Sometimes I Wish She Was You
Disclaimer: Nope, unfortunately I'm not J.K. Rowling, nor do I own Harry Potter (though, I wish I did). The song, Lips of an Angel belongs to Hinder.
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The rain was pouring down heavily on the roof as Harry sat doing his Auror work. He had only graduated from school a year ago, so he was now eighteen. Obviously, he was an Auror, just like he always wanted to be. He lived in a small flat in London with Ginny, who was fast asleep. Harry often sat awake at night, either doing Auror work, or just thinking. Of his decisions. Of her.
Knock knock! Harry shook his head and rubbed his eyes. He was imagining things. Who on Earth would knock on his door at this late hour? Unless...no, he shook his head again. He only heard that knock because he was thinking of her, it wasn't real.
Knock knock! There it went again, only a little louder this time. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming and then slowly stood up, walking towards the door. He slowly pulled it open to find Hermione Granger standing on the other side, soaking wet with rain.
Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud
"Hermione!" he gasped. "What are you doing here? You're soaked! Come in!"
He held the door open wider for her. She stepped inside, dripping all over the carpet as he shut the door. He found a towel and wrapped it around her. He examined her face closely and saw that not only raindrops were making it look wet, there were tears there, too. He eyes were slightly red and teary, but he had never seen her look more beautiful.
"I'll go find you some clothes, okay?" he said quietly as she nodded.
He went into his room and grabbed a sweater. His jeans would never fit her so he got a pair of Ginny's.
"Here you go." he said, pressing the clothes into her hands and steering her towards the bathroom.
She came out a minute later, for the most part, dry. The tear tracks on her face still remained. He smiled at the sight of her in his overlarge sweater.
"Would you like some hot cocoa?" he asked.
She nodded. "That would be lovely."
Finally, when the cocoa was done, he handed her the warm mug and they sat down on the sofa in front of the warm fire.
"Thank you, Harry." she smiled thankfully.
"Don't mention it." he watched he lower her gaze to her clasped hands in her lap.
He took this chance to observe her face. There were tear tracks across her cheeks and unshed tears in her eyes. He eyes lashes were wet and he could see a few tears and raindrops clinging to them. She looked so innocent and sweet sitting there like that, he just wanted to...he shook his head. 'No, Harry. Stop. You're with Ginny now. You love her, not Hermione.'
He put a finger under her chin so her brown eyes met his.
"Why did you come here?" he asked softly. He didn't say it like she was unwelcome, he said it as though he cared.
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
"I-I...I wanted to see you."
He frowned slightly. "Really? Is that the truth?"
She lowered her gaze again and nodded. "Where's Ginny?" she asked, clearly trying to change the subject.
"Sleeping." he sighed, nodding towards her door. "We should be quiet. She's not really a heavy sleeper."
"Harry?" she said.
Oh Merlin, he loved the way she said his name in her sweet voice. "Yes?"
She paused for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?"
"I-I...I came here at one o'clock...it was pouring with rain, you had to warm me up and everything. I'm just...I dunno. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I'm probably disturbing you." she trailed off. Harry could tell she was close to tears, though he didn't know why.
"Shh. Don't be sorry. I like it when you're with me." he said truthfully, blushing.
It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight?
No, I don't think she has a clue
There was a bit of an awkward silence after that. This, more then anything, was a mark of how much everything had changed. These awkward silences never existed until after they...he shook his head. He tried not to think back on those broken memories that could never be repaired. He felt so calm in her soothing presence. He loved seeing her, when all he had left were crushed dreams of the past. He dreamed of her every night, and right now, with her sitting there with him, everything seemed so surreal.
"Does Ron know you're here?" he asked.
"No." she replied quietly, a guilty look on her face.
Harry glanced at the door to Ginny's room, he hoped she was fast asleep...if she saw him and Hermione like this, it wouldn't be pretty. He looked back at Hermione who's tears were hard to ignore now.
"Hermione, why are you crying?" he asked gently.
She looked up at him, eyes brimming with tears. "Harry." she said his name again and he had to try hard to control that impulse of kissing her right then and there. 'Ginny, Ginny, Ginny.' said the voice in his head. 'You wish Ginny was her. Always. Don't deny it, you know it's true.' another one argued. He ignored them. He had to remain faithful to Ginny, but Merlin, it was so hard with Hermione right there in front of him. Just him and her, alone. What Ginny wouldn't know wouldn't hurt her. He forcefully wrenched himself away from his thoughts.
