Written post-Chasing Demons.
What comes easy doesn't last long,
what lasts long doesn't come easy.
He called a few times. The first time, the day after she left, he spoke to Liam who swore at him and hung up. He tried again a week later. Liam was calmer this time and after some pleading, agreed to keep Luc up to date with Eddi's condition: after all, he might have broken his sister's heart a few months ago, but she loved him – and besides, she'd just returned the favour and broken his; Liam supposed they were even now.
Luc called monthly after that. Liam never let him speak to Eddi – at first, he was worried the contact with her old life would set back her rehabilitation, - but he grew to love his sister's company and soon, it was more out of fear of losing her to Luc. Liam never had a bad update and Luc never ended the phone calls with a smile. Luc had never been one for smiling when Eddi wasn't around.
One March, Liam told Luc Eddi had been seeing a man. It had been eighteen months since she had left him tearful in the car park and twelve since Liam had excitedly told Luc that Eddi had gone a month without camoxidan and the rehab clinic were ready to discharge her. Luc smashed a few plates that night and kicked at the tyres of his motor home until his toes bruised and began to bleed. He fell into bed, exhausted, but didn't sleep.
In September, Liam told Luc that Eddi and the man had ended their relationship. Luc made a breakthrough in his research, congratulated himself with a rare treat of takeaway pizza and slept soundly for the first time in months.
Luc had never stayed in one place for so long. He wrote countless letters and proposals about taking sabbaticals but he didn't send any of them. He couldn't bear to leave, just in case Eddi decided to come back. He watched nurses come and go, doctors too, but he arrived early and left late, he never left the hospital grounds for long.
Calls from Liam became shorter, fewer and farther between after he told Luc about Eddi moving into a flat of her own. It had been nearly four years to the day since she'd left but to Luc, the wounds were still just as raw as the day it had happened.
Luc didn't hear from Liam for another six months. The anniversary of her leaving came and went, and as always, was the worst day of the year. As always, Luc threw himself into work. He saved three lives that day. He wished he could have saved her too.
Luc spent most evenings sitting in his motor home playing solitaire or writing research papers. From time to time, Jac Naylor would stop by for some misanthropic chat and a beer (Luc bought it especially for her) before heading home after work, but it was her week off, so when he heard a knock at the door, Luc frowned. He opened the door.
She hadn't changed. Her skin had a deeper tan and a healthier glow than the last time he'd seen her, but she still looked like Eddi. Her hair had grown halfway down her back, and in her slouchy jumper, cropped jeans and worn converse shoes, she looked comfortable and better than he'd ever seen her. Her smile was just as beautiful as he remembered. She held out a paper cup almost as a peace offering and the aroma of hot coffee mixed with her perfume almost made him dizzy.
"Gonna let me in?"
He stepped back and she followed him in, settling herself at the small table.
"Why?" he finally managed to ask. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but why now?"
"I had to grow up, Luc," she began. "I had to prove I could survive alone."
They talked until three, sharing tentative laughter and catching up on each other's lives. A comfortable silence fell over them eventually and they sat looking at each other. It was the complete opposite of how Luc always imagined this situation to be. It wasn't awkward or strange and he didn't want to run away: it was warm and comfortable and he never wanted to leave.
"What now?" He broke the silence.
"I can't," Eddi whispered. "I can't stay. I'll hurt you again and I can't risk that. I can't risk breaking your heart again." She moved to stand up, but he placed his hand over hers and she stopped.
"Let that be my risk to take." He said, and he kissed her.