A/N: Hey hey, mina-san! Okay, so I've been inactive for a while and haven't posted anything in like, months. School's been killing me and I haven't had enough time to write anything. I'm sorry, I'll try to be more active on here! So I decided to write something for my most recent OTP from VOCALOID. (by the way, Len's the same age as Mikuo and is a seme. Just to make this clear.) Anyway, enough with this stupid writer's babbling. To the story!
"Mikuo, let's break up." My boyfriend's face was strangely calm, the glowing cheerfulness that normally seemed to surround the blond was gone. He didn't look like he was joking at all... The sad look on his eyes made my heart sink, I didn't want to see him looking like that. However, his words were what hurt me the most. Was he serious? We've both said that a couple of times before, but only when we were fighting or having an argument. But now... We had just walked out of the restaurant where we had dinner and we were laughing just a few moments ago. Did I say something wrong? No... It wasn't like that. He was kind of distant while we were eating too, was this what he was thinking about?
"W-what?" I asked, my eyes were widened and my heart was beating fast. My voice wavered just a bit, but I'm not sure if he realized that. Len's always been pretty slow in understanding people. Maybe that was one of the things I loved and hated about him. But he was also really insensitive and selfish. Like right now, why was he saying such things?
"Let's break up." He repeated with that same unnerving and uncharacteristic calmness. My eyes started to water, and I couldn't stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks. I tried to clean them with the back of my hand, but more and more tears were falling like a waterfall, so I just gave up.
"W-why?" I was stuttering and I hated myself for that, but I couldn't understand the reason why he was saying those hurtful words. My hand automatically flung to my chest, gripping to the fabric of my shirt, as if to try to soothe the pain that was making my eyes water and my body shake with muffled sobs. I tried to reach out my hand to him, but he turned his back to me. I opened my mouth to speak and all I could do was pathetically call out his name in a weak voice. I cursed myself, why was I struggling so much with words? I knew precisely what I really wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come out. What I'd say would be something like No! Please don't leave me. Please, I love you. I opened my mouth, but it felt like I had a huge lump on my throat. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I asked myself what was the problem with me, but I knew part of it was my stupid pride and the other was that stupid lonely feeling that told me that no matter what I'd say he wouldn't take his words back.
"I-I think it'll be better for both of us if we're just friends." Did his voice just break or was it just my delusional hope? I was not sure, he wouldn't turn to face me. His hands were trembling and his voice broke a bit when he was talking. Was he crying or was it the cold of the rain that was starting to fall?
Please look at me! I wanted to scream, to go down to my knees and beg him to stay, but I couldn't dare to do it. My pride wouldn't let me. I stretched my shaky hand to turn the blond around, force him to look at me. To my surprise, he struggled, hiding his face with his hands and refusing to let me see it. I widened my eyes in surprise, was he actually... Crying? The Len Kagamine that called himself "ore-sama"? I think I would probably laugh and try to cheer him up with a joke in a normal situation, but it was his own fault this time. Why was he crying? Wasn't he the one who told me that he wanted to break up in the first place?
He didn't say anything and neither did I. I don't know if it was because we couldn't find the words or because there was nothing to be said. I struggled with myself, still trying to say the words that I hoped would make everything okay, but I'm not sure if those words even existed... Was it really the end for both of us? I disliked the whole idea, but I knew Len. Whenever he made up his mind about something, he would insist on that with a proud face, even when he was wrong or when he regretted what he said.
"I-I'm sorry..." I heard him saying in a soft voice that quivered ever so slightly. Why was he apologizing for? Wasn't he breaking up with me because I did something wrong? So why was he saying "sorry" for? I didn't say anything back, my mouth was too dry and my throat too tight to speak. All I could do was mumble incoherent words and cry.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry." He repeated and wrapped his arms around me. If he was breaking up with me, why was he being so kind? Didn't he know how much it hurt? Why was he torturing me like this? The kindness was worse than everything he could have done to me.
"W-why?" I repeated once again and he refused to answer me, shaking his head as he held me. My head was buried in his chest and his arms were holding me tight, something that would normally make my heart pound loudly and quickly, but now it felt like it was stopping. With a startle, I looked at him, realization making my eyes widen and the tears stop falling for a second. I would have tried to hide my tear-stained face if the tears weren't mixing with the cold rain. "Is this... Goodbye?"
