DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING…maybe the words and that link to that story u see…just read THAT disclaimer.
Summary: AU Light and L log on to AOL IM MESSENGER catch up then they reveal things that they have buried and sealed away. The hurt, the pain everything, but will it be enough to make their lives right? Or will it just make it worse?
Warning: This is in no way really real, but at the same time kind of. Just to make the story flow I will add a link to a story of mine. My co-author for this story is Zomb! Me love him, he was the one I wrote The Playboy's Love Quest! He told me that it would add to the humor if we added a little of ourselves to the characters (my story, his reaction). This isn't a happy story, this is for all those people out there who feel the same way, who are hurting and those who have Buried and Sealed their Emotions away. Light is Bi, and L is a girl, but if you don't like that make him gay. But for all official purposes L is a GIRL.
EXTRA: FOR THOSE THAT DON'T KNOW IM LINGO THERE WILL BE A THING AT THE END TELLING YOU WHAT IT MEANS!
READ: They won't let me put those asterisk the little star thing for actions or those barracks. So I had to be creative which isn't very. I also couldn't put the little smiley arrow head thing. So i put an actual smile, but they made it a box. If u see two slashes (--) then it means barracks IF it is around the time, if not they it should replace the asterisk. SORRY! I have no idea what to do. Hope you like this. Also they don't like links in here so i have to mess with that too. If you want to use that link just put in www(.)fanfiction(.)net and it should work!!
Buried and Unsealed Emotions
Chapter 1
BlackxxxHole --11:12 P.M.--: u there?
BlackxxxHole --11:12 P.M.--: it's me Blackie!
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:12 P.M.--: heya
BlackxxxHole --11:12 P.M.--: YAAA
BlackxxxHole --11:12 P.M.--: so tell me something
BlackxxxHole --11:12 P.M.--: why u ignore me for months? --Black is sad--
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:13 P.M.--: my msn broke
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:13 P.M.--: I can't go on
BlackxxxHole --11:13 P.M.--: u could have email me
BlackxxxHole --11:13 P.M.--: I sent emails to u
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:13 P.M.--: on what name? O.o
BlackxxxHole --11:13 P.M.--: xxxBlack-Holexxx, I changed my name on here
BlackxxxHole --11:13 P.M.--: I was told that u were ignoring everyone
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:13 P.M.--: my msn broke and I couldn't get in contact
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: I know that now
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:14 P.M.--: I couldn't sign on or anything
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: --hugs-- me understands
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: finally heehee
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:14 P.M.--: lol, so, u have fun without me?
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: hell no
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: Black learn sad thing about Lost
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: but first good news!
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:14 P.M.--: ok
BlackxxxHole --11:14 P.M.--: I wrote a fic for u
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:15 P.M.--: really? Cool
BlackxxxHole --11:15 P.M.--: its prob bad...I know
BlackxxxHole --11:15 P.M.--: but lots of ppl loved it...
BlackxxxHole --11:15 P.M.--: or they did during chapter 1
BlackxxxHole --11:15 P.M.--: they not review for later chapters
BlackxxxHole --11:15 P.M.--: but I finally did what u asked me to do (long ago...round time of pushing ppl into lakes cough)
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:16 P.M.--: which thing? I said like three
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:16 P.M.--: I talk a lot o.o
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: I don't remember those
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: I remember something about when I told u I wrote fanfics
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: u asked if I wrote yaoi
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: --closes eyes-- I did
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:16 P.M.--: awww
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:16 P.M.--: good job1
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:16 P.M.--: !--
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: --blushes--
BlackxxxHole --11:16 P.M.--: I wrote it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:17 P.M.--: --bounces-- I gotta see
BlackxxxHole --11:17 P.M.--: the het lemons there are more but the final chapter has ONLY Yaoi
BlackxxxHole --11:17 P.M.--: it says first chapter for Lost
BlackxxxHole --11:17 P.M.--: oh did I tell u it has lemons in it?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:18 P.M.--: lol, lemons?
BlackxxxHole --11:18 P.M.--: yep...the girls liked my…umm lemons in the first chapter
BlackxxxHole --11:18 P.M.--: they said MORE, MORE, MORE
BlackxxxHole --11:18 P.M.--: it wasn't that explicated in 2nd chapter, but the 3rd --blushes madly--
BlackxxxHole --11:18 P.M.--: I never thought I could write a yaoi lemon
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:19 P.M.--: one sec, whts a lemon?
