Not mine, not making anything.
I'm gonna blame Christie for this one 'cause she got me in a Stabbing Westward mood. And thanks to Rena for the inspiring words. This is not like my usual stories, although it is still babe.
Warning: Angst, violence, character death. Please don't kill me…
Song is "Why" by Stabbing Westward. To see the video, go to youtube and put in the band and title and it's the one done to the movie "The Crow". Trust me, this song rocks!
Silence in My Soul
Ranger Manoso had never felt so numb in his entire life.
Life, he thought wryly. My life ended with her.
He stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his blood-covered reflection. The blood of those who had taken her from him stained him all the way down to his soul.
It doesn't matter, he thought, studying his red tinted hands. My soul is dead as well.
In the back of his mind, he remembered a time when he was content. He'd even venture to say that he was happy. And it had been all because of Stephanie Plum.
She made him happy. She made him laugh. Any light that had brightened up his dark corner of the world had been from her. And those bastards had snuffed out that light as if it had meant nothing.
But it had meant everything to him.
I am not here
I think I've never been here at all or ever will
I feel like a place
Where no one goes anymore
Why can't you see that everything's broken?
And why can't you see that my life's turned gray?
I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe that I am real
I need someone to break the silence
Screaming in my head
And in my soul
His tortured mind played back to the day when they found Stephanie's body. Those men had taken her and unlike her previous stalkers, there had been no warning. She was just gone. And Ranger went out of his mind searching.
It had all been in vain. Three days after she disappeared, she was found in the woods by a group of hikers. She was nude. Vicious bruises had marred her cold porcelain skin. Her throat bared the bruises of a large pair of hands.
They had choked the life out of her.
The men who did it had been sloppy, leaving their DNA behind. The police, led by Joe Morelli, had wanted to catch the men and put them in prison. Ranger didn't care about their justice. Those men had destroyed his life. They had destroyed the life of a beautiful, young, vibrant woman out of spite.
Prison was too easy for them. Ranger would make sure that they suffered before they paid the ultimate price.
His friends could see what he was planning. Their only request was that they be allowed to be a part of it. All of the Range Men had loved Stephanie. She was the light in their lives as well and her death left them all cold and dark and full of rage. So with their help, Ranger had hunted down those responsible and made them pay.
Slowly.
Deliberately.
With a rage stronger than anything they had ever felt before, they strung up those men and slowly, painfully, stole the life from them. What was left of those bodies hanging from the ropes would never be identified.
Ranger had left his men to dispose of the remains and clean up the scene. He drove back to his building on autopilot. He didn't care about the blood seeping into his seats. He didn't care about the bloody handprints on his steering wheel. He didn't even care if the police found out he had killed those men in cold blood.
He had hoped that exacting revenge on Stephanie's killers would leave him feeling something.
Anything.
But it didn't. With the rage and revenge gone, he was left with only a cold numbness.
I am alone
Locked in my memories
There's nowhere left for me to hide
But I am not real
I've made all I am with lies
Without cleaning up, Ranger slowly made his way into the bedroom, lying down on the sheets that Stephanie had loved so much. He stared at the ceiling, willing her to come to him. She'd been there, in his room, every night since her body had been found. He knew she wasn't real. She couldn't be. But God, it sounded just like her. It looked just like her.
He reached over, opening the drawer to his nightstand. His hand closed on a bottle of whiskey and he pulled it out before reaching back in for the sleeping pills he had taken from Bobby's medicine cabinet. He first began taking them to numb the pain. And Stephanie always seemed to appear after taking them. So now, he took them to see her. His body wasn't a temple anymore. Why take care of himself when his life meant nothing anymore?
All that mattered was seeing her again.
Why does it seem that everything's different?
And why does it seem that only you are real?
I don't believe in anything sacred
So, why do I feel so damn alone?
He laid there for a long time, unaware of his surroundings and not caring. He was blissfully numb and used every bit of strength he had left in him to will Stephanie to him. He would lay there like that until he took his last breath waiting for her to appear.
And then a cool breeze seemed to sweep through the room, bringing with it the smell of gardenias. Ranger couldn't help the tiny smile that graced his pale lips.
"Babe," he murmured, forcing his eyes open to stare appreciatively at the form standing at the foot of the bed. "I knew you'd come."
Stephanie stood there, looking every bit the angel that she was. Her long dark curls spilled down her back and around her head like a halo. Her eyes were the brightest blue that he'd ever seen. The dress she wore was filmy white and transparent, the kind of dress Ranger liked to imagine her wearing on their wedding day.
If fate had allowed them that.
"Ranger," she whispered, gliding to his side of the bed. He stared up at her with open adoration as she reached her dainty pale hand out to him. When she touched him, Ranger sucked in a breath. He felt like he was floating on air. He had never felt so free before.
There was sadness in her eyes, but there was also love and understanding. She didn't like what he was doing to himself, but she understood why he was doing it. She would have done the same thing if the tables had been turned.
"It wasn't your time, Ranger," she said softly, her cool hand trailing gently down his cheek. He reached up and gripped her hand, reveling in the feel of her skin in his.
"I won't apologize, Babe," he murmured, warily stroking her hand with his thumb. "It's so dark here without you. Please…" his voice cracked as he stared up at her. "Please don't leave me again. Take me with you."
Tears filled her eyes as she sat down beside him. Her other hand moved up to stroke through his hair. "You can't take it back, Ranger. Think of who you'll leave behind."
He shook his head, as much as the pills and whiskey would allow him to. "They'll be alright, Babe. They'll understand." He gripped her hand tighter and held it against his chest, letting her feel his heartbeat, which was slowing down as they spoke. "Please, Steph…take me with you."
She stared at him for long minutes before she finally stood up, reaching her hands out for him. He took them at once, feeling her strength course through his body. She stepped back and he slowly sat up, getting to his feet to follow her.
He noticed the lightness of his body immediately. Looking back at the bed, he wasn't really surprised to see his motionless form still lying there. Eyes closed. Not breathing. A tiny, peaceful smile permanently on his lips. He turned back to Stephanie and smiled. She smiled back, her eyes watery.
"Last chance to change your mind," she said, offering him a way out.
Ranger just shook his head and pulled her into his arms, overwhelmed by the feeling of her against him. It was more than he could ever hope for. Nothing felt as right as being there with her.
"Where you go, I go, Babe," he breathed in her scent before pulling back slightly. She smiled then, taking his hand tightly in hers. They watched as the far wall disappeared in a blinding white light and she looked up into his eyes.
"Ready to go home, then?"
He smiled peacefully, thankful that his pain was finally over. "I'm ready."
I need someone to break the silence
Need someone to break the silence
I need someone to break the silence
Screaming in my head
And in my soul
And in my soul
And in my soul
And in my soul
And in my soul