Just decided to post all these stories that I wrote during the summer, might as well post them and see what people think. Most of the stories I'll be posting will be under humor. So be ready to laugh.
Side note: To be honest I REALLY want more people to write BV stories! With Mammon being a female damnit! I'm tired of writing my own! So please people Show Bel and Femmammon more love!
I do not own KHR
The Varia mansion was oddly quiet. So quiet that it scared them all. It was never this quiet even when their long haired Commander was gone. So they all decided to figure out what the hell was going on. Mammon and Fran who had been training in the Mist training room peeked in the living room to see if anyone was there. Mammon let out an "Umu" as she leaned on Fran and looked over his hat.
The Arcobaleno shook her head as she pushed away from Fran and turned to leave. Fran blinked before he followed after her. The thirteen year old wondered what was going on. During his time being in the Varia he had never seen it this quiet, and it kind of scared him… a lot. He didn't know if he should call 911, or just leave it as it was. So he did the next best thing… he followed his teacher as she floated down the hall.
She paused at the Prince's door and knocked once before she entered and floated over all the knives and trash that all over the prince's room. Fran only watched from the door way. He didn't want to face the prince when he woke up from a nap… and a nap that he shouldn't be waking up from yet. Holding his hand out he tried to wave the Arcobaleno back.
"Mammon-Sempai come back, Bel-Sempai will kill you." He whispered.
She looked over at him and shrugged before she placed her hands on Bel's shoulders and shook him awake. "Bel, wake up." She told him. The Prince only groaned as he waved her away, she counted to ten before she attempted to wake him up… again he waved her away.
"Go away." Bel said as he rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.
Snapping her fingers the covers were ripped from their place, and Bel was hanging upside down because of a tentacle. It amazed Fran that his hair didn't call out of his face. "Belphegor,"
"Okay, okay Mammon, I'm up, I'm up." Bel groaned as he was set down. He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
It still amazed Fran that Mammon was the only person who could wake Bel up from his naps, or do anything to Bel, and she completely got away from it! Fran envied his teacher for that. She held a satisfied grin before it went back to a blank face.
"We are going to figure out why the Varia mansion is so quiet." She ordered. Bel got up and rubbed his head. The two illusionists and storm Prince walked around trying to figure out what was going on. They stopped at Lussuria's room and knocked on the door. It opened to show a happy looking Lussuria who gave the three a confused look.
"What's wrong?"
"Haven't you noticed it's oddly quiet? No sound of death or any normal noise?" Fran asked looking up at the oldest Varia member. Lussuria placed a finger to his lips as he shrugged.
"It is oddly silent here. I bet you kids are trying to figure out what it is?" The two illusionists nodded as Bel just shrugged.
"I personally don't give a damn, it's quiet for once, and I was having a good nap." Bel yawned. Lussuria smiled as he joined the three.
They paused at Levi's door. Stared at it then walked on. Not really caring about it at the moment.
They found Squalo standing outside staring at the sky as if he a retard. "Squa-Chan?" Lussuria asked. He poked the younger man to only have his head fall off.
"VOI don't just stand there! Pick my head up, and put it back on my body you idiots!" First they blinked as they stared down at Squalo's head. Then they all screamed, being completely caught off guard as they ran back to the mansion.
They closed the door and locked it, breathing heavy they all looked at each other.
"Did long haired commanders head just fall off?" Fran asked, "And talked to us?" He quickly added as he placed his hand on his chest. The others nodded.
"What about boss and Levi? What if they are the same…?" Bel asked as he turned to look at everyone. He shook them to make sure their heads were still attached the right way.
"Cut it out you idiot!" Mammon snapped as she slapped his hand away. "My head is still attached!" She looked out the window and watched as Squalo yelled at his body.
"What's going on?" Fran asked as he looked at his family.
"If we knew that do you think we would be here?" Mammon snapped. Fran shook his head as he grabbed a hold of Lussuria's jacket and walked with everyone to Xanxus' office. He wasn't there.
"Boss,"
"What do you want trash?" They heard his voice… but they didn't see him. Walking to his desk they looked over and froze. "What are you looking at?"
"AHHHH," Fran screamed as he grabbed Mammon's hand and pulled her out of the office. "BOSS HAS NO BODY! HE'S ONLY A HEAD! WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE HEADLESS BODIES SOON!"
Bel and Lussuria followed leaving Xanxus' head there. He let out a huff as he hopped onto his desk, grabbed his favorite bottle of tequila and chugged it. He might be just a head. But he still wanted his damn tequila.
"AHHHH," The four Varia screamed as they ran into Levi's room and looked around for him.