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: lemonsex
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:19 P.M.--: …lost…no pun there
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: Okay u know how guys look at porn?
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: Well girls READ it
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: that is what a lemon is
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: u have had to read it
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: some...
BlackxxxHole --11:19 P.M.--: right?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:20 P.M.--: erotic literature basically?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:20 P.M.--: sorry, but this is totally new to me
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:20 P.M.--: XP
BlackxxxHole --11:21 P.M.--: GASP
BlackxxxHole --11:21 P.M.--: u read yaoi right?
BlackxxxHole --11:21 P.M.--: and u hasn't read some sex scene?
BlackxxxHole --11:21 P.M.--: --is stunned--
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:21 P.M.--: when u say read, do you mean fully words, or like doujin?
BlackxxxHole --11:21 P.M.--: is that like manga stuff
BlackxxxHole --11:21 P.M.--: like pics of it?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:21 P.M.--: ya, manga hentai
BlackxxxHole --11:22 P.M.--: this is manga/anime hentai, but is in fanfic form
BlackxxxHole --11:22 P.M.--: u read fanfics right?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:22 P.M.--: never in my life :
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:22 P.M.--: --
BlackxxxHole --11:22 P.M.--: u have never read a fanfic?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:22 P.M.--: I don't really know wht a fanfic is XP
BlackxxxHole --11:22 P.M.--: --falls to the floor with a sweat drop--
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:23 P.M.--: I'm guessing fan fiction
BlackxxxHole --11:23 P.M.--: A fanfic is like someone like us making a story
BlackxxxHole --11:23 P.M.--: with someone we don't' own
BlackxxxHole --11:23 P.M.--: like my YAOI one is Naruto one
BlackxxxHole --11:23 P.M.--: we take something we are a fan of andwrite a story with it...our plot, but using the characters of the show/manga/book
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: we can even make our on characters OOCs
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: Original Character
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: (OOC is out of character my bad)
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: do u get it now?
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: r u still there?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:24 P.M.--: lol, ya
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:24 P.M.--: just absrbg
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: k
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:24 P.M.--: absorbing--
BlackxxxHole --11:24 P.M.--: good
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:25 P.M.--: ok, pics or no?
BlackxxxHole --11:25 P.M.--: sigh do u want pics?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:25 P.M.--: lmao
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:25 P.M.--: I'm just curious
BlackxxxHole --11:25 P.M.--: if u do then go to Google images type in sasukexnaruto
BlackxxxHole --11:25 P.M.--: no pics, words sorry
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:25 P.M.--: that's fine
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:25 P.M.--: sasuxnaru
BlackxxxHole --11:25 P.M.--: --Blackie's head goes down--
BlackxxxHole --11:26 P.M.--: yeah sasxnaru
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:26 P.M.--: lol, I'm just trying to figure out how it all is laid out
BlackxxxHole --11:26 P.M.--: here do u want the link?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:26 P.M.--: okay
BlackxxxHole --11:26 P.M.--: want the exact link or the link to my profile?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:26 P.M.--: exact link, I'll get lost
BlackxxxHole --11:26 P.M.--: k
BlackxxxHole --11:27 P.M.--: hold on, I have to go get it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:27 P.M.--: np
BlackxxxHole --11:27 P.M.--: /s/4282919/1/ThePlayboysLoveQuest
BlackxxxHole --11:27 P.M.--: The playboy's love quest
BlackxxxHole --11:27 P.M.--: hope u like it...
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:28 P.M.--: Ur awfully worried abt my opinion O.o
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: well I am getting off is that ok?
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: lol it as meant for u
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:28 P.M.--: --smiles and hugs you-- thank you
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: actually before I go I need to tell u something
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: --hugs--
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: is it true?
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: what Demon told me
BlackxxxHole --11:28 P.M.--: about Sarah…
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:28 P.M.--: I'm not entirely sure wht he told you
BlackxxxHole --11:29 P.M.--: what do u think?
BlackxxxHole --11:29 P.M.--: sighs
BlackxxxHole --11:29 P.M.--: u loved her...that was what u told me
BlackxxxHole --11:29 P.M.--: was it fake love
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:29 P.M.--: in a way...
BlackxxxHole --11:29 P.M.--: u think u like someone but in truth u don't really know
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: I know I am guilty of mistaking friend love for love
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: I did it once
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: I lost a friend that way
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: he never talk to me again
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:30 P.M.--: a man shouldn't do that...
