Title: Butchery & Happiness
Pairing: Kisame x OC
Rating: T for now (language), may go up higher in later chapters.
Summary: When 23-year-old Sadako is sent on the wrong mission by mistake, she is hunted down by the Akatsuki. But when your shortest, slowest, and weakest of Jounin, what are you to do? Kisame x OC
Comments: Hey, hey, hey...SHUT UP! I deserve to write on OC story in my life, okay? Geez...anyway, please tell me if anyone is too out of character or if my own creation begins to breach border-line Mary Su. Thanks.
Warnings: Um...nothing really bad. A little naughty language, a very little hint of sexual themes. None in this chapter, really, but it will probably get worse.
Disclaimer: I own Sadako, a keyboard, a can of Dr. Pepper, a Tamagotchi, and a floating pink Squid named Commodore. N-no sue me-me please.
Stunning blue eyes. Two of them, to be exact. Smooth, tanned skin, rosy cheeks; long, wavy, golden hair framing her symmetrical facial features. Plump, luscious lips with a cherry tint. Of course, curvy body to match. An outfit that portrayed a woman who knew what she wanted, and how she would get it. It left just enough covered so you still had to use your imagination a little. She was winking, her hand propped against her hip. A quite…perky posture. Rather inviting, really.
Good morning, Sadako, are you done daydreaming now?
I blinked as I came into realization I had been staring perplexedly at the poster for quite some time now. The weight of the scrolls had begun to leave my arms feeling a tad achy, so I hurriedly turned and began walking again; I felt rather foolish. I was most definitely going to be late now, and I wasn't looking forward to the possibility of Iruka-san being mad at me.
One of my major problems, I have noticed, is that I have much too short of an attention span. I had told myself, very sternly, that I was to go directly to the academy and deliver the scrolls to Iruka-san. No detours. No stopping. Nope. Nada. Zilch.
And yet…
…were there really women who looked like that? Well, of course there were. I, after all, did know a few women who could be considered beautiful by today's masses, but…Well, it just wasn't fair.
My eyes wandered and fell upon a store's window. My reflection.
My hair…I couldn't tell whether it was blonde or brown. My eyes, well, brown. Not golden brown. Not even rich-chocolate brown. More like…dull, hardly noticeable, crap-colored brown. Ough. My skin was pale. Not milky white, but it make me look sickly most of the time. Was that a zit? Oh, boy…
My eyes trailed lower. Still flat-chested. It looked as if puberty decided to play a cruel, unusual joke on me and skip over developing a woman's essentials entirely, yet it still had the gall to leave me dealing with a bloodbath every month. It really didn't help at all that I was only five feet tall; most of the time I was confused for an academy student.
You'd think, that after twenty-three years and six months I would have at least filled out a little bit. My jounin vest didn't help my cause at all, it only made me look more flat-chested. I sighed and snapped away from my reflection, back to reality-land. I continued walking, keeping my eyes ahead of me, lest mine eyes doth be tempted to venture once again. Try to keep a stiff upper lip, old girl, you have a job to do. Looks aren't everything…
…but it's not just the looks, is it? You have more things wrong with you, don't you? Eh? You listening to me, shorty? Its me, your insecurities. I've decided to move in. Nice place you have here. Can't say I like the view too much, though.
I shifted the weight of the scrolls in my arms. I had been working at the academy for several years now. I've applied to The Powers That Be for over four years, requesting to become a sensei of a three-man-team, yet I've never received a response. At first, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn't get my résumé. Maybe they're just busy and can't reply. Maybe they just don't need any more sensei right now. Maybe…uh…maybe…
Maybe you're no good?
Ouch.
I stopped. I was standing in front of the Academy building, yet I found myself stalling. I had been here, many years ago, when I had taken my final exam to become a genin. I had failed the test several times; I remember the day I finally passed I had been ecstatic. Yet, it would be easy to say I hadn't improved as much as what would normally be expected of me. I'm a jounin, yes, but that's partly to blame by dumb luck. My teammates were mostly responsible for getting me through the first two parts of the exam; and, well, during the last part, I was just lucky enough to be matched up against the only guy to forfeit due to previous injuries.