"Levi, Levi where are you?"
Levi walked out of his bathroom and looked at all of them, "what are you screaming like little girls about? Only Mammon should be screaming like that."
"Boss… Squalo…missing their….heads…" Fran said between pants as he fell to the ground.
"What are you talking about? Boss is missing his head?"
"No… his head is chugging Tequila, it's their bodies! They are beheaded!" Bel exclaimed waving his hands around. "I think I saw something like this in a video game I played the other day!"
"Bel video games taunt your mind!" Mammon hissed as she looked at him, she then turned to look at Levi, "Eh Levi… you look… different… oh god don't tell me your about to lose your head?"
"I'm not… but my arm is itchy." Levi said as he started to scratch it arm… it fell off.
"AHHHHHHHH," Fran screamed as he fled the room.
Lussuria wasted no time in running after the youngest boy while Mammon and Bel stared at each other before they fled the room, the two said they weren't scared when they caught up to the young illusionist and the sun.
"All right idiots, listen up we stick together, and make sure your body parts don't fall off!" Mammon snapped, "we are going to my room, and I'm calling Verde, that bastard will most likely know what's going on." They nodded as they followed her to her room. They made sure to not be seen by anyone, and they had their weapons if needed.
As soon as they entered Mammon's room they slammed the door shut and covered the door with her dresser. Mammon sat at her desk and called Verde. She informed him what had happened. The Green Arcobaleno only frowned as he said he had no clue and was in the same problem with the Kokuyo gang.
Mammon only nodded and asked if he knew how this started. Verde shook his head and wished her luck. The four Varia members sat there in silence trying to figure out what the hell was going on, Fran suggested an illusion but Mammon shook her head, she said she couldn't sense any trance of illusions. To prove it wasn't an illusion she called the others to show that they were under the same problem.
Fran placed his hand on his chin and noticed that Lussuria wasn't acting normal. He was scratching his head, "You know. My head is really itchy, like something is messing with it." They stared with narrowed eyes as Lussuria ended up pulling his head off. "Well look at that, I lost my head. Hmm it's not as bad as I thought it would be."
"AHHH," Fran and Bel ran to Mammon and hid behind her. She looked at them with glared.
"Don't hide behind me!" she snapped as she got behind them and pushed them forward.
They backed away from Lussuria as he pulled his arm and legs off. "This is interesting."
Bel looked at Mammon, a confused look on his face as he looked at Fran then Lussuria and back to Mammon, they all shrugged. "Oh how I'm hoping this is a dream." Fran whispered to himself, "quick out the window!" They opened the window and jumped out.
"I think it only happens via tough… did anyone touch Lussuria?" They shook their heads.
"I don't think anyone did… Wait… oh god we did! I shook everyone and Fran held onto his jacket!"
"We are all going to die aren't we?" Fran asked looking at Mammon. She shrugged.
"Maybe… Bel your hand is coming off!" She shouted as she pulled Fran away from him. Bel lifted his hands up and frowned.
"Well this is bad…"
"On the bright side I won't get stabbed anymore… ahh or not." Fran watched as Bel came apart. He turned to see that Mammon was the same. He heard a soft thump on the ground to find his hat had fallen off, as well as his ear.
"AHHHH, EVERYON'S FALLING APART!"
"Fran, Fran wake up!" Fran jerked awake as he looked at everyone.
"Are you all right dear? You were having a bad dream." Lussuria said as he looked down at the youngest Varia member.
Fran screamed yet again as he backed away from Lussuria, "YOUR HEAD IT WON'T FALL OFF WILL IT?" He screamed, it held concern and fear… it shocked the others.
"No dear, why would my head fall off?"
"It was so weird! First stupid long haired commander was standing outside, and when Luss-Nee poked him, his head fell off, and it talked, and yelled at his body to pick it up. Then Boss was sitting in his chair as only a head and he chugged a bottle of Tequila… then Levi's arm fell off. Mammon-Sempai called Verde to see if he knew what was going on. But Verde didn't know and then Luss-Nee pulled his head off and then Mammon and Bel-Sempai's fell apart then I did… now we are all here… was it all just a dream? I felt pain! It couldn't have been a dream!"
They all gave Fran a strange look, "listen kid, lay off the sweets before bed okay?" Squalo asked as he looked down at Fran. He only nodded as he watched them leave.
He stared as he narrowed his eyes on Levi who lost a hand. Needless to say, he slept with one eye opened that night.
Yeah…I know that was a very weird story… I don't know why I wrote it… It's like 7:12 AM when I wrote this and I had no sleep.