I tried to write this in LBD script format, which I hope is allowed on . I can't really do Ashley and Julia justice ito description of expressions, so a lot is left to the reader's imagination. I love Annie-kins as a dog, so this story was born out of that. J I don't own the characters or format; just a fan imagining Darcy and Lizzie's "epic adventures together". Set as Episode 59, coz I can't wait for Monday.

Lizzie: Happy Monday viewers! Although, technically it's Sunday evening as I film this. Whatever. I'm not sure how I got roped into it but... My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I just beat William "My sister is a nationally-ranked tennis player" Darcy in a tennis match. Pwned.

[Opening credits.]

Lizzie: Although to be fair, he might have let me win... Misogynistic douche.

So, Catherine decided that in order to properly judge my life skills, she had to see me play tennis. Catherine presided over the court like a queen. Her tennis court, that is. She has two courts at her compound. She ordered Darcy to partner me.

I don't think she was actually watching me play. She kept on complimenting Darcy on his dunking when he served. And she brought Annie-kins, who was being the cutest poochie ever and getting her adorable drool all over the tennis ball. Yes; apparently in addition to scratching herself bloody, Annie can fit her tiny jaw around a tennis ball. It was kind of annoying but also hilarious in a viral video kinda way. I sort of wish I'd got a shot of it. A camera shot, that is. And Catherine! She kept on going on about how if Annie were human, she'd be a brilliant tennis player. Um... Right.

Charlotte: And your conversation with Darcy?

Lizzie: (humphs) I don't want to talk about him. After what he did Wickham, and Jane.

Charlotte: But your viewers...

Lizzie: (hesitation) Fine. (Lizzie smiles slowly)

[Cut to next scene, Charlotte holding tennis racquet and script, and Lizzie in Darcy hat and bowtie.]

Lizzie (as Darcy): Which side of the court would you prefer, Lizzie? I know Gigi always prefers the breeze blowing from behind her. And evidently you'll need all the help you can get.

Charlotte: Hem.

Lizzie: Fine. He didn't say the last sentence. But his eyes did!

Charlotte (as Lizzie): I know you want intimidate me, because your sister plays so well. But I love a challenge, so bring it.

Lizzie (as Darcy): Once again, you're wilfully misunderstanding me. Because I'm the epitome of arrogant chivalry.

Charlotte: Did his eyes say that too?

Lizzie: Yes. (small voice) Okay no.

Charlotte (back on script as Lizzie): I'll take the north side.

Lizzie (as Darcy): I'm not good at making conversation.

Charlotte (as Lizzie): Evidenced by that kind of random statement. I'm not that great at tennis, but I assume it's because I don't practise enough.

Lizzie starts to remove the bowtie.

Charlotte: Wait, we're not done. What about the other stuff he said to you when you were waiting around after Annie got the ball stuck in her jaw?

Lizzie: That? It wasn't that interesting. There were pitiful attempts from him to try to start a conversation about the weather. (Pause). Do you think he let me win?

Charlotte: Maybe he was trying to be nice.

Lizzie: Misogynist.

Charlotte: He was polite when he complimented your playing.

Lizzie: Please, that was all just phatic.

Charlotte: At least he does phatics now. It's an improvement, right?

Lizzie: I'm sorry Charlotte, are you talking up Darcy? What's the point of that? Miss de Bourgh has practically arranged his marriage to Caroline.

Charlotte chooses not to say anything to that.

Lizzie: Anyway. (Strange look at Charlotte). Tune in next time for our Hallowe'en costumes!

Anyone else picturing Michael Aranda as Darcy :-P