Disclaimer: I own no rights to the characters, universe or plot devices that are derived from 'Storm Hawks' and may be used herein. I mean no offence by posting this and make no money from it.
When Finn bumps his head, all he gets is a lump the size of a chicken's egg. When Piper bumps her head, she gets a headache and the chance to lie down for the rest of the day in her bunk.
When Aerrow bumps his head, bad things happen.
"Gack!" Finn yelps, and then, "Dude, my eyes!"
When Aerrow bumps his head, apparently he ends up kissing the Dark Ace on the mouth. And not with his fist.
Piper is slack-jawed and wide-eyed beside him and she hasn't stopped gargling incoherently since they landed on Terra Wherever-they-are to find their crash-landed leader and rescue him from the clutches of the evil monster who'd been holding onto his leg with a death grip.
Luckily Junko isn't here. Junko's sensitive, man, and Finn wouldn't want to expose his friend to this atrocity.
Which includes Aerrow sitting astride the Dark Ace's hips and glaring at them. "Do you mind? We were having a moment."
"A mo... a mo-mom... a moment? You're kissing the Dark Ace!"
"Oh." And Aerrow breaks into a grin and looks down at the man he is straddling. "Is that your name? Wow. I've forgotten a whole lot of stuff, haven't I? Don't worry. You can remind me when we get home."
Finn's eyes bug out of his head and Piper's garbled nonsense rises into a higher octave.
The only thing that's making any sense in this weird alternate universe is that the Dark Ace looks just as shell-shocked as they are.
"What?" he says, and then he's struggling.
To Finn's morbid fascination, it looks like the Dark Ace is actually trying to get away. Apparently to a bumped-headed-Aerrow, the Dark Ace is engaged in some complicated sexual rite of courtship.
Aerrow actually purrs- purrs!- and shifts his hips right along with the Dark Ace.
Piper lets out a squeak and whirls around, blushing furiously and yelling at Finn to get Aerrow and stop gawking.
And then it happens- just what Finn has been dreading. The Dark Ace smirks as he realises his advantage.
"Home, did you say?" he asks cunningly, "Do you know where that is?"
Aerrow frowns and shakes his head. "I must have hit my head really hard. I can't remember anything."
"Dude," Finn protests, "You've got to remember the Sky Hawks."
"Why?" Aerrow asks, "Who are they?"
The Dark Ace just seems to smirk even wider. "They're the ones who were trying to kidnap you," he says triumphantly, "I was rescuing you. My sweet," he adds.
Finn decides he'll throw up when this is all over. For now, he has to save his best friend and leader from a creepy old villain.
Not that the Dark Ace is all that old, but for hell's sake, Aerrow is fourteen! No way he's old enough to end up in bed with a guy who's definitely seen the wrong side of twenty-five. Especially not if the old lecher has been, you know, trying to kill Aerrow for the last six months.
"Why? Why do they want to kidnap me?"
The Dark Ace, to give him credit, is struggling out from under Aerrow while batting away all overly-familiar helpful gestures. "Because," he grunts, "They're trying to keep us apart." And barely makes it seem like he wouldn't be overjoyed at the thought.
"Why can't you just leave us alone?" Aerrow shouts back at them, and throws his arms around the Dark Ace's neck.
"Aerrow, listen to us. He's lying. He works for Master Cyclonus and you're a Sky Knight. You're not boyfriends, you're enemies! He's trying to use your memory loss to take you prisoner."
Finn is so glad Piper's got over her fit of embarrassment. He does not like being the one to deal with crises like these.
"Cyclonia," the Dark Ace whispers, loud enough that even they can hear it, "Is home. Aerrow. You trust me, don't you?"
Aerrow is waivering.
Not unusual. Some piece of self-preservation must exist in that empty head of his and the Dark Ace is not the kind of guy you jump into bed with without first wondering if you'll get up in the morning with all your limbs intact.
"I... But I know you," Aerrow says, and sounds so sad, "I feel it. There's something there. Some really strong feeling. I feel like I've wanted you for a really long time."
"Dude," Finn protests again, "You're fourteen. You want anything with a pulse!"
The Dark Ace surprisingly snarls at him over Aerrow's shoulder, one arm wrapped protectively around his captive's waist.
"If you come with me, Sky- er, Aerrow," the Dark Ace tells him, "I'll prove to you that we were meant to be together. Just think of it. The two of us alone. None of these annoying brats, I mean people, to disturb us."
Aerrow's arms are still around the Dark Ace's neck, and he slides up really close- too close, Finn thinks dazedly- and actually twirls a finger in Dark Ace's hair.
The Dark Ace barely jams a hand between their mouths in time and Finn has never been so relieved to see the enemy's quick reflexes in his life.
"But not here," the Dark Ace says hastily, "At Cyclonia. When you're feeling better."
"It's a trap," Piper yells, "Aerrow, please. Try to remember the Condor. The Storm Hawks. Try to remember who it is you're, ugh, kissing."
Aerrow breaks away and slams a hand up to his head. "I can't remember anything," he grits out, "Stop confusing me. I know him from somewhere. There are all these feelings..."
"Yeah, Aerrow, it's intense feeling because he's been trying to kill us all for six months," Finn says, hands waving dramatically, "You've been trying to kick his ass for that long."
"They would say that. They're trying to take you away," the Dark Ace says.
"Look at your uniforms," Piper points out desperately, "Different ensignias. Different armies. Enemies!"
"Different squadrons," the Dark Ace corrects triumphantly.
Aerrow lets out a snarl of his own and then throws himself back into the Dark Ace's arms. "Just let's go. Let's go before I change my mind. Before they confuse me anymore. Take me away."
The Dark Ace lets out an 'oof' and actually staggers.
Finn grins in spite of himself. Aerrow is slender but he's not exactly light. Those skinny legs propel a whole lot of force of nature.
Actually, if he thinks about it, if Aerrow were older and the Dark Ace wasn't the Dark Ace, and if they were like really just Sky Knights from different squadrons who annoyed the shit out of each other, they'd probably make a hell of an entertaining couple. There'd be all the yelling and fighting and rivalry and flying and awkward moments and Finn suspects that the Dark Ace would be a super jealous boyfriend while Aerrow is much too friendly sometimes for his own good.
There'd be fireworks!
And they'd take down Cyclonis, no problem, 'cause they'd have two insanely good Sky Knights on their side.
Finn doesn't realise he's drifted off into a big, gay fantasy world until Piper tugs on his arm and hisses, "It's no use. We'll just have to get him away from the Dark Ace without his help."
"You want to take down Aerrow?" Finn echoes disbelievingly.
"I want," Piper snaps, "To make sure he doesn't land up in Cyclonia. The Dark Ace is just using this whole thing to get him there and when he does, there's no knowing what he'll do to Aerrow. Even if Aerrow isn't, er, himself just now."
"That's one way of putting it," Finn sighs, trying not to notice Aerrow following the Dark Ace and staring at his butt. "So what's the plan?"
"You distract the Dark Ace and I'll take care of Aerrow."
"That's your plan? That's a stupid plan!"
"Well, do you have a better one?"
"No!"
"Then it's the only plan we've got." And she shoves him forward.
No, Finn decides, he really does hate it when Aerrow bumps his head.