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: u did it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:30 P.M.--: I know
BlackxxxHole --11:30 P.M.--: so does that mean u aren't a man?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:31 P.M.--: I said shouldn't
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:31 P.M.--: didn't say doesn't
BlackxxxHole --11:31 P.M.--: lol my bad
BlackxxxHole --11:31 P.M.--: I didn't mean that
BlackxxxHole --11:31 P.M.--: sorry
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:31 P.M.--: dw, I told u before, I'm an asshole
BlackxxxHole --11:31 P.M.--: sometimes u are
BlackxxxHole --11:31 P.M.--: but hey, if ur friends an ass u tell them
BlackxxxHole --11:32 P.M.--: and u help them STOP being an ass
BlackxxxHole --11:32 P.M.--: --looks for mrs. lead pipe--
BlackxxxHole --11:32 P.M.--: so how can I help u STOP being an ass?
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:32 P.M.--: if I knew, id do it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:32 P.M.--: my emotions are…different
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:32 P.M.--: I'm cold
BlackxxxHole --11:32 P.M.--: aren't all of ours
BlackxxxHole --11:33 P.M.--: I distance myself from ppl just because I don't want to get hurt
BlackxxxHole --11:33 P.M.--: I have so many walls around myself
BlackxxxHole --11:33 P.M.--: I even push ppl away that is why I have no friends
BlackxxxHole --11:33 P.M.--: and if I do manage to have a friend it's not a real one
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:33 P.M.--: u sound like me
BlackxxxHole --11:33 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:34 P.M.--: ppl think I am weird and insane but I act that way so no one will hurt me
BlackxxxHole --11:34 P.M.--: and if I do something stupid (like embarrass myself) guess what I do?
BlackxxxHole --11:34 P.M.--: I block it out
BlackxxxHole --11:34 P.M.--: That is why I have basically no good memory
BlackxxxHole --11:35 P.M.--: I don't remember much of anything that has happened to me
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:35 P.M.--: ur lucky...
BlackxxxHole --11:35 P.M.--: I don't remember my feelings of when I was happy, hurt, anything'
BlackxxxHole --11:35 P.M.--: no I am not lucky
BlackxxxHole --11:35 P.M.--: I shouldn't be doing it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:35 P.M.--: everyday I see all my mistakes, everything I've done I shouldn't have, all those I've hurt and it just chips away at me
BlackxxxHole --11:35 P.M.--: do you realize what will happen when some guy actually starts breaking through?
BlackxxxHole --11:36 P.M.--: first guy
BlackxxxHole --11:36 P.M.--: will be all it takes
BlackxxxHole --11:36 P.M.--: to whittle away everything I have been trying to protect
BlackxxxHole --11:36 P.M.--: I know why I get bored easily, distracted easily
BlackxxxHole --11:36 P.M.--: its bc once I stop
BlackxxxHole --11:37 P.M.--: and actually think about myself
BlackxxxHole --11:37 P.M.--: I see and feel this black hole
BlackxxxHole --11:37 P.M.--: and I feel so empty
BlackxxxHole --11:37 P.M.--: I start to not be able to breathe
BlackxxxHole --11:37 P.M.--: the tears start to come
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:37 P.M.--: wow...
BlackxxxHole --11:37 P.M.--: there is something I want so bad
BlackxxxHole --11:38 P.M.--: but I know somehow that I will never have it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:38 P.M.--: wht is it? if I may know
BlackxxxHole --11:38 P.M.--: love, not family love, I just want ppl
BlackxxxHole --11:38 P.M.--: to love me, friend love (true friends)
BlackxxxHole --11:38 P.M.--: and maybe some guy to actually see through my barriers
BlackxxxHole --11:39 P.M.--: to see the thousands of masks that I have on
BlackxxxHole --11:39 P.M.--: I honestly don't know what is a mask or what isn't anymore
BlackxxxHole --11:39 P.M.--: I don't know what is the real me,
BlackxxxHole --11:39 P.M.--: it could be something I invented
BlackxxxHole --11:39 P.M.--: u never know
BlackxxxHole --11:39 P.M.--: so tell me
BlackxxxHole --11:40 P.M.--: why did u break up with her once she said I love u
BlackxxxHole --11:40 P.M.--: ( I don't know much)
BlackxxxHole --11:40 P.M.--: all I know is that Demon said u guys broke up
BlackxxxHole --11:40 P.M.--: bc of that
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:40 P.M.--: ...cause she said she loved me?
