3:00 AM
I looked around, noticing that I couldn't move a muscle – just my own eyeballs. I managed to take a peek at the clock: 2:59am. Hope this works, I thought, and closed my eyes.
The radio almost immediately followed and turned on. Turning around, I could now see it was 3:00am. Normally, I sleep all the way through the night, but when I wake up in the middle, I find it difficult to return.
I got up and pressed the off button on the radio. BZZT! There was a loud buzzing noise, and the radio was still on. I tried pressing the off button again. BZZT! And again with the buzzing noise! There was definitely something screwy going on, but I didn't have the patience to deal with it right now.
Instead, I just left the radio on and splashed some water on my face in the bathroom. No chance of getting back to sleep now!
I went back to the radio, which was just playing on of those overplayed songs on one of those Top 40 stations. Carly Rae Jepson, I believe? I couldn't really take much more and just decided to unplug the cord. The song continued. It wasn't even possible! The radio was just an outlet clock radio! No slot for batteries or anything! No power means no music, yet…somehow, the radio remained on. Carly Rae's "Call Me Maybe" was right about one thing: this WAS crazy!
I knew that there was only one entity powerful enough to give me my answers. I grabbed my laptop so I could use Google. Strange. My laptop was already on. I was certain that I had turned it off last night. I opened the laptop up and pressed the power on button. Jumping out of my chair, I gazed upon what my computer screen was now showing.
I had been a Brony (a fan of the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) for about two years now and I knew exactly who was on my screen. It was the joyful and playful pink pony Pinkie Pie. But this wasn't just any Pinkie Pie, no. This was ZALGO Pinkie Pie from Luna Game! Luna Game was an anonymously developed game that features different horrifying pictures of ponies from the show where they have been severely mutilated and appear abruptly when you're least expecting. Zalgo Pinkie Pie was Pinkie Pie, only with pitch-black bloody eyes, and a face so creepy like it wanted to murder you.
I had now had my eyes closed for a few seconds and looked back at the computer screen. She was gone. The background was still there but Zalgo Pinkie Pie was missing. "hI tHeRe!" I heard Pinkie Pie say, only it sounded very distorted. I turned around and sure enough, she was there. Standing right behind me, Zalgo Pinkie Pie shook her head furiously, causing the blood in her eyes to splatter all over the room and myself. I heard the radio again and it suddenly got louder. Zalgo Pinkie Pie was holding it right above my head! And for some reason, it looked a lot…bigger. As if it could knock me out. She threw it down as hard as she could while I shrieked in terror, trying to get my hands in front of my face in time.
My eyes were closed and I still didn't feel anything. Very slowly, I opened one eye, just a bit, and noticed that Zalgo Pinkie Pie was no longer with me. I looked at the radio. It had missed! It was right next to me and I could see the time that made no sense. Still 3:00am! I knew for a fact that it had been way longer than even five minutes, but the clock was telling me that it had been less than 60 seconds! Maybe I just needed a shower, or something, to calm down.
I tried to get up but realized I couldn't. My whole body was stuck! That's when it hit me. Sleep paralysis. I tried to remember my last birthday party. Nothing. I couldn't remember anything! Well, except for how to walk and talk of course. Now I knew for sure. None of this was real! It was all a dream! I had to have attempted W.I.L.D., or Wake Induced Lucid Dreaming, the process of being awake when you're asleep. In other words, I was trying to control my dream, but…it obviously didn't work. Until now that is.
I knew this was a dream so I could control it. No longer bound by the forces of sleep paralysis, I flew around my house. I could change every aspect of my surrounding. Suddenly, I was at the mall. Then a restaurant! Then China! I was free. But naturally, it was too good to be true.
I heard my radio again. "Call Me Maybe" was still playing. In the hour or so that I had experienced in my dream, I had spent less than a minute in the real world. I watched, as my dream was getting darker. It was fading away into oblivion. Taking one final glance at the amazing world of lucid dreaming that I had achieved, I stretched and took a big yawn, slowly opening my eyes.
For a few moments, I could see a mix of the dream world and real world, but alas, it was just my imagination running wild. I was now fully awake. I turned around and looked at the clock. 3:01am. I let out a sigh and got up, walked over to the radio, and pressed the off button. I no longer heard music. This was all a great experience but a very tiring one as well. Maybe my dream brain did have a good idea. Maybe all I did need was a shower right now.
I headed to the bathroom, turned on the water, and stepped in. I closed my eyes and let the water run down my face for a while until I got tired. I shook the water off my face and opened my eyes. You'd never believe what I saw standing right in front of me.