Resolution
By Lily Maxwell
At first, he thought it had something to do with Shinrabanshou. How he was powerless against his touch. He could no longer avoid it. It was like he could bring back his senses.
Change them.
All he could see was his face, up close. Feel his hands on his face, and although he held his wrists, he wouldn't pull him back. He couldn't. He could hear his breathing, so soft, almost imperceptible. As he drew closer, he could smell the rain in his hair.
At first, he thought the world had vanished, and all that existed was him.
The thought was not a bad one at all.
On one side, however, he hated it. The side that already had a resolution. The side that was ready to give up everything, to vanish. The side that did not have anything to do with this world anymore, that was just waiting for that moment, that one moment, in which the past would hold no meaning, just like the future. Disappear. That side was waiting to disappear.
It hated how his cold skin felt good to touch. And clashing with it, his hot breath made him not want to push him away at all. The proximity, he had never felt it like this. He hated proximity. It was a painful thing, to feel close to anyone. It felt painful at that moment too. The pain of the parting that was to come. He hated it.
But the other didn't part. He was so small, and held him with such conviction. No, he was wrong before, this had nothing to do with Shinrabanshou. This was a power that he held over him, and him alone. But that one part of him, the one with the resolution, tried to deny it. He could not succumb to this power. He could not build up a new world, just to watch it fall apart once again.
The other side of him was a stubborn child. It made him hold him and touch him and kiss him and want him and never let go. It was like it had found the light after years of blindness. Like it had found color after years of monochrome scenarios and people. It wanted to feel.
At first, he thought he had gone insane. The way he smiled at him, and brushed the bangs away from his eyes, it was excruciating.
But it felt so good.