Len didn't say anything, but stared at me with his unusually cold blue eyes. His silence, however, was much more than I could take. My knees suddenly felt numb, and I would have fallen on the ground if Len weren't holding me. I tried to make him let me go, but he was holding me really tightly and I wasn't strong enough to struggle much more.
"P-please... say s-something..." I stuttered in a low voice, just enough for him to listen if he were really paying attention.
"What do you want me to say?"
That you were joking! That it's just a stupid prank! I was internally screaming, but my lips were sealed shut. I had no answer for him.
His arms slowly let me go and I trembled with the cold of the rain and of my broken heart. I never knew that it could hurt so much to break up with someone. I'd never felt like that in my life, it felt like my heart was exploding, being torn apart from the inside. It was so weird and painful... My hands closed in fists.
"Why do you want to break up?! Answer me!" I suddenly snapped, staring at the wide-eyed blond with resented eyes. "Why...? Please... Answer me?" I was almost begging him, why wouldn't he give me an answer?
"I... I'm moving away, Mikuo." My heart skipped a beat when he said that. It's a lie, right? "And we won't able to see each other anymore. So that's why... I thought we should break up." He turned his face from me when he said that, was he crying? I hated those tears, it didn't look like him at all! I want to see him smile the way he used to before!
"W-what? Are you stupid? We can keep a long-distance relationship! There's Skype and we can text each other and-"
"No, Mikuo." Len shook his head and finally turned his head to look at me. His eyes were puffy and red and he seemed to be crying just as much as me. "Ugh, why are you asking this?" He sighed and looked away, closing his hands into fists and biting his lip softly, as if he was thinking of a proper answer this time. "I... I can't stand it anymore... I mean, being with you is just... Just too painful."
"Painful...? I don't understand, have I done anything wrong? Have I ever hurt you? I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry." My body was shaking with sobs and I couldn't tell if the rain was what was causing my face to be so wet anymore. It hurt so much, damn it.
"We never talk anymore and it doesn't even feel like we're still together... So I think it's better if we break up already, d-don't you think?" His voice failed a bit, and I wondered if he actually meant it, but I'd never seen Len being so honest before and I knew... I knew he was right somehow. As much as I hated to admit it... It was true. We'd rarely see each other and whenever we would, we'd fight. But still... I didn't want to break up. I didn't want to be separated from him. I held him close while thinking that, hiding my face in his chest before letting him go and stepping away from him a bit hesitantly.
"W-where are you going?" I asked him a bit hesitantly, afraid of what I'd hear.
"America, baby!" He said with a grin, sounding more like his usual self.
"What? You can't even speak English!" I said, a bit in shock. Why was he going so far away?
"Yes, I do!" He said in English, in a terrible accent.
"No, you /can't/." I phrased the last word, trying to correct the blond's mistake. I smiled a bit. "Gee, you're really hopeless."
"Ugh, shut up, stupid!" Len said with a frown before starting to laugh a few moments later. I laughed too, enjoying that moment with him that I knew could be the last.
"Hey..." I started to say after we both calmed down and just stood there in awkward silence staring at the ground that was still soaked from the rain that stopped falling not too long ago. "Can you... Call me when you're back?"
"Eh...?" He hesitated. I looked at him and bit my lip a bit, did I even have the right to ask for that? He thought for a second, his eyebrows were furrowed like whenever he was thinking about something important. I was starting to get nervous, but he soon replied. "Sure! I'll give you a call." He smiled and I smiled back, relieved.
"Oh, and by the way, how long are you gonna be there?" I asked a bit hesitantly, looking at him with curiosity.
"Oh, uh... a year." Was it just me or he didn't seem to be very pleased to give me that information? I ignored that feeling and smiled. He smiled back, but he was a bit distant. "So, uh, I'll give you a call."
He waved at me and a daring impulse of mine made me pull him by the arm and kiss him for the last time, just touching lips for a long moment. He didn't push me away, but he didn't move either. And that's when I actually realized that he meant it when he said that he wanted to break up and that... I wouldn't be able to just be friends with him.
After I let go, he smiled a bit at me and waved again, muttering a 'see ya' as if we were going to see each other the next day, leaving me behind with stupid tears that refused to stop falling.
N/A: Thanks for reading, guys! I really appreciate it. I wanted to write something sad, so... ljfd I'm kinda sleepy now, so there may be some misspellings or something. Sorry 'bout that. I may continue this someday with Len returning from America, but right now I'm lazy and have other plots in mind. Please review! w