Soul Calibur News
disclaimer: do not own Sc.
Taki: We're on air! We're on air!
Tira: Guys, We're on air!
Raphael: ...Huh?...Oh...Heh..heh...sorry 'bout that.
(Setsuka nudges Raph under the table)
Raphael: ...Hi, I'm Raphael Sorel.
Setsuka: And I'm Setsuka.
R & S: And this is the news.
Setsuka: So what are today's topics, Raph?
Raphael: Well, today, there has been a-
(Raph is interrupted by Kilik chasing Maxi with his Bo Staff high in the air. They run right across the screen. Setsuka looks at them and starts laughing.)
Kilik: You will die today, Maxi!
Maxi: Why don't you just go snog Xianghua?
Kilik: What the-
(Setsuka walks over to the camera)
Setsuka: uh...We'll be back after these messages...heh..heh...
AFTER THE CAMERA IS TURNED OFF
Raphael: Kilik, Maxi! What the fuck are you doing!
Setsuka: You just ruined the news!
(Taki and Tira walk over)
Taki: What the hell is going on?
Tira: Can't you bum each other outside? We're trying to do the news here!
Maxi: Why would I be bumming Kilik? I'm not gay!
Kilik: Yes you are! I saw you with-
Maxi: Shut up! Shut up! You wanna bum Xianghua and Raphael!
Tira: Just go outside.
(Taki ushers a mumbling Kilik and Maxi outside)
Taki: Okay, lets try again!
ON AIR
Raph: Hi, I'm Raphael Sorel.
Setsuka: And I'm Setsuka.
R & S: And this is the news.
Setsuka: (Mumbling) ...for the second time...
Raph: What was that, Setsuka? You were going to ask what today's topic's were?
Setsuka: ...errr...Yeah...So, Raph, what are today's topics?
Raph: Glad you asked, Setsuka. Today there has been an earthquake in-
Raph: (Whispering) Setsuka! What's that place called where Talim lives?
Setsuka: (Whispering) India, you fool!
Raph: Right. Today there has been an earthquake in India. In the village of the wind deity.
Setsuka: We have a video.
Raph: Um...guys...roll the video!
(Its the wrong video, a video of Talim and Yunsung kissing and stuff. In the background you can hear Maxi and Xianghua shouting: "Whoooooooo!" )
Raph: (Having a hissy fit) Its the fucking wrong video! You fucking losers!
(Talim comes in and knocks the table over.)
Talim: (Angry as hell) Okay, where is it!
Setsuka: What, Talim?
Talim: The frickin' video, what else!
(Talim throws a few chairs)
Talim: Give me the fucking video!
Setsuka: It's backstage, you Baka! Taki and Tira are rolling it!
Talim: Fine, I'm going!
(Talim exits but on the way she uses her elbow blades to smash the camera)
Raph: We don't even have a camera now.
Setsuka: (Whispering to him) We've still got one for the weather.
Setsuka: On with the weather! ...heh...heh...
THE WEATHER
Yunsung: Hello, I am Hong Yunsung and this is the weather.
Today it will bright and sunny so turn the TV off right now and go get a sun tan!
Taki: (in the distance) And...Cut!
(Taki walks in and puts her hand on Yun's shoulder.)
Taki: Well done Yunsung!
Taki: (Gives Setsuka and Raph evil look) Well done indeed! You managed to not screw up! Not like other people I could mention...
(Seung Mina chases Kilik round and round)
Seung Mina: Leave Maxi alone! Just because you do love Xianghua! Admit it!
(Seung Mina hits Maxi with Scarlet Thunder. They start fighting)
Taki: (Walking away) This is gonna take a while...