Summary: It has been a long day and an even longer evening. The news that Trump had revoked a bill protecting such basic rights had not only hit John hard, but all their friends. The day had been filled with rage, attending classes, ranting over lunch in the school's cafeteria, and more anger. But at least, at the end of the day, it brought John and Alex closer together.
A/N: This was posted on AO3 The 23th of February, 2017. I only got around to posting it here on FFN now. This is me passive aggressively writing a modern college AU with trans characters to deal with the idiot that is the current POTUS. Unfortunately. People, hang in there, please do not give up. We will get through this.
Also, I am a very gay, very cis female. Tell me if I got stuff wrong, and I'll try my best to fix it.
This is unbeta'd, unedited, and really just my immediate ramblings spellchecked and dropped here.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
It has been a long day and an even longer evening. The news that Trump had revoked a bill protecting such basic rights had not only hit John hard, but all their friends. The day had been filled with rage, attending classes, ranting over lunch in the school's cafeteria, and more anger.
Hercules had been upset and John had been hit hard by the news, and while openly gay – much to his father chagrin – he was still a cis guy. Lafayette had been upset all day, switching between raging and being unsettlingly quiet, and since they identified as non-binary it must have been a big hit for them as well.
But no one had been as mad and upset as Alexander Hamilton. He had been ranting to anyone and everyone all day on campus, and he had nearly punched Charles Lee in the face. Granted, that was in the evening when the four of them had decided to go and drink their sorrows away at the gay bar they sometimes went to – just to make a point, really – and while John hadn't gone beyond the point of being reasonably tipsy, Alex had been full on drunk. When they had gotten back to the dorms and Lee had been there, opening his mouth and letting ignorant words tumble out, John had been seconds away from throwing a punch himself. Thank goodness that Hercules was sober and thus quick enough to stop Alex, and just pick him up bridal style – the look on Lee's face had been worth not throwing that punch – and carried him to his dorm room.
That had been over an hour ago, John realized as he saw the bright red numbers on his alarm clock were nearing three o'clock, and while he was laying in his bed, Alex was sitting at his desk, only the light from his laptop screen illuminating the room, typing away at what must be a long, detailed blog post about how this bill should be reinstated immediately. John's buzz from earlier that night was long gone and Alex must've been sobering up as well.
"Alex," John spoke, listening for a hint that Alex was paying attention to him. When no such indication came, he repeated: "Alexander. Go to sleep."
The constant sound of typing halted. "I need to write this, John," Alex said softly. "I can't just… I need to write."
John rolled his eyes and struggled as he sat up. "Alex, go sleep. We've been raging and ranting since this morning. It's been an exhausting day. You can write tomorrow."
"I need to finish this," Alex repeated, resuming his writing.
"Alex, we both have professor Washington's class at eight tomorrow morning." Alex didn't react. "That's in five hours," John tried. "Go sleep, please."
Alex just shook his head. "You don't understand, John," he said. "I have to write this."
John watched Alex write for a bit longer. He'd seen his roommate and friend write for a long time now, almost a year and a half, but he doubt he has seen Alexander ever as emotionally than when writing this.
And John did understand, even if Alex didn't know yet. So he laid back down and turned so he was facing the wall. "Okay," he said. And after a short hesitation, he added: "Alex? At least take off your binder."
The typing halted immediately and John could hear a sharp intake of breath. "What?" Alex asked.
"You've been wearing it since what, seven this morning? I know you don't need sleep to function, but at least take off your binder for a few hours. It's not healthy or safe to wear it that long."
Alex didn't react immediately, and John just kept his mouth shut, still facing the wall. He was well aware of the fact that Alex didn't know for certain that John knew he was trans. Sure, there'd been moments of doubt, but there had never been a question or answer coming from either of them. Same for Lafayette and Hercules.
But John knew Alex was trans. It had taken him a few months to figure out, and he never mentioned it because by the time his suspicions had been confirmed, they'd been close friends for months, and John didn't want to ruin that.
(He also didn't want to ruin any hypothetical prospects of a potential relationship with Alex, which is another reason he never mentioned it. Though he also never admitted his crush, so that was neither here nor there.)
"How did you know?" Alex asked softly. He was keeping his voice from breaking, John could tell. "How long have you known?"
John looked over his shoulder at Alex. He was sitting extremely still at his desk, not even blinking, his eyes unable to hide he was scared. "First take of your damn binder," John said, not ungently. "Then I'll tell you."
