Mentions of blood and major character death.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

There's so much blood everywhere.

He has already ripped off the sleeves of his own gi and even hers to make bandages and stop the bleeding, but it turns out to be completely useless. The hole in her chest is too big, there's so much red everywhere; in her chest, in her face, in his hands-

No. Don't panic. Think clearly.

"It hurts." She whispers so quietly he barely hears her.

"Shut up," is the only thing he can think of telling her. He sees her flinch but he ignores it; he can't handle any distractions right now. He can't let emotions get the best of him, he can't be weak now- "You're making a fuss. You're gonna be fine."

"But it h-hurts to breathe, Yuck. I c-can't-"

"I thought I told you to shut up." She stops talking, but he can still see the pain and fear in her face plain as day, and he feels sick to his stomach. Cursing under his breath, he tries using his magic to heal her for the umpteenth time, and for the umpteenth time it fizzles out like a candle in a tempest.

Healing magic was never his forte, but this is ridiculous.

"Yuck-"

"Dammit Yin, I told you to shut up!" He's beginning to lose it. He tries to keep his own emotions from surfacing but he can no longer keep his fists from shaking and something- something in his chest is crushing him, making it harder for him to breathe; "You're gonna be fine, OK!? I'm not letting anything happen to you so if you could just stop whining and complaining while I try to-!"

"Yuck, I'm s-scared." Her eyes are glossy with tears, and the sheer, pure terror in them freezes the blood in his veins; "I don't want to die."

The grip on his chest tightens, and he feels like he's going to puke blood. But he can't let fear control him, so he lets anger take the reins instead. "WILL YOU STOP SAYING THAT!? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE! I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOU BUT YOUR WHINING IS DRIVING ME INSANE SO IF YOU COULD JUST-"

She coughs, and more blood splatters her chest, splatters his face. She starts crying again, sobbing like a little girl, and all the words escape his tongue. The shaking in his hands gets even worse.

He doesn't know what to do anymore.

"You're not gonna die on me. I won't let you die." He tries to keep his voice neutral, but it sounds more like pleading and he hates himself for it. He can't stay in control much longer. "You can't die on me- Yin, please don't die on me-."

Her breath is getting shallower, her face is getting paler. In a panic, she searches for his hand and he promptly grabs her. Even in her last moments she holds him in a vice grip, her knuckles turning white from holding him so hard, and yet it's not enough to stop the trembling in his hands that had now spread all over his frame.

The words dive out his mouth before he can even stop them.

"I love you."

In that moment, that single moment, he see her eyes focus on him. They widen in shock, but underneath the pain and fear in them he can still see the love and gratefulness in which she looks at him, and for a second he can allow himself to bask in the warmth of her smile one last time.

But then the light in her eyes extinguishes, her grip on his hand weakens and the warmth is gone forever.

And he kneels next to her; confused, shell-shocked. For a moment he can't comprehend what just happened, he just frowns at her lifeless body as if expecting her to spring to life any second-

Her hand feels so cold.

And this time he can't keep the emotions hidden. They swirl inside him with the force of a hurricane, clawing at his insides like rabid dogs. And slowly, his face begins to twist and something ugly and painful resurfaces in his expression and he can't keep it inside any longer because otherwise it will tear him into pieces-

He can't cry. There will always be a part of him that will refuse to give in to such a blatant display of weakness. So instead he screams.

And screams.

And screams. Until his throat is raw and hoarse and he feels nauseous and out of breath, and even then he continues to scream at the top of his lungs in hopes it will shut away the fury and hatred and sorrow and pain that threaten to drown him, threaten to consume him whole.

But it doesn't. And it never, ever will.