Umm well my bucket list number 12 said to rewrite one of my favorite books in a series, and if anyone is out there at all enjoy my version of Mockingjay the third book of The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzane Collins.
I wake up screaming, knowing it was all a nightmare. I will never be able to sleep again without nightmares ever again in my life, not unless Peeta can hug me and he's gone just like my home and my all my hope of being who I was before. A survivor. The girl who volunteered for her sister at the 74th hunger games reaping in this world I am the wanted one, their Mockingjay but they've put me into a position I don't want and haven't accepted.
I never thought this could come to my mind but I'm weak. I haven't step out of bed since Haymitch told me that Peeta was being held by the capitol. I mean what is there in life, my sister and mother have food and clothes, little Prim is even studying to become a doctor and my love life is a mess. Now that Peeta isn't with me I realize how much I need him to stay alive, at least to stay in my right mind. I miss the boy with the bread whose kisses would leave me hungry for more, and thought I was wonderful no matter what, I was so stupid and greedy to not enjoy his love and take his loyalty for granted.
Why did I have to be the one going through this.
"Catnip?" Gale says quietly. His words let me forget about my painful thoughts for the minute. I haven't since Gale since I was rescued from the Quarter Quell arena and I am mad at him and thankful for saving my family's life in the bombing but he also has been ignoring me for the last few weeks.
I heard your scream, are you okay" of course I'm not, what a stupid question he knows me better than anyone I think to myself, and give him the silent treatment.
He lays down next to me, hugging me. He turns me around and kisses me, slowly but holds me tightly. He is still holding me but stopped the kiss and I say "You can't pretend that Peeta doesn't exist anymore, Gale".
"No. But you can't pretend you don't have feelings for me". Gale is right, I love him and Peeta both and he knows it but he is pressuring me to choose which is something I'm not ready for because I can't control my feelings. I don't know what to do but let go of him and walk out of the room, so I do. If only we can go back to friends, best friends another thing that the Capitol and its Hunger Games ruined for me. The thing is that he hasn't given up on me so he does truly love me. I can't live without him, neither can I love him without knowing what Peeta and I are to each other. Gale has always been there for me but Peeta is just a permanent part of my life even if I try to forget him.
I am brought back to Earth from my thoughts by someone walking down the hallway. Turns out to be a something an ugly something. Buttercup. He looks at me with sad eyes as if he meant to find me because his hurt just like Peeta. Now the pain returns, and doesn't leave for hours until I see Haymitch with his bottle, as always.
I realize it morning. Early. "Sweetheart why don't you go get all pretty, today we're going to get some screenshots of you in your Mockingjay and you can't look like that if you show up" he says pointing at me.
Of course I forgot it's thursday and screenshots are scheduled not that I care since I always skip them for writing. For some reason, I write my feelings no but like a diary, just poetry and I'm good at it but all them just include sadness of my life and nightmares that turn into reality as time goes by.
Haymitch has already left, but comes back and tosses me the Mockingjay outfit which Cinna designed and was killed for just because of expressing his feelings, by the Capitol my worst enemy.
I get up and grab my Mockingjay outfit then head to my room where I find an empty bed. So I just place the outfit on top of the bed then grab my notebook which contains all my poetry and a wooden pencil with a sparkling fire design made by Cinna for me before his death. Once I have these two things I zone out. I liked what I wrote.
Mockingjay, Mockingjay
Sing us your song
Mockingjay, Mockingjay
You've been confused for so long
Mockingjay, they kept you in a cage
Mockingjay, I understand your rage
But you are the Mockingjay
Free in your own right
You'll forever be the Mockingjay
Our hope; our guiding light
Do you know of the Mockingjay?
The Capitol's happy mistake
You are the Mockingjay
Used by people who take and take
Mockingjay, Mockingjay
Sing us your song
Mockingjay, Mockingjay
You've been used for too long
Ten minutes pass when Finnick steps in and says "What's up sugar", he has become like the brother I never had in this time of loneliness.
"You need to get in the mockingjay outfit and now" he says.
"No I don't" I icily respond to him. He slides his finger over my pin and tells me "If you want to end the times of the Capitol's ruling you need to be their mockingjay."
I roll my eyes and sigh, the Capitol has too much power and the rebellion has fire as their leader, were the ones getting burned not the Capitol so what's the use.
He continues, "District thirteen has a strict ruler, Theo, and he won't have enough patience for you to make a decision either to help them or not and he has enough power to hurt you, but he knows that won't break you and we all know you need Peeta by your side so Theo offered if you show up he will get back Peeta, Johanna, and my Annie"
I jump of excitement. This seems to be the happiest I've been in a year. Then I remember that nothing ever goes right in my life but I have to try so I jump and tell Finnick "Sugar needs to change"
"So now you like my nickname" he says dropping something from his palms to my bed as he makes his way through the door.
I see Finnick dropped a small neatly folded paper. As I unfold it it shapes into an envelope. Dried blood is in it corner and along is the letters Peeta spread across the back of the envelope a tear slowly slips my eye.
So that's the first chapter I hope if someone read it liked it and if you are reading this please let me know because really im only doing this because i have a thing for writing and would like to hear from others of what they think of my writing so plizz plizz review to know if i have an audience to write this for. Also I would like to give credits to "WeDidItForTheDead" for her wonderful poetry and she is a great writer. and i know this chapter is short but it the first one so there will be more details and things going on in the next chapters.