BlackxxxHole --11:40 P.M.--: that was what I was told
BlackxxxHole --11:40 P.M.--: u got scared and ran
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: I can't ask her
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: she got so upset when I started asking her about u
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:41 P.M.--: Blackie... urprobably the only one who can possibly understand this
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: let me help
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: I am ur friend
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: my name does mean listener
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: lol (how ironic u know)
BlackxxxHole --11:41 P.M.--: ironic--
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:42 P.M.--: very
BlackxxxHole --11:42 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:42 P.M.--: now tell me
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:42 P.M.--: ok, first off, she said she loved abt a day after I asked her out
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:42 P.M.--: that had nothing to do with it
BlackxxxHole --11:42 P.M.--: k
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:42 P.M.--: we went out for a couple months
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:43 P.M.--: it just... I push ppl away when they get too close
BlackxxxHole --11:43 P.M.--: I fear for my first BF
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:43 P.M.--: I couldn't fully trust her with that much of me
BlackxxxHole --11:43 P.M.--: sometimes u have to take a risk
BlackxxxHole --11:43 P.M.--: lmao, how many times has Demon told me that?
BlackxxxHole --11:44 P.M.--: Demon is the opp of me
BlackxxxHole --11:44 P.M.--: he goes out there, risks his heart
BlackxxxHole --11:44 P.M.--: and yet even though he ends up on his ass again and again
BlackxxxHole --11:44 P.M.--: hurt more and more he still risks it
BlackxxxHole --11:44 P.M.--: I call him a fool, but maybe I am the fool here
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:44 P.M.--: I'm sorry, but I can't respect him
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: is it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: don't worry I don't think I do either
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: I almost went out with him
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: it was him or Sky
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:45 P.M.--: u chose Sky XP
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: first come first serve
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: and look where that got me
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:45 P.M.--: ya...
BlackxxxHole --11:45 P.M.--: Sky is a pain in my ass
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:46 P.M.--: lol..
BlackxxxHole --11:46 P.M.--: he never liked me, I see that now
BlackxxxHole --11:46 P.M.--: but why he asked me out I will never know
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:46 P.M.--: mystery I guess...
BlackxxxHole --11:46 P.M.--: I aint asking
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:46 P.M.--: but ur a nice person
BlackxxxHole --11:46 P.M.--: thanks
BlackxxxHole --11:46 P.M.--: some don't' think so
BlackxxxHole --11:47 P.M.--: I want to kill Vic though
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:47 P.M.--: do I know him?
BlackxxxHole --11:47 P.M.--: --mumbles-- asshole...I did not get owned
BlackxxxHole --11:47 P.M.--: --rolls eyes--
BlackxxxHole --11:47 P.M.--: there is this site where it's called u got
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:47 P.M.--: the thing that puts ur name in?
BlackxxxHole --11:47 P.M.--: yeah
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:48 P.M.--: ya...
BlackxxxHole --11:48 P.M.--: he put mine
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:48 P.M.--: I put mine
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:48 P.M.--: lol:)
BlackxxxHole --11:48 P.M.--: I laugh about it
BlackxxxHole --11:48 P.M.--: --hits Lost on his head--
BlackxxxHole --11:48 P.M.--: so that was why I wasn't sure if I wanted to kill him or not
BlackxxxHole --11:48 P.M.--: push him into a lake maybe --eyes flash evilly--
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:48 P.M.--: dw abt that, I doubt he meant anything by it
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:49 P.M.--: its just fun
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: I shot him in the balls but it seems he doesn't know the rules yet about them
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: I know Lost
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: that was why I wasn't sure
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: r u still a masochist?
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: bc if u r
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: then shit
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:49 P.M.--: why?
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: I just hit u on the head remember?
BlackxxxHole --11:49 P.M.--: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:50 P.M.--: ya, I like it when girls hit me
BlackxxxHole --11:50 P.M.--: ahhh see what happens when u don't talk to me in a while!
BlackxxxHole --11:50 P.M.--: I forget that stuff
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:50 P.M.--: lol
BlackxxxHole --11:50 P.M.--: if u didn't like it I would so kill u by torture
BlackxxxHole --11:50 P.M.--: lmao
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:50 P.M.--: yay
BlackxxxHole --11:50 P.M.--: --cough laugh--
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:50 P.M.--: I have a question...
