Hi people. Im Anita, and JUST started reading twilight 'cause I'm more of a Mediator book loving freak (Meg Cabot) So I'm mostly on the Mediator fics. Anywhoos, this is my first Twilight fic (I have written like, 6 fics on the mediator so I have experience) BUT I promise you readers out there, this is mostly just and idea, or joke to humour us all after a shitty day or something. BUT I am at the current stage of writing a beautifull Twilight fic, which I'm sure you guys will love (Dedicated for all you fluff and spy/action lovers).So look out for my other story,(Narrator:) coming to a Fanfiction site near you...

Bwhahahaa. Anywhoos, Popcorn, Lights, drum roll...dndndnddn...ACTION.

Disclaimer:I do not own any of the characters in this story which you are about to view, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

(ONE SHOT)

Edwards jam fetish...

a.k.a. Edwards love for jam...

Hmmm, the sunshine oh lovely sunshine. But, how can it be so lovely when it STINGS ME IN THE BLOODY EYES WHEN FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. I swear, I'm going to become blind one day, and have to use Edward as my personal feeling- stuff- to- get- around coach. Heehee. Means more of feeling him. I can just imagine...

(Inside thoughts:)

'O O, I know this one...it's an apple! Right?'

'Correct! Now, what are these?'

(Starts feeling about) 'Umm, almonds?'

'Correct again! Now, what about this?'

'Umm, is that a...BANANA?'

'Um, Bella, you might wanna take your hands of that!'

'Of what? Isn't that the squishy old banana that used to be in that fruit bowl thingy before I became blind?'

'NO! IT'S MY BANANA!'

(End of thoughts)

Hahaha, very bad mental image there people. Ok, moving on. Now where was I? Right, I brushed my teeth, took a shower and whizzed downstairs for breakky, (Just incase I didn't fall down the stairs, I slipped down the railing with my ass). I walked into the kitchen to be greeted by Edward. God, now everytime I see him, I'm going to have to be reminded by the awfull mental image incident this morning. Le sigh.

''Morning Bella darling...'' he greeted me with a smile.

''Morning Edward angel...'' I mimicked.

''Bella...'' he said in a warning tone at my previous remark at having a go to try and mimick him.

''Sorry Edward, but I unfortunatly just found out this morning that I am diagnosed with MVS,'' I said in a more serious tone, putting on an act, trying to scare him. He looked scared and worried for amoment then asked,

''What's THAT?''

''Oh, it's just Mimicking Vampires Syndrome.'' I said seriously again. Realization slowly dawned upon his face, and when he FINALLY got it, he burst out into fits off luaghter. Well, not technically BURST just...oh, nevermind.

''Ahaa, I see. Mimicking Vampires Syndrome huh?''

''Yup.'' I replied delighted at the sight of his gorgeous smile.

''Anyways, sit down. I have made this breakfast thinking about you. It's Bella breakfast.''

He brought over to the table I was sat at; a plate with two toasts, fried eggs and he placed beside that butter and jam and a glass of orange juice.

I stared at the plate. Then at Edward (who was looking at me confused) Then at the plate. Then at Edward.

''Ok, so I remind you of eggs and toast?''

''Hahahahahaa, no..well-yeh. Your eyes are like eggs, and your as dry as toast.''

Now it was my turn to look confused. ''Really?'' I asked in an almost guilty voice (for mimciking him).

''Well yes. Did you know I have SPRMOFS?''

''And that's ment to be?'' I asked, knowing he was getting his own back at me.

''Some People Remind Me Of Food Syndrome.'' He burst out laughing again. I just sat there blushing.

''I'm only joking darling,'' he continued ''but, I wouldn't mine you as my food some time you know...I'd like a bite of you some time.''

I blushed even more. I then dug in to my breakfast. He just sat there opposite me staring at me wide eyed.

''What,'' I asked, mouth full.

''Hey, didn't you ever learn that you must CHEW your food first before talking?'' He said sarcastically.

''No, I didn't actually.'' I replied jokingly, sticking out my tongue full off food to him. He turned his head around in disgust. How mature, I know.

Anywhoos, I carried on munching on my breakfast ike nothing just happend. And, he just carried on staring at me like nothing happend.

I'm a slow eater. (coughrandomcough)

''So, you like jam and butterd toast huh?'' Edward suddenly asked me out of nowhere.

''What?'' I asked flabbergasted but continued munching on my breakkie anyways.

