you'd buy me? Am I supposed to take that as a compliment? She thought with a grin, no matter how hard she tried her mind couldn't help but have the last word.
"My world has different rules." she explained simply. He never seemed to get the whole "Different world" thing down. There was a pause and she glanced at him for a moment, as she tried to battle her growing urge to tell him how she felt and kiss him. Even if she did, she was leaving tomorrow. If he didn't feel the same way, the embarrassment would last only a day.
"Kurogane?" she asked quietly as she stood up, her voice merely above a whisper.
"What?" He also stopped leaning on the railing, wondering what was wrong.
"I-I just, um... If I- if someone, um..." she stumbled over her words nervously. She took a deep breath and tried again. "I don't think we'll see each other for a while after this and... and I just wanted to say that... I love you... So very, very, painfully much. I know you probably don't feel the same, since you thought I was a dude and all when we first met and such but... I know a lot of words and they're all useless when trying to describe how I feel about you.
I love you, Kurogane. And I'm sorry that I do." she finally admitted, her head lowered in shame.
He grasped her chin and gently tilted her head up so she was now looking him in the eye. "Don't be." he told her and she couldn't help but close her eyes and sigh. It seemed like a dream. Could it really be happening? He slowly brought her lips to his and kissed her deeply.
Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.
"I-I shouldn't of said anything. Just-Just forget me... please." she said and started to cry. How could she have let this happen? This was the last time they'd be together. In the morning they'd go to the next world and her to her own.
Knowing she was about to flee, he grabbed her arm before she could run away and brushed away her tears. "Why? What's so horribly wrong?" he asked.
"I know this is the last night I'll be with you, don't ask me how or why I know but tomorrow, when we leave, I won't be there in the next world. I-I'll never see you again." she said and broke into sobs, making her feel even worse for being so weak in front of him.
She tried to hide, nuzzling her face into his chest, the fabric of his shirt felt soft and warm, his heartbeat calming her down and yet making her own heart race all at the same time. She didn't know what she was trying to hide from... the truth that he loved her or that they'd be separated so soon. The stress, the shock, it was just too much for her to handle.
He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace and held her. "It's because of that damned witch, isn't it?" he asked, rage boiling up within him as she gave a slight nod. It was like the dimension witch wanted their lives to be screwed up. The game was over, so why was she still interfering? She was kidding when she flirted with him... right? Was this part of one of her plans? To get rid of the girl so she could have him all to herself? Sounds like something that bitch would do. he thought bitterly.
Jessi stopped sniffling and gave him a bittersweet smile. It was genuine and perfectly imperfect with her little fangs, but her tear-stained face made it completely heart-breaking.
"You were right earlier; we need to get to sleep. You know me, if I'm one hour late I ain't budgin'." she said with a chuckle, trying to pretend nothing happened.
He reluctantly let her go, wanting to keep her in his arms for as long as he could.
She began to walk away but turned around one more time.
"Good night, Kurogane-san." she said, keeping her head low and trying not to cry again before melting completely into the darkness.