He tried to emphasize with a smile that nothing had changed for him, they were still friends, things were still the same. And it must have come across since Alex sighed and rolled his eyes, muttering "Fine," before clicking away on his laptop – probably saving his blogpost – and started moving.
John turned back to the wall, allowing Alex to change without John watching him. The fact that Alex always refused to change in front of people – usually darting off in the huge bathrobe to the shared bathrooms at the end of the hall before even getting his necessary coffee, and only sometimes changing in the room, but always with his back turned to John, and always underneath the covers of the bed – had been one of the first clues for John.
John heard some rustling and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw Alex had changed into pajama pants and an oversized hoodie that had been originally John's. John smiled, at which Alex rolled his eyes. "Happy?" he asked.
"Very much so," John replied, turning towards Alex and scooting on the bed so Alex could join him – laying on the bed together, talking and cuddling, had been one of the things that had made John's crush on Alex so much worse. "Your ribs and lungs will thank me later," John added.
Alex huffed and joined John in his bed, more hesitantly than before, only reacting after John had thrown down the covers so Alex could get in easily. John noticed how Alex kept more space in between them than usual, and laid with his chest flat against the mattress. He realized this was probably the first time Alex let himself consciously be seen without a binder, and John didn't want to make Alex more uncomfortable than he already was. So he didn't close the space in between them by throwing an arm over Alex's shoulders as he usually would do, and instead opted to gently nudge his foot against Alex's leg – a safe body zone and thus a safe move, he figured.
"So," Alex said, turning his head towards John, still laying flat on the mattress. "How long have you known?" he repeated.
John shrugged. "A few months? Since Easter break."
Alex gaped at him. "That's almost a year!"
John merely shrugged again. "It's not like it's a big deal. At least to me," he added quickly, seeing the look on Alex's face. "I guess for you it's a pretty big deal. But not to me. It doesn't change anything. You're still Alex. You don't sleep, are politically aggressive, write about everything, and suck at hiding your pads even after you once tried to explain to me how it was Eliza that had left them two months after you'd broken up."
Alex planted his face into the matrass at that last part. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"For what, your terrible lies? I can deal with those, at least I know when you are telling the truth. Comes in handy when we play poker."
The joke made Alex chuckle, though he was still hiding his face. "We never played poker," he pointed out.
"Well, consider yourself lucky," John replied. "Cause you'd lose. You wear your heart on your sleeve and you cannot lie."
Alex snorted and turned his head again so he face John. "You really don't care? You don't mind?" he asked softly.
John shook his head. "Love doesn't discriminate," he whispered. And shit, did he just use the word love? "I don't care, you're you. I care that you have to deal with this and I mind the fact that I have to remind you to take your binder off, because I know you keep forgetting to do so. But it doesn't change you."
Alex closed his eyes, and nodded. "Life shouldn't discriminate," he whispered.
"At least love doesn't discriminate," John repeated his words. And shit, it had to be that Alex was being emotional, or he was still drunk, since he seriously did not let the word love slip a second time.
"Love?" Alex repeated. John shut his eyes before he could see Alex's expression. But he nodded nevertheless. Alex could make out what kind of love he meant himself. John would go with whatever Alex came up with.
John hadn't known what to expect at all – not past three am in post-drunken exhaustion with Alex in his bed without his binder on for the very first time. But still he would have never expected to feel a feel a pair of lips softly pressed against his.
John opened his lips and kissed Alex back. They continued kissing softly and playfully for a while, until Alex pulled back and sighed happily. "Love," he whispered, before pressing a closed-lip peck to John's lips and turning around in the bed, pressing his back against John's chest. He took John's arm and wrapped it around his waist, keeping him close, but still far away from the upper part of his chest.
John settled in the bed, fully spooning Alex and pulling him closer to him and pulling his arm closer against his stomach and waist. "Love," he whispered back. He pressed a kiss to Alex's hair. "Sweet dreams, Alex."
"Sweet dreams, my love," Alex replied.
And like that, the two boys fell asleep, trying to shield each other from the discrimination that the world had brought into their lives, feeling empowered by their new-found trust and love for each other.
A/N: Again. Written in February 2017. And again, this is me just trying to deal with current American politics and finding an outlet. And I'm a cis lesbian, so if I got stuff wrong, just correct me where needed. I just wrote this as an outlet and I felt the need to share.
People, hang in there. We will get through this.