Tap, Tap, Tap. I blinked; at least I think I blinked. I'm not technically human, but that doesn't mean I can't blink, right? My instincts told me to attack, but what if I hurt someone?
"Amazing! She shows human characteristics. Two days old and she is just about human!" What were these men talking about? Of course I'm just about human, it's in my circuitry. I cocked my head to the side; the strange man clapped his hands. What was I, his little circus monkey, this could go on no longer. My hand lashed out, catching his clapping hand.
"I would appreciate it if you stopped." I was polite, like I was supposed to be, so why was he so terrified? I smiled, he quivered. I scratched my head; it didn't itch, but I had seen many humans do it when they were thinking. I felt a disturbance in my hand, I gasped. The man's hand was purple!
"I . . ." I began, the man ran. I sighed. That was the third one today. I banged my head on the wall. I felt no pain, I couldn't cry. Why can't I just be like the other C.A.? Why do I have to be "different"? I curled up in the corner. They were bound to send another mechanic to shut me down. Mess with my circuitry. Didn't they understand that it is so degrading being opened up every ten minutes? As far as I was concerned, it was equivalent to rape. I sighed, everything, was mechanical. My voice, computer generated, my soul, a motherboard, my brain, a computer, my heart, non-existent. I am beautiful, I have been approached by many men, but what was the point? I may look female, but what am I? I am a piece of machinery, a computer, a tool. I can't fall in love, I will never have a family. I had no childhood, I can't grow old. Sure, Hyuga Ryght would have me; I have heard he is a huge flirt, but, that isn't love.
My room began to feel like a prison. I couldn't breathe, I needed air, I drew in deep breaths. I can't explain what was going on, I don't breathe, I can't get claustrophobic, I am NOT human. I didn't care that it was all in my head, I didn't care that I would be put back under intense watch, I needed out. I bolted from the room, my head pounding, what was going on?
I didn't look back, I was positive I had a crowd of pursuers. I bounced backward, but from what, a wall? I looked up, it was no wall. It was a man, a kind looking man. I stepped back, my face solemn. I waited for the look on the man's face to disappear, for a mask of anger to cover his rugged face. He remained silent. I examined his face. He had sharp features, it looked as though I could cut myself on his chin. He had a solid chest, his muscles were visible through his shirt. His face was rough with stubble. Just my luck, this man was attractive.
"Well hello!" he smiled. When was he going to come right out and say I was stupid? I drew away slightly, attempting to hide the knots in my stomach. Well, where my stomach would be if I were human. I frowned, there was no chance. What was this feeling? It wasn't as bad as the embarrassment of men looking at my circuitry, but it was torturous, it was worse than my combat training. What was it? I didn't like it, it made me feel vulnerable.
"Can you speak?" he was so kind, it couldn't hurt to say hi. I opened my mouth and closed it. He moved his hand forward, encouraging me?
"I…I…I… I'm sorry, are you okay". I bowed slightly and began to step away, he put his large hand on my shoulder, it was comforting.
"What's the matter? I was actually worried about you, because I am not the softest thing to run into." He grinned. What was so amusing? I felt so stupid, I had so much more to learn. I looked up into his eyes. They were the color of the oceans, or so I've never heard. I have never been out in the Gurhal System, so I wouldn't know. I stared for a minute, it didn't seem to make it uncomfortable at all. I attempted to make conversation, hoping I wouldn't crash and burn.
"I just needed out of that room. I felt like I would die if I stayed in there a moment more." There, normal. Right? Or was that a complete oddity, did humans never have a need for escape.
"Oh, so you aren't Blake, the new C.A.S.T, you're human?" he looked confused. Of course, I can't die. I took a deep breath.
"Yes, I am. They say, I'm different, that I am more human than others. They have been playing with my circuitry all day, and I just, I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry to mislead you." I closed my eyes and turned away, the men had been waiting behind me the whole time.
"Wait!" I turned, had he just called me back? "I am your new partner, I am Owen." He flashed me a smile that sent my mood soaring, he had an interest in seeing me. Why did that make me so happy? I am still learning all of the emotions people are capable of. I have established that I am almost human. I must learn what this gut wrenching emotion is.
"Guys, don't worry, I'm going to show Blake around the colony." The men didn't look happy , but Owen seemed to have a way with people. He seemed like a person that someone couldn't help but be friends with, no matter what your personality. My goal is to adopt one of those, a personality.
"So, on a scale from one to ten, how different am I, with one being not really different, and ten being very different." He was about to answer, when I began to speak again, "And, Owen, they keep trying to "fix" me, make me normal. AM I a good different, or should go back into that room and make me normal?"