As I lay
By Lily Maxwell
Yoite never spoke a word again. He would look in his direction, he would acknowledge his presence, but he would not utter a word towards him.
He had expected that.
He wasn't sure if he liked the idea that the only person that remembered his existence wouldn't do his existence justice. He also wasn't sure if he deserved to exist, after going against everyone, every one.
He wasn't sure if he liked hiding in the shadows during daylight, and searching for a light in the darkness when it was night. As if he was expecting something great to happen, like someone telling him that no, he had done the right thing, the power was his and he had the right to use it. He wasn't sure if he had changed at all from the time when he made his choice up to that point.
He wasn't sure if he was really living.
He had always lived, from all he could remember, in indifference, and now that the world would grace him with the same treatment, he wasn't sure if he liked it at all. The food would have no taste, he couldn't tell when the water was too cold or too hot, and his eyes would go out of focus to the point he forgot what he was even doing what he was doing.
He wondered if this was how Yoite had felt at that time. He wondered if, instead of Shinrabanshou, Kira was a curse that harmed not only the user but those that had come in contact with it. He also wondered if this was the price to pay for using the forbidden art.
He wondered if he cared.
One day, Miharu fell asleep.
He threw himself onto that bed, and for a moment, looked at the rays of light that tried to peek from through those torn curtains. His eyelids soon closed themselves, his eyes rolling back. The air was so thick with dust that, for a moment, he wanted not to breathe.
One night, Miharu fell asleep.
Darkdarkdark was all he could see, and he had no idea how much time had passed, and he had no idea if this was a dream, if he was really sleeping, if he was still in his body. Everything was so dark. He didn't remember what he had done that day, if he had done anything that day, if he had seen Yoite that day.
Yoite seemed paler lately. He needed to pay attention to see if he was eating properly.
And dark was everything he saw until he felt something, he felt like he was moving, and he felt someone moving him. Shaking his shoulders, and something fell on his face, was it cold? He didn't know. He felt that he had managed to open his eyes, but he felt Yoite so close, he wasn't sure if he had awakened. Yoite hadn't come near him lately. Or at all. He couldn't remember.
Yoite was crying, and he held him, hugging his middle and burying his face on his chest. A ray of light shone lightly through those very same torn curtains, and then a thought came to him, that he had seen the light before falling asleep, and now light greeted him again. How long had he been sleeping? He didn't know, and he didn't voice the question to his companion.
He was sure he felt warm now. Yoite was warm now, no ghost of Kira in his fingers, face, or anywhere within him. And Yoite held him, crying silently like he had never seen or heard before, whispering how he thought he wasn't going to wake up, that for a long time, he wouldn't wake up. And he called his name in between sobs, and Miharu wasn't sure if he had really heard him apologize, but he lay on top of him, clinging and a mix of emotions Miharu didn't know he possessed.
He felt his breath being taken from him, the other so close like never before. And he whispered, a plead and promise by his lips, that he should never do that again, that he shouldn't sleep for so long, that he would make sure of that.
Miharu didn't have the heart to tell him that he wasn't planning on waking up.