BlackxxxHole --11:50 P.M.--: yeah?
BlackxxxHole --11:51 P.M.--: I asked enough tonight lol, ur turn
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:51 P.M.--: does it ever hurt to see ppl aroundyou not able to understand you?
BlackxxxHole --11:51 P.M.--: like I said before...I block it out so I don't really know...no one will understand me Light no one
BlackxxxHole --11:52 P.M.--: that is why I know I won't find someone who loves me...
BlackxxxHole --11:52 P.M.--: bchow can someone understandme when I don't really understand myself
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:52 P.M.--: --sits back-- that's wht I'm still wondering...
BlackxxxHole --11:52 P.M.--: lol aren't we all
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:52 P.M.--: if we all were then we wouldn't be in the predicament
BlackxxxHole --11:53 P.M.--: ahhh but that is the thing right?
BlackxxxHole --11:53 P.M.--: how do u know someone else is in the same?
BlackxxxHole --11:53 P.M.--: no one would know by how I act in real life
BlackxxxHole --11:53 P.M.--: I am a girl who if u insult her it bounces off and she gets on with her life
BlackxxxHole --11:53 P.M.--: but sometimes there is so much I can take u know
BlackxxxHole --11:54 P.M.--: Masks...so helpful
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:54 P.M.--: yep... too bad there's too many after awhile
BlackxxxHole --11:54 P.M.--: yeah...too many
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:54 P.M.--: can't tell how ur actually suppose to feel, and wht ur just telling urself ur feeling
BlackxxxHole --11:54 P.M.--: that is why u have to be like me
BlackxxxHole --11:54 P.M.--: just move don't stop
BlackxxxHole --11:55 P.M.--: if u stop u let ur self think
BlackxxxHole --11:55 P.M.--: thinking sometimes is bad
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:55 P.M.--: my problem is I have nothing but time
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:55 P.M.--: time to destroy myself
BlackxxxHole --11:55 P.M.--: time to destroy huh?
BlackxxxHole --11:55 P.M.--: I wonder how long it will be before I do
BlackxxxHole --11:56 P.M.--: I listen to three days grace OneX and the others
BlackxxxHole --11:56 P.M.--: I realize that those songs talk about me
BlackxxxHole --11:56 P.M.--: (to some point)
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:56 P.M.--: ...o.o
BlackxxxHole --11:56 P.M.--: I realized this
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:56 P.M.--: that's weird
BlackxxxHole --11:56 P.M.--: I am not fully there yet
BlackxxxHole --11:56 P.M.--: but I am getting there
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:56 P.M.--: I am there...
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:56 P.M.--: I've been there, for abt 3 years
BlackxxxHole --11:57 P.M.--: I wonder we how many ppl are there and don't even know it huh?
BlackxxxHole --11:57 P.M.--: for all I know I am there (but I am miss denial)
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:57 P.M.--: u can't hide from it
BlackxxxHole --11:57 P.M.--: yeah
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:57 P.M.--: it becomes ur life...
BlackxxxHole --11:57 P.M.--: do me a favor
BlackxxxHole --11:57 P.M.--: this song saved me
Lost-In-Oblivion --11:57 P.M.--: wht song?
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: the more I listened to it the more I realized how true it is
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: hey before I give it to u
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: I want u to know something
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: I have never talked about this stuff to anyone
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: maybe to one person but it was only a tiny piece of it
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: that was when I realized that this has to stop
BlackxxxHole --11:58 P.M.--: I have to stop pushing ppl away
BlackxxxHole --11:59 P.M.--: I found this song and I didn't even know it when I went to camp
BlackxxxHole --11:59 P.M.--: the week during June 16th
BlackxxxHole --11:59 P.M.--: it's called Mirror
BlackxxxHole --11:59 P.M.--: I will send u the song
BlackxxxHole --11:59 P.M.--: k?
BlackxxxHole --11:59 P.M.--: promise me u will listen and think about its words and meanings?
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:00 A.M.--: of course...
BlackxxxHole --12:00 A.M.--: then come back to me
BlackxxxHole --12:00 A.M.--: and tell me what ur thinking okay?
