The Honorable Choice
He had followed her again.
"Of course he had" Regina thought, he was always following her. An undeterred internal vow he had made to assist her that she both loathed and cherished at the same time. She told herself it was because he was a man of honor, wouldn't allow herself to believe in any other reasons. His words in her office ran through her head at an endless loop 24 hours a day. Dark circles had formed under her eyes from lack of sleep and endless nostalgia of the precious moments they had shared together.
"I'm in love with someone else"
There were no lies in his eyes that night but they couldn't be together so what was the point? Just add that to the list of reasons Regina couldn't stop crying.
So today Regina and Robin were in her vault looking up spells to track the Snow Queen. Since Sidney had betrayed her (and she fully intended to deal with that traitor when they met again) Robin insisted she could not go after the Snow Queen alone. Honestly she couldn't stomach the thought of another trek through the forest with Emma so she reluctantly allowed Robin to tag along; telling him before she could stop herself to "stay out of her way" and losing it internally when he softly replied "I wouldn't dream of it." Deep down Regina knew her heart was broken and the only brief respite she had from her pain was at least being able to see Robin. She was in dangerous territory and she knew it but she craved his foresty smell, dimpled smiles, and those piercing blue eyes that could look straight into her soul. Her soul mate-she'd tried to deny it most of her life and even more so now that Marian was back but it was no use. Robin was her soul mate and yet somehow she had even managed to lose him too.
Regina's scrambled thoughts were interrupted when she heard Robin suck in a deep breath. She whipped her head around and immediately began to panic. "Oh my god" she screamed internally, "how could I have forgotten about the photograph?" Regina had framed a beautiful picture of her and Robin to keep in her vault. Sometimes the only way she could motivate herself to do anything was to stare at that photo and remember how happy they were. Eyes closed, foreheads touching, his hand in her hair while his thumb gently stroked her cheek, and the biggest smile she had ever seen plastered on her face. It was like in this one moment captured she could watch them falling in love with each other and as miserable as she still felt, this image proved that it had all been real. Their love was real. But Robin was never supposed to see this and she could only imagine how red and ashamed her face looked at this moment. So Regina reacted on instinct….her damn natural sassy instinct.
"What makes you think you can just rummage around my stuff thief?"
"Regina I was just…"
"Look this was a very bad idea. I don't need your can't miss pointy sticks to protect me and I certainly don't need you."
Regina turned to leave but Robin quickly grabbed her arm and spun her around. The sudden movement threw her off balance and she used her palms against his chest to steady herself. Big mistake. The physical contact immediately made her ache. Moments of soft touches, loving smiles and passionate kisse tore through her like a freight train and she was unable to stop the tears that formed in her eyes.
"Regina" he said softly, always uttering her name like she was something special and precious, "Regina it's okay"
"No it's not" she responded indignantly, "it's not okay. We are not together and I shouldn't be touching….."
He interrupted her again by brushing his fingers over the scar on her upper lip and letting out a pained chuckle.
"What could you possibly find funny about this?" she said breathlessly, instantly yearning for him to touch her again and never stop. But she summoned up strength and took a step back from him. With a blank look on his face Robin fumbled in his pocket for his leather wallet. He slowly opened it to reveal a small photo of a grinning Roland at the park. Regina was confused but smiled at the sight of the sweet, dimple cheeked boy she had grown to care so much about. She fondly remembered the wet sloppy kiss he gave her when she bought him his first chocolate ice cream cone. Then he had refused to let go of her hand walking back to Granny's and Robin had pretended to be jealous. Nothing had prepared Regina for the feelings she got believing she could have a real family. Just like nothing prepared her for the sorrow that came with losing it all in the blink of an eye.
Apparently suprises were the theme of the week because Regina was once again speechless as she watched Robin pull out a photo from behind Roland's, the same photo she had been obsessing over for hours in the confines of her vault.
"Say something milady" Robin mumbled after several uncomfortable seconds.
"Why do you have that Robin?" Regina managed to croak, "Why?"
"If I answer that, will you answer the same question?"
Regina wanted to say "No" but she was dying to hear Robin's answer so she nodded. Robin contemplated before replying, "I suppose I can think of 1,000 reasons why I carry this around but it's mainly so I can sleep."
Regina made the mistake of looking into his eyes just then, he moved closer to her face as brown orbs met blue.
"I can't sleep unless I say goodnight to you and this is the closest I can get."
He did not just say that, she heard him wrong. But as she gazed into his face Regina finally let herself believe everything she had been trying to deny. He missed her just as much as she missed him. He was miserable, desperate, angry, and above all else yearning to take back what was so cruelly stolen from them. But Robin had a code and Robin had a wife and as she once again fought back her tears she knew she would never be able to let him, to let what they had shared go. All their bottled up natural instincts were clawing to the surface. Robin ran his hand through her silky hair and cupped her cheeks in his hand. Regina slightly puckered her red lips and moved towards him, feeling as though she may wither away if Robin rejected her now. But she didn't have to wait long because Robin leaned in as well and lightly brushed his lips against hers. After that everything was a blur-mouths attacking each other, hands touching everywhere they could, and arms pulling each other impossibly close until there was no space between them. After they were forced to come up for air Robin slowed the kiss. His lips caressed hers as if he wanted to memorize the feel of them. How could something that felt this right be wrong?
"Only in my life" Regina thought to herself.
