Summary: OS. Sam's thoughts as a tragedy has just affected the team. POV Sam

Disclaimer: The Stargate universe is not mine. I don't get any money to write this story.

Genre: Drama

This is a translation of my story "L'Adieu".

Note : I made some corrections. FCOL if you read this ... :) Thank Demetra83 for helping me with some phrases !

THE FAREWELL

So that's all? I'm supposed to be there, without saying anything? I'm supposed to stay in front of your inert body, letting you go? And what do I become? After all, you know me. You know that I can't stand it. You knew it. You shouldn't have died. You leave me alone, without knowing what to do, what to say. Even my thoughts get confused. I don't understand. I'm alone, in this cold place. To look for what to say for your funeral. Your funeral. It's just unrealistic.

No, a few hours ago we were in the mess talking about what we would do with our next holidays. And now you're no longer here. And now we prepare your funeral.

I would like waking up of this nightmare. I've been asked to make a speech at the ceremony. A speech. Like I can make a speech about You. No word will be powerful enough. No speech poignant enough. It's been two hours that I'm in front of this white paper. And the only thing which covers it are my tears, that presumably didn't stop flowing since I understood that you were gone. Because I didn't want to believe it. How could I? You were not supposed to die. And whatever we do, I was not supposed to believe it. In front of my denial, I think that the "It's over, Major." of Teal'c was worse than an electric shock. He could not lie.

I locked myself in my lab, in which you will not come anymore. It's a Daniel in tears who came to ask me to speak during the ceremony, because he couldn't. So I replied that I would do it. But nothing comes, nothing happens.

Teal'c came to say to me to talk with my heart, but I think they don't understand. I haven't a heart anymore. He was ripped of at the same time as you. There is no word that can define this pain in me. Soon I wouldn't have enough tears to weep you. Not enough strength to endure all of this. I feel abandoned, trapped between these walls. I suffocate.

I need you. So need you. Everything is confused in my head. I only see your face as soon as I close my eyes. Frozen. Cold. I need your arms, I need you to tell me that all of this is not true. I need your words. Fair. Precious. I don't know how moving forward without you. Quite simply. And I think nobody understand it.

Another blow to the door. I will been asked if I'm okay, if I need something. If I need something?! Yes, you. They are knocking again, I think I will have to open. I wish it were you behind the door.

His chocolate look crosses mine. Without a word we enter and we close the door. Without a word, his arms surround me. Then his words come to me, like a whisper, a breath to my ear.

- It will be okay.

And finally I see you, like a ghost in front of the door, pronounce me the same words. You make me this slight smile as when you saw us together, so close. You disappear. My vision is blurred again.

- Janet will always be there, Sam.

Then yes, it will be okay. For You. For Him.

THE END