Yo! Back with something i've never done before. A double-sided story told in Toshiro and Momo's perspective. Same story, different points of views. This is a two-shot. A story about how the relationship between Momo and Hitsugaya changed over the years since becoming shinigami.

I apologize to all you extreme HitsuHina fans, but this is NOT the place for you if you can't stand HitsuMatsu. I just thought i'd warn you, now is the time to leave if you don't like HitsuMatsu. If you're okay with it, welcome! Of course I know all my usual readers will stay and enjoy. ^^ My usual readers rock!

And once again, Matsumoto VERY briefly played virgin in this story, for reasons written in my other story "Incredible Love". An important note is that the main couple is indeed HitsuMatsu, there is no HitsuHina. In a way, this story could actually be a spin-off from Incredible Love. If you think about it, the two could be connected. I'm not sure really. Enjoy!!!

Jealousy Ridden Eyes

Chapter 1

Momo's Reflection

I stare into the mirror. Trying to find me in the reflection, but all I see is a strange girl, who looks like me but isn't me at all. The real me would've said something sooner. Would've acted sooner. Would've gotten her feelings and thoughts across. Not waited until it was too late.

"I love her..." Those words echo in my ears. They won't leave me alone. And each time I hear them they cause my heart to break into more pieces. They cause the tears to reappear at the corners of my eyes. They cause me to drown in my own sorrow. I thought I had known what I wanted when I became a shinigami, I thought I would go to any lengths to get it. But now I realize that I didn't know what I wanted at all back then. And when I finally did know, it was too late to obtain it.

For he had already been taken.

"I love her Hinamori..." Those words reappeared in my ears, and caused a small sob to escape me. I was grateful to be alone at this time, I wouldn't want to cause a panic on a day like this. Though some part of me in the back of my mind wished for something - anything - to ruin the event about to take place. The rest of me hated that part for thinking such cruel thoughts. It was my own fault this happened anyway.

I don't see why they asked me to be a bridesmaid, I was against this the whole time, and still am. I know I should be happy at a wedding, but I can't muster up the strength to even smile about this. Maybe I was just being selfish because it wasn't me as his bride. The bride he's stuck with doesn't deserve a man as great as him. It should've been me as his bride! He should've found someone better. Why her of all people? What could he possibly see in her?!

She was never supposed to take that spot in his heart that was meant for me. She was just his subordinate, a person meant to take orders and watch his back in battle. She was never meant to be more than that! She's nothing but a lazy, drunk, selfish, thieving whore!

A gasp escaped my lips as I realized what I was saying. I was being unfair, and completely selfish, in saying all those things about her. I know she's not really a whore, quite the opposite. At times she can be selfish, and at times she can be lazy, and she does tend to get drunk a lot... But I know there's more good things than bad. She's beautiful, smart, funny, she fights for what she believes, she's helpful... The list can go on. She's everything I'm not...

That's just the kind of person Rangiku-chan is... And I'm sure that's what Toshiro loves about her...

Yes, today is Rangiku and Toshiro's wedding. And I get the honor of being a bridesmaid. Nanao-san is the maid of honor, while me, Inoue-san, Kuchiki-san, and Kotetsu-san are the regular bridesmaids. They were in here just a little while ago, all looking beautiful. We all wore the same dress except for Nanao-san, hers was yellow instead of pink like ours. I've never been one to wear pink, but Tobiume loves it, she said it looked good on me.

But Rangiku-chan, she was the most beautiful. Of course she's supposed to be. It would be an insult if the maids were prettier than the bride. But I couldn't help but stare as Inoue-san and Nanao-san helped her get dressed earlier. She looked so happy as she stared at herself in the mirror. Part of me couldn't help but think of this exact same scenario, the only difference is it would be me in Rangiku-chan's place.

No one else in this room knew what I was feeling, they were all concentrating on the wedding and getting the bride ready. Nobody once noticed my hurt-filled eyes, or the way I'd cry a few tears as I remembered that Toshiro would be lost to me forever after today. And that he'd permanently belong to her. I was almost invisible. The only person who understood my feelings... was Toshiro himself. He knew because I had confronted him about this, not so long ago, when they had first gotten engaged...