Regina forced her lips away from his but still wrapped her arms around his neck and clung for dear life. It was too much-his touch, his kisses, everything about him was too much and Regina couldn't bear the pain any longer. Robin watched as Regina collapsed in his arms, falling to the floor as sobs racked her body. Tears fell freely down her beautiful face and Robin knew it was all his fault. He had broken her, this feisty, gorgeous, loving woman was broken because of a stupid decision he had made. A decision he knew was wrong the second it left his mouth. He was supposed to be the one she could always count on and knowing he had caused her so much pain made him sick.
"Go check on your wife Robin" she managed to choke out as he crouched beside her, "just leave me alone."
"I can't do that Regina, you know I can't"
"Do I? You can march in to my office and throw away our future together like it was nothing so why the hell can't you leave me now?"
Robin opened and then closed his mouth, unsure of how to respond.
"I'm not angry Robin, and I don't blame you for choosing your wife over the Evil Queen. I just..."
"You just what?"
"Did you ever think that maybe choosing your soul mate isn't such a dishonorable thing?"
And then she was gone, poofed away in a cloud of purple smoke. Robin should have left too but he couldn't. So he sat in her vault, sat in silence as he fin ally allowed his heart and soul win the war against his head. Regina thought he had chosen Marian. It was almost laughable because in reality there was no first choice, no second chance...there was only Regina. He had loved Marian and a part of him always would but Regina was his destiny. They shared one heart, one soul, and the idea of spending a lifetime as a fraction of themselves was something he could no longer live with. Telling Marian the truth would be impossible and convincing his true love would be even harder but he would do anything to be with her.
The next day Regina reluctantly returned to her vault still determined to find a cure for Marian. The Snow Queen was still in hiding so Regina could concentrate on this for now. She had made a promise and she would keep it. At least one of them deserved to be happy. Robin may miss her now but with time he would get over her. Nobody really chose Regina anyways. When she entered the potion room she saw a small bottle of whiskey with a note pinned underneath it. She knew immediately it was from Robin so with shaking hands she crept over and began to read.
I know that I've been blind, but trust me my love you are all that I see.
I have no clever words or worthy apologies, I just want you here with me.
Please take my gift and meet me at our place.
I know now I'm only half of something more extraordinary than any magic you can create.
I love you Regina...forever
-Your thief
Regina was overcome with emotion but immediately dismissed the overwhelming urge to run to him. This wasn't real, villains don't get happy endings. Even if he chose her now, eventually he would regret it and leave her again. No, no, no...she couldn't handle any more pain. It was over. That night she locked herself in her room and refused to come out. Even Henry barely saw her and the whole Charming family was worried sick.
A few days later Regina heard pebbles being thrown at her window and reluctantly went to investigate. She was super annoyed to find the insufferable Snow White standing below the window with a determined look on her face and a stroller parked next to her.
"Go away Snow!"
"Not until we talk Regina."
"Not happening Princess, head home to your unCharming husband."
"Surely you will not leave my baby out here in the cold Regina. Neal would be much more comfortable and safe inside."
Regina's angry expression softened and Snow knew she had her.
"Damn it" Regina muttered, "Fine Snow you have 2 minutes."
Snow pushed the stroller inside after Regina unlocked the door and almost gasped out loud at the woman standing before her. Regina was pale, tired, with eyes red from crying. There was no time for Snow to tread lightly so she decided to be blunt.
"You need to go to him."
"Excuse me" Regina replied clearly suprised at Snow's choice of words. How did she even know Robin was waiting for her?
Seeing her bemused expression Snow carried on, "I saw Robin. I like taking Neal for walks in the forest and I found him a few days ago sitting on a log. Then I found him sitting there on that same log every day since."
Regina gasped, Robin had been waiting for her for that long? He wasn't giving up on her? Regina didn't know what to do but of course Snow did.
"Think how much you'll regret not going after him Regina." And with that Snow turned and marched out the door, yelling "Good luck" before shutting the door.
Regina hesitated for about thirty seconds before grabbing her coat and heading into the forest. She could have teleported herself there but she needed the walk to clear her head. As she approached their log she couldn't help feeling relieved that he really was still there. He sat quietly, eyes focused off in the distance, a sad look on his face.
"Hi" she whispered.
Tears formed in his eyes as the voice he'd been waiting to hear for days floated towards him like a cloud. Not wanting to scare her off he simply turned and said
"Thank you for coming."
She sat on the log slowly, keeping a safe distance between them before softly saying "I love you too" and linking their hands together. Robin felt light fill his heart at that moment and wanted nothing more than to kiss her senseless. But he knew things weren't that simple. He wanted to save Marian and they had to be patient. One thing he knew for sure though. Honor was not about old vows or past feelings. It was about being honest and fighting for the people you love. All he wanted every day for the rest of his life was his son and Regina. Marian deserved to wake up and find a love like that of her own too.
"I will save her" she said as if reading his mind, "but then what?"
"Marian and I will talk. There's so much she has to learn about this world and we need to work things out with Roland, but then..."
Regina smiled at him. That gentle, radiant smile he would never get enough of.
Suddenly she waved the bottle of whiskey he had left for her in front of his face, winked at him and replied, "Then we have another drink and see what that leads to."
Six months later they were back sitting on that log. Well she was sitting; Robin was down on one knee with a diamond ring in his hand and Regina realized she had known all along this is exactly what their lives had always been leading to. Pixie dust never lies.
Fin