Why are sometimes we are strong, other times weak? Why do others make us feel as though we are mice, insignificant and feeble? Why must we curb our rage and impede our desires? Why must we pretend to be something we are not just to fit in? Answer: we don't ; we are just specks in a system outside of our control; we can grow old or die young, so we restrain ourselves when the powerful make us feel weak. We are The Heroes Of Evil and this is our tale.
Aritz, me, the boy that wanted to fit in, to be part of the rest, to blend in; Esteban, the vigilante, the boy that didn't care, that stood up and helped when others held no concern; and Sara, she is different, she helps when she wants and doesn't mind she looks different because different doesn't have to be bad.
We met at the beginning of the school year. I was the last to enter the classroom. In doing so I thought to have cast myself as the outcast. I tried to remedy this but ended up plunging deeper into the hole I created in my quest for recognition. In my rage for my stupidity I directed my ire to a girl, Yolanda, that made fun of my uncouth way of starting a conversation. It's hard to start a conversation when you don't know what to talk about. I know what I did was stupid but so was she. I ended up call her a "fuckin' bitch" when she had her back turned, but she heard. It was idiotic but she made fun of my looks without knowing me. Her friends used the idea of dating me sound disgusting. They were so mean; laughing at me when I tried to defuse the situation and help higher my standing. I know what I did was stupid, but her reaction made me feel even worse. In five... no...not even a one minute conversation, I was an outsider and I hated it. And myself. So I tried on more thing to bring me back up.
I knew that if you showed yourself as a tough guy, someone that knew how to laugh when punched, someone that was strong then maybe just maybe I could be part if the crowd. But I messed up, I got too cocky too fast and came off as a lunatic.
During lunch my eyes held a wrathful gaze that promised pain on those that wronged me; I was looking Yolanda from earlier. I was sitting on the back of a bench that was pushed up against a concrete wall. I was being creepy, scary and they ended up doing exactly what I wanted. Yolanda's boyfriend(?), Raul, came over to talk to me when the bitch started getting frightened. He tried to get my attention but I was still staring at her. Practically feeling his anger I started laughing. It was a kind of hysterical laughter, filled with madness. This was part of my plan to prove myself. So when he started to slap me I figured if I could keep up my act I'd win my standing. With each slap I kept laughing. Back then I wasn't able to read a crowd; I didn't realize that my plan wasn't working.
He stopped slapping me deciding to knee me in the gut when he understood I would continue to laugh at him. I crashed into the floor from the force of the hit knocking over a carton of milk on ground. Estaban stood up and pushed away Raul shouting,"Cut it out, retard." The boy not understanding and angry asked, "Cut what out? Why are you gettin' involved, asshole?" Estaban can be really blunt sometimes and revealed, "You've spilled my milk, man!" "What milk have I spilled?" Raul asked still yelling. Picking up the milk Estaban said still miffed, "This milk here..." Taking the milk from Estaban, Raul asked, "This milk here? Be careful: your milk's all spilled..." He started to pore milk on my head shouting, "Milk! Milk! Your milk's all spilled." Estaban finally at the end of his rope attacked Raul when threw the milk on the floor after pouring the rest of it on my head. Pushing hard enough that Raul was sent more than a few feet back. Although pushed he was still on his feet so he grabbed Estaban's collar pushed him to the wall . "You want some too?" "Yeah, I do. Go on, hit me! Hit me too! Hey! Look! He's gonna hit me! I'm not gonna touch you." I guess Raul realized that if he hit Estaban he'd be seen as the bad guy because let go of Estaban's collar. "I don't know who's crazier... your pal, or you," Raul diclosed. "Go on. Get lost. Go!" Estaban left without a second look at me; I was still on the ground, milk soaking my hair and jacket. Raul decided to humiliate me more by shaking my milk doused hair shouting, "Milk!" in my face.
Like I said my idea completely backfired. I could say it was my fault for attempting it or say it was Estaban's for stepping in, truth is it doesn't matter because I won't be doing it again. Tears started forming in my eyes but before I could go into full sobbing mode, Estaban's hand was in my face checking if I need help up. Needing something, anything, to directed my anger at Estaban. Standing up on my own I shouted, "What are you, a vigilante?" People were still looking at us. I had walked away not really wanting to listen to what he had said but ended up hearing it anyway. "Vigilante. No, but they spilled my milk! Didn't you see that?" "Yeah, they fuckin' spilled it over me!" I knew should've stopped there but I continued not caring people could still hear my words, "You shouldn't have gotten involved. You fucked everything up." Estaban obviously not understanding asked, "What did I fuck up? You getting the shit kicked out of you?" Trying to explain, " I was laughing at him. I don't mind pain. I was trying to see who could hold out the longest, but you got in the way, came out as the hero," people were still staring and listening but I continued on, "and now I'm the fuckin' outcast that-" Cutting me off he said, "Look, at least they stopped hitting you, you could thank me." All that I could think about was my social status back then. When you grew up with virtually no friends you don't develop social skills at make people naturally want to talk to you or even when to shut up and take a hint. I can say I am content with my role now but back then... all I could say was, "I'm gonna be the fuckin' outcast." Estaban tried to cheer me up or something by saying, "You're not gonna be an outcast cos you got hit once. That's just bad luck." Still with my on track mind, "Tiday the reputations get handed out, and I'm fucked, alright?" Estaban caught to what I was saying but still asked, "What's that about reputations?" "It's the first day, right?," Estaban nodded, "Today's the day reputations are handed out, these are reputations. You don't arrive as the outcast, the bully, or the babe. All that lot give you your reputation. There's always gonna be an outcast, right? And as we're missing a fat, spotty ginger, it's gonna be us. You and me. Have you seen any fat gingers?" During my little rant, or explanation, Estaban eyes held a mirth(?), light(?), I don't know but looking backing it looked like he understood on a personal level why I needed not to be an outcast.
He answered my last question nodding towards a very boyish-looking girl with black hair saying, "Over there. Over there, there's a girl that might fit the bill." "She's not fat or ginger," I stated. "I know, but she's alone, and she looks like a dude. Check it." At that last part he had started point at her. Trying not be rude I pushed his hand down and said in an exasperated voice, "Stop pointing! All we fucking need is for her to join us!" At this point she obviously knew we were talking about her considering we weren't very discreet.
Finally having calmed down I said, "Listen, thanks for sticking up for me, even if you stuck at it. I'm Aritz." Holding out a hand Estaban introduced himself, "I'm Estaban." Just as a I had took it the bell rang. "So, then. Wanna go to class?"
If you find any errrors feel free to point them out. Favor, follow, review, or do nothing.
-Dark Angel says bye