"What's wrong? Is it Ron? Did you have a fight?" he asked. He knew they fought quite often, though it lessened now they were living together, but she came to him a lot when that happened.
She shook her head and he watched her curls bounce slightly. "No."
"Then why? You can tell me, you know, even if it's something ridiculous. I won't laugh."
"It's not ridiculous...at least I don't think so. I was just...remembering."
Realization hit him and he suddenly understood why she came here in the pouring rain at one o'clock in the morning. She wanted to talk to him about the past. How they were together...and happy.
Her eyes met his and he could practically feel the emotion in them. Remorse, regret...was that longing?
"Harry," she said his name almost desperately, "do you remember?" the raw emotion in her voice made him want to turn away. He hated how he was the one causing her all this pain.
He chose his words carefully; he didn't want to hurt her. However, his words were coming out of his mouth without him having any control over them. He wanted to be kind to her, but he wanted to remain loyal to Ginny at the same time, which he was having an extremely hard time doing.
"Of course I remember...how could I forget all that...that raptured bliss?"
Her eyes bore into his once more and before he knew what was happening, she flung himself herself on him and buried her face in his shoulder. He could feel her body body shaking with sobs. He wanted to wrap his own arms around her, feel the warmth of her in his arms...but he knew that if he did, he would never be able to let go. His desires took over and he held her tightly against himself.
"Harry, Harry, Harry." she cried wretchedly over and over again. He could feel her tears wetting his shoulder, but he didn't care. Oh Merlin, he loved this girl. Why did he choose Ginny over her? Why couldn't they have just made up? But they didn't, and that changed everything.
"Harry, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I shouldn't of done what I did...it was such a huge mistake. I can't tell you how much I regret it now. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she whispered.
"Shh...it's alright." he said stroking her hair, remembering the incident she was talking about. He remembered walking into the Common Room to find her kissing Ron, to find she betrayed him. After that they just sort of fell apart. When they finally talked it out, they agreed that it would be better if she just stayed with Ron and he stayed with Ginny. How wrong they both were.
She pulled back from him too soon. He cherished her warmth, he hated to let it go.
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
"Harry." she stroked his hair out of his eyes. There, she said it again. He could listen to her saying his name forever. He loved the way it sounded in her sweet voice.
Unable to control himself, he came closer to her, but Hermione gently pushed him away. "Harry, no." he said weakly. "Ron and Ginny, they..." she trailed off weakly. But she, too, couldn't deny that she wanted to kiss him just as much as he wanted to kiss her.
"Shh." he put a finger on his lips. "Just for tonight. Let's just pretend." he whispered.
He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to her own. He savored her sweet caramel taste, one of the things he missed about her every single night. His knees felt weak, and her taste was intoxicating. He just wanted to loose himself in her, he never wanted this moment to end. Magic pulsed through his body like no spell could ever have caused. He felt her run her fingers through his hair and he wrapped her arms around her waist. After what seemed like and eternity of bliss, Hermione pulled away from him. The tears and guilt were clear in her eyes, but she was smiling softly at the same time.
"Harry, this never happened." she whispered.
He nodded, unable to speak. This moment would never be spoken of to anyone, it was between him and her, and them alone. He wanted nothing more to go back and kiss her again, but it was over now. He would never taste her sweet caramel again, never fell her fingers running through his hair. It would all be cherished, but would never happen again, for it was too late to turn back now. They both belonged to someone else.
"I'm sorry." he whispered.
She smiled sadly and kissed him, but before he could kiss her back, she pulled away.
"Don't be." she whispered back. She went to the kitchen and put the empty mug in the sink and then headed towards the door. Harry followed her, never wanting her to leave.
"Do you mind if I give this back to you next time?" she asked, tugging at the sweater she was wearing.
"That's fine." he replied.
"I'll see you around, Harry." she smiled and gave him a warm hug.
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
He nodded, savoring her warmth. When she had pulled back, he pulled the door open. He watched as she walked to the end of the block. He loved that girl, more then she could ever know. But he belonged to Ginny now, and that's how it would stay. He missed her so much, but it was too late now. Their mistakes had already been made.
Honey why you calling me so late?
'Sometimes I wish she was you, Hermione.' he thought as he watched her disappear with a crack. He smiled sadly with regret.
'Sometimes I wish she was you.'
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Author's Note: When I first heard this song, I just had to do a fic for it. Something about it just really inspired me to write this. I hope I did it justice. I'm pretty happy with the way this one turned out, even if it did have a bit of a sad ending. I hope you liked it as much as I did writing it! If you have any constructive criticism, suggestions, etc. then...
Please Review!