Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"And Hulk?"

The Hulk glanced over at Steve with a questioning and somewhat impatient grunt.

"Smash."

That one word echoed gloriously in his ears. Hulk grinned and set off, smashing and destroying every Chitauri in sight. It was the most fun he ever remembered having, with the possible exception of that time with Betty in the cave.

Hulk was cheerfully ripping apart a Chitauri cruiser after throwing its occupants to their deaths when he first became aware of an unpleasant tickling sensation. He grunted impatiently, slapping at his leg because he really wanted to finish destroying the cruiser and this was interrupting his enjoyment, but the sensation wouldn't go away. He glanced down at the offending limb, and that was when he saw it. The hugest, hairiest, ugliest spider ever. Its eight eyes glinted malevolently up at him as it continued its ascent up his leg.

Hulk was not afraid of most things. He could take on armies of research scientists, tanks, and alien invaders without even thinking about anything other than the sheer pleasure of smashing things. But Hulk was terrified of spiders.

Roaring in horror and terror, he jumped off the cruiser, crashed through a glass window– was that Loki?– and landed on the floor inside. The spider had miraculously survived the jump, and was trying to right itself in front of him.

Disgust and fear turned into pure rage. That spider was going to die.

Hulk slammed his fists into the ground and began to rush toward the spider when Loki (whom he had completely forgotten about) suddenly stepped in front of it and yelled, "ENOUGH!" Startled, Hulk stopped in his tracks and lost sight of the spider. By the time he thought to look for it again, the spider had righted itself and scuttled off.

Loki was speaking but Hulk ignored him. He had to find that spider. It was hiding somewhere, he knew, waiting to creep out unexpectedly and–

A sudden movement caught his eye.

There it was.

The spider scuttled out from underneath some debris near the Hulk and began advancing menacingly towards him. Hulk had absolutely no desire to have it crawl up his leg again. He grabbed the nearest convenient thing, which just so happened to be Loki. He swung him back (inadvertently smashing him into the floor) and brought him down on the spider as hard as he could. After quickly examining both the now-smashed floor and Loki, Hulk could not find the spider. Still, just to be safe, he smashed Loki into the floor once more before tossing him back where he had found him.

Only to watch in disbelief as the spider emerged unscathed from under Loki's armor and quickly scuttled to safety under the cracks.

"Puny god," Hulk muttered in disgust and frustration as he walked away, knowing he could never get to the spider now.