A/N: Okay ya'll this is pretty much about how the whole Edward spying on Bella while she slept worked out (Twilight). However, I am mixing it up a bit. I'm throwing in all of the Cullen "children" and a whole bunch more stuff. As you can guess it doesn't go along with the book but whatever it's still going to be awesome…hopefully…

Misery Loves It's Company

Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series!!

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Edward P.O.V

I lay on the sofa in my room sighing once again. I was immoble, not knowing what to do, even the music that usually calmed me did nothing. Jasper had already asked me twice about my confusing emotions but I had no answer, I was just as bewildered, if not more.

No human should have this kind of hold on me, humans were weak, incapable of doing anything that could affect a vampire, at least, not in a threathening way.

But, Bella, Bella was no acception. Suddenly I was happy that I had the mind reading abilities. My attraction was hard enough to admit to myself, I couldn't imagine someone else in my family knowing my deepest thoughts.

Though it wasn't the attraction to her blood that was embarrassing, no, it was the feelings that I was so scared to reveal, feelings that I never imagined to be possible for me.

Another heavy sigh passed my lips as I closed my eyes, sleep would be nice at the moment. No, I changed my mind, if I slept I would only dream of her, the last person I should have ever taken interest in.

I listened to everyones thoughts, seeing what was on their minds in hopes of distracting my own.

' I wonder if he's still upset about the human girl… it's not his fault.'

Esme's concerned thoughts were the only ones in the entire house, if you could call the other ones thoughts. Carlisle was at the hospital, he would be working all night. While my siblings were all singing an annoying British indie pop song, which they all knew that I hated.

They were talking about me, no doubt, talking too low for me to hear.

'Why am I making myself suffer?' I thought as I rolled onto my side on the couch letting out a loud groan, another worried though flowed through Esme's caring mind. Now she was debating whether or not to come up an check on me.

Tears would be running down my cheeks at the moment if that were possible. The torn feeling I felt was intense, the battle between my heart and my brain was relentless.

My anxious eyes looked to the large window, the sun had set hours ago, it would cause no harm to simply watch her sleep. Just for a little while, I told myself.

It was a much better idea than making myself suffer here with my oblivious family who only believed I was so tormented because I felt weak around her, that my melancholy behavior was solely based upon my nearly uncontrollable desire to kill Bella, the human that I… the human that I loved.

That was far too hard to admit to myself. The annoying song in all of my siblings minds continued in a horrible chorus of terror, except Jaspers part came to an abrupt stop.

'Love?' He thought, most likely amazed that such an emotion could be coming from me.

I changed my white shirt with a black one and raced out the front door. Thankfully no one saw me, I wouldn't want to be followed, my presence at the swan residence would be unexplainable.

I didn't stop running, the anticipation willing me to go faster than my already high speed. I settled comfortably into the tree next to her window.

Even outside I could smell her scent faintly but I did not have the temptation to kill her, for two reasons. First, because I was outside, making her tempting scent not as intense, and secondly because if I even attempted to live in a world in which Isabella Swan did not exist I would surely not last very long at all.

I watched as she turned restlessly making small sounds of distress, it was adorable but the urge to pull her out of her nightmare was strong, to wrap her in my arms and whisper calming words into her ear.

But that was impossible, that kind of contact was…well, I just wouldn't allow it.

"Edward." She breathed so clearly that I thought she saw me. I ducked further into the tree, staying as still as possible. It was clear that she didn't though as she sighed and turned over.

Just as I relaxed back into my nook in the tree I stiffened making an agonizing realization. Was I the cause of her nightmare?

Hurt and panic flooded through me, how could I be so blind, so ignorant? It was ridiculously stupid for me to believe that a human could be fully attracted to me, to believe that one would desire to spend time alone with me, I was her natural predator, nothing more.

I slid out of the tree, nothing but disappointment weighing my features down. Obviously I was wrong, I came here to make myself feel better but the only thing I did was realize, realize that the only girl I ever loved despised me. She was frightened of me, she drempt horrible things about me, and probably cringed every time she thought of me.

I began to run home, my speed not nearly as fast, there was no anticipation, I had no desire to go home but I had to, I had to get over this… this mindless obsession.

Bella was everything I wanted and for more reasons than I could possible imagine she was everything I couldn't have.

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A/N: So I have been told ALOT that my stories are really sad sometimes and I know this chapter is BUT hang in there! It gets funny later when the siblings get involved. PLEASE REVIEW! The sooner you review the sooner Edward gets happy!!