''I mean, you seem to be eating it like it's the biggest passion in your life...I don't just the way you eat it makes it seem so...delicous.''

I blushed.

''Can I try some?'' He asked.

My eyes bulged out in surprise, and nearly choked on my food, ''WHAT!''

''I asked If I could try some.'' He repeated again.

''Um, Edward, are you forgetting that you um...can't technically eat, cos you're a blood sucking VAMPIRE?''

''Yeh, so. I've had food before whilst I was a vampire-''

''What? Really?''

''Well, that was out of habit a few days after I was transformed.''

''Yeh, well that was like 97 years ago or sumthin,'' I said.

''Soo. I still ate,'' he said.

''Fine. But, don't you know how jam tastes like?''

''Well, I remember I used to love jam when I was a kid, but now, I haven't had it in ages, and am starting to forget the taste of it.''

Sorry, but I HAD to laugh at that one. Hhahahahahaha. He just stared at me.

''Sorry sorry, I am. Really. It just sounded funny...the way you said that,'' I looked at him, ''so, you want some jam or not?''

He nodded like a little kis, ''Aww, you are so sweet when you want something.'' I really ment it. And pinched his cheek like he were some kid or sumthin. Actually, I'm the kid here. He is like 97. I am 17. Well, he still LOOKS 17, but..anyways.

So, I got up, took a spoo outta the draw, and scooped out a small mouthfull of strawberry jam from the jar. I then slipped it into his mouth. The minute the sticky, sweet smelling, bloody red, lumpy jam touched his mouth he moaned in delight.

His eyes opend wide, and his lips slowly formed the shape of a crest.

''You like?'' I asked.

''Mmm, that is the most delicous thing I have had since I died.''

''Even more delicous than blood?'' I asked.

''Definatly.''

And so, the day went by and again it was time for bed, then waking up. Again. (Gets popcorn thrown at head from audience. A bold Person shouts :Hey, you. Me:ME? Bold Man: Yes you. Quite the bullshit Miss Narrator person- Me: Actually, I DO have a name you know- Bold Man: I dont care. Just stop talking ok? Me: Blushes like mad

Another morning. Another step to being blinded by the sun. Hurrah!(Mentally calculates) That makes it 156 days until I can finally be blind and have Edward as my feeling couch. Woo!

I do my usual morning stuff, and this time actually ROLL down the stairs. Wonder why? Yeh, I tripped, and went tumbling down. How come Edward didn't come and save me. Humph.

Anywhoos, as I made my way into the kitchen, I HAD to stop. I mean, like ABRUPTLY. And, with a mischevious grin on my face, I slowly started tip-toeing my way behing Edwards back. And then, I would scare him. Mwahahahahaha.

But, as I got closer, I was expecting him to be frying something or cooking, but I didn't smell anything or hear any frying, just...licking and slurrping. WTF?

I then stopped my tip toeing, and with a serious look of concern on my face (I could feel it haaha) I placed my hand on his shoulder, and at that reaction, Edward turned around (KInd off flinched actually) Jumping back pressing himself against the counters. But, to my dismay he was NOT frying eggs, or making me something which reminded me of him. BUT, he had JAM smeared all over his mouth, and hands, and on the counter. He looked at me like a 2 year old kid caught doing something bad. Hhaaha, he looked so funny.

''Edward-What's wrong with you?What's with the...jam?'' I said half laughing.

He just stared at me like a weirdo.

He looked down at the jam jar, and held it close to his chest rubbing it ,''My preciouuusss.'' Um, Gollum L.O.T.R's much? (LOTR means Lord Of The Rings)

''Edward, are you allright?'' I asked as I picked up a gingerbread from the cookie jar. I smelled it (a habit I have) and took a bite of it's head.

''Yes, ofcourse I'm allright. I just...have...a...jam, fetish.'' Hah, Jam fetish? Where have I heard THAT one before.

''Mmmm, okay then.'' I replied, walking back upstairs to mine and Edward's room, picking up my school bag and leaving the house. BELLA HAS LEFT THE HOUSE. (Big Brother voice over.)

(Camera zooms in Edwards wide eyed hugging jam jar form) Dndndndndndn

To be continued...

Buhahaha. Man, I'm sorry, I just had that wacky idea in my head before I fell asleep in Physics class, and I started luaghing like a mad man at the idea, so I was sent out after...(pouts)

R&R people...if you want the sequel to this, which is called: The comeback of the gingerbread man! Mwahahahahaha.