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:00 A.M.--: ok, I'll try
BlackxxxHole --12:00 A.M.--: --laughing at myself right now-- I never put those things together till I told u about them
BlackxxxHole --12:00 A.M.--: when I told u how I am I fully realized how pathetic I am
BlackxxxHole --12:01 A.M.--: well let me send it to u
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:01 A.M.--: ok, and ur not pathetic
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:01 A.M.--: ur stronger than a lot of other ppl
BlackxxxHole --12:02 A.M.--: sometimes I don't see this
BlackxxxHole --12:02 A.M.--: see that--
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:03 A.M.--: I want you to always know it
BlackxxxHole --12:03 A.M.--: lol...thanks
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:03 A.M.--: --sits head back-- it's hard to keep things from ppl, they call it running, I call it protection
BlackxxxHole --12:04 A.M.--: sometimes I just want ppl to pity me, but I wonder if that is what I want, I guess we just want attention right
BlackxxxHole --12:04 A.M.--: I wonder how ppl would react if they knew about me
BlackxxxHole --12:04 A.M.--: I think sometimes maybe if they saw it, maybe if they knew...
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:04 A.M.--: they can't understand
BlackxxxHole --12:05 A.M.--: it's the sad truth
BlackxxxHole --12:05 A.M.--: they can't understand unless they are the same way right?
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:05 A.M.--: I've tried to show ppl... they know wht they've experienced
BlackxxxHole --12:05 A.M.--: I know
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:05 A.M.--: can't know this fear unless u feel it I guess
BlackxxxHole --12:06 A.M.--: want to know the real truth behindwhy they can't understand?
BlackxxxHole --12:06 A.M.--: they just don't want to
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:06 A.M.--: exactly...
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:06 A.M.--: how can u trust pplwho can't empathize with you?
BlackxxxHole --12:06 A.M.--: exactly
BlackxxxHole --12:07 A.M.--: how can u trust ppl who simply put don't care?
BlackxxxHole --12:07 A.M.--: they always say trust ppl, open up
BlackxxxHole --12:07 A.M.--: but how can we open up and trust ppl? When they just don't care
BlackxxxHole --12:08 A.M.--: they shrug it off, it isn't there problem
BlackxxxHole --12:08 A.M.--: one day it will be
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:08 A.M.--: ya... one day they'll know the pain of this, the emptiness of being alone
BlackxxxHole --12:08 A.M.--: and then look at us
BlackxxxHole --12:08 A.M.--: how will we react?
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: I don't want to trust ppl
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: I don't want to open up
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: not to ppl who don't care
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: I mean, look at me
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: I don't understand what my friends feel
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: but I TRY to, I listen
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: and I TRY
BlackxxxHole --12:09 A.M.--: but where does this get me?
BlackxxxHole --12:10 A.M.--: further don't a path with someone who doesn't care
BlackxxxHole --12:10 A.M.--: who backs away from u,
BlackxxxHole --12:10 A.M.--: and u end up further and deeper in your shells
BlackxxxHole --12:11 A.M.--: what I hate the most is that when I actually go out there and TRY, try to make a connection it backfires u know
BlackxxxHole --12:11 A.M.--: that is worse than not trying at all
BlackxxxHole --12:11 A.M.--: I sent the song did u get it?
BlackxxxHole --12:12 A.M.--: damn...why am I doing this I wonder? Talking to you, spilling all this?
BlackxxxHole --12:12 A.M.--: I wonder
Lost-In-Oblivion --12:12 A.M.--: idk... but it's a miracle
IM terms and stuff, I know most of you know, but for those out there (THERE ARE) that don't know here it is:
Ur--your
Dw--don't worry
Wht--what
Abt--about
Np--no problem
Sasuxnaru--SasukexNaruto
Pics--pictures
LMAO--Laughing my ass off
Ya--yeah
Prob--probably or problem
Uyou
Opp--opposite
Urself--yourself
Idk--I don't know
Het--heter
Hope you liked it, stay for the next chapter, it's the last one! This is also 17 pages! Even though it's only around 5000 words and all, but it is still so long… lol
Any questions please ask; if this affects you, like it did me when I wrote it, please say something. Even if you don't want to explain or anything just says something, one word will do. I just want to know that SOMEONE understands what I write. Or it MEANS something to someone. I want to know that what I write makes a difference and if this helps someone out there then so be it.
REVIEW!! I have to know what ppl think. This is deep I know. Some don't want to hear this, but most HAVE to. Simple as that. Though I will admit I added my story in there for show. I mean it fit so I said what the hell? Anyway the song is by Barlow girl in case you wanted to listen to it.