Memories…ah, how precious. Did you forget you were standing idiotically in front of the doorway?
I blinked back to reality. Goodness, my mind was drifting off more than usual today. Gathering the scrolls up in my arms, I entered the academy building. Down the hall, take a left, third door on the right…
I entered the classroom. Iruka was sitting at his wooden desk, engulfed in a stack of papers. He had a frustrated look on his face. My eyes quickly darted to the clock. I gave a sigh of relief when I realized I wasn't late after all, and entered the classroom. I walked up to his desk and cleared my throat.
"Eh, Iruka-san," my voiced squeaked. His head turned up, he looked slightly surprised to see me.
"Eh? Sadako…what do you need? I'm a little busy at the moment…"
My cheeks flushed. He had forgotten he had sent me off to pick up the scrolls from the mission-dispersion office downtown. I swallowed and cleared my throat again. My voice was docile.
"Er, um…I'm just here to deliver some stuff you asked me to get, um, Iruka-san."
He looked at me momentarily as if I had a large lime-green lobster crawling out of my nose. I grew red.
"Er…the mission scrolls, sir." I continued. He blinked, and a sudden realization snapped in and he nodded his head frantically. He reached to help me set them on the table.
"Oh, yeah, yeah...uh, thanks Sadako." he said. Poor thing, he was far too overworked. If I was capable of doing so, I would have stopped myself, but as always I had to offer,
"Um, is there anything else I can do to help, Iruka-san?"
Luckily, he shook his head.
"No, you're done for today…go on home," He waved me off. I nodded and happily turned to leave, just in case something should pop up and he call after me. I felt bad, really, I did, but he couldn't expect me to run around doing his errands all day, could he? I mean, technically, he's a chuunin, so I should outrank him, right?
…riiiiiight?
…Just shut up and keep walking, Sadako.
"Oh, wait, Sadako?"
I halted. Should have walked faster, I should. I turned my head to face him again.
"Er….yes?" I asked.
His cheeks flushed as he spoke in an embarrassed tone. "Uh…there is one thing, if you don't mind."
Mind? I had a life to get to. It was Saturday for crying out loud. Of course I minded.
"No, not at all. What is it you need?" I replied.
You pushover.
Iruka turned to his desk and shuffled through some papers. He found the one he was looking for and plucked it from the pile before handing it to me.
"Would you mind doing a mission in my place?"
I perked. A mission? A real, honest-to-God mission? Like, with bad guys? And the fighting? And the being a ninja for once in my pathetic career? I swallowed, still in slight disbelief. He had to be joking. Would they even let me, of all people, actually go on a mission? A real mission, I mean? I cleared my throat.
"A…um….mission, s-sir?" I asked. My voice cracked. Well, can you blame me? I was excited. Unfortunately, my hopes were shot back down when he replied.
"Uh, well, it's just a simple D-rank one…" he began. "I just need you to deliver a scroll in my place. The note will give you authority to do so. Well, that is, if you don't mind…" his voice trailed off. My head fell.
Oh, of course. Being a delivery girl. As usual. I sighed. Well, what could I do? I took the paper from him.
"No problem, Iruka-san. I don't mind at all." I replied, trying my hardest to portray a sunny disposition. He smiled at me.
"Thanks a million. If I'm done with my work when you get back, I'll buy you dinner as payment, all right?"
I felt my cheeks burn. O-oh wow…dinner? From a guy? A real guy? That…well, that has never happened before. Sure, it was just Iruka, my co-worker. And sure he couldn't possibly mean it anymore than just a simple thank-you, but…well, damn it was nice to get taken to dinner by a man for a change!
My face was red. "S-sure! Sounds great, Iruka-san!" I beamed. With a newfound motivation, I turned and left, heading on my way to the mission dispersion office.
I didn't even notice the seductive poster on my way back there, either.
-to be continued in the next installment-