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I went to his office one night. It was only yesterday that he proposed to her. How could he do this to me?! How could he tie himself down to another woman like that?! I thought he would wait for me! How could he betray me?! I felt the tears in my eyes as I stormed to his office. I opened the door and stomped in, slamming in shut once I was inside.

Just as I thought, he was at his desk, and no Matsumoto in sight. His head snapped up as I made my entrance.

"Hinamori, what're you doing here at this hour? What's wrong?" "How could you?!" I demanded, ignoring his question. He raised a brow. "How could I? Did I commit some crime I don't remember doing?" He asked. "Don't play dumb! How could you propose to her?!" He stared at me before sighing.

"It's easy, I got a ring, got down on one knee and said 'Will you marry me?'" "Not HOW you proposed! How could you do this to me?!" "I don't see how my engagement with Rangiku effects you Hinamori." "Of course it effects me! I thought you loved me!" "I do love you. You're like a sister to me." Those words hit me hard, was that all I was to him now?

"What exactly is the problem?" He asked. "The problem? You want to know the problem?! You're getting married!" I shouted, not caring who heard me outside. "And just how is that a problem? I thought you would be happy for me." He said, his tone changing from calm, to rising anger. "I would be happy for you, if you had chosen a better person to be your wife!" That did it, he stood abruptly from his chair an pounded his fists onto the desk, several papers slipping off and flinging in all directions.

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" He demanded angrily. I did not falter. I stood my ground. "It means out of all the women in the Seireitei, why did you pick her?! She's probably using you!" "Don't go there Momo." He warned. But I kept going. "How can you love someone like her? She's probably had every man in Soul Society in her bed at least once-" "SHUT UP DAMMIT!!!" I flinched and my teary eyes widened at the furosity of his shout.

"You don't know a DAMN thing about Rangiku! She's not some filthy whore! For your information I am the only man who's been in her bed!" My breath caught in my throat, and his hands clenched into tight fists. I could see in his eyes he did not regret what he just said. He'd look almost smug if not for the angry expression. I could not believe what I'd heard though, he means to tell me that, after only five months, he and she had...

"Don't you dare talk about her that way. Those rumors were started by jealous fools that got shot down." He said, bitterness in his voice. I had never thought he'd actually direct that tone towards me. "How do you know for sure?" I demanded, for all he knew she was lying. "What about Ichimaru Gi-" "Don't you DARE say that bastard's name in my office!" Again, I flinched.

"That fox-faced bastard never touched her, and never will." He vowed, more to himself than to me. I sniffled. "I... I just want to know why you didn't wait for me... Why you abandoned me..." I whispered, tears spilling faster than ever. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Hinamori, I did wait for you. Longer than I should have actually." My eyes widened, more tears came. "I was there for you when you needed someone. I had helped you get back on your feet. But I never abandoned you. I simply tried to teach you how to walk again. But you still believed in Aizen, and I knew that if I waited for you any longer, you'd begin to think I was his replacement." "No!" I cried. "I would never do that! I love you! And I know you love me too!" I insisted, hoping, praying actually, that my confession had gotten across to him. He sighed again.

"Maybe once upon a time, a long time ago. But the way I saw it, no one but Aizen would do. And I didn't want to be his replacement." "You wouldn't have been! I swear I'm over him! Please believe me! Shiro I truly love you!" I cried harder, the feeling of defeat lurched in my chest.

"Hinamori, I really do appreciate it. Really, I do... But I can't return that love. If you had said that about six months ago, I would've immediately returned them without hesitation. But I'm in love with Rangiku now, and she's the one I want. I still love you of course, as a sister." He said, softly this time, not in the serious tone he had used until now. A sob escaped me.

"How can you be so sure she even really loves you? What if she's just using you to replace Ichi-" "I LOVE HER!!!" Silence filled the room after that outburst. I was frozen where I stood.

"I love her Hinamori... And she loves me... And nothing or no one is going to change my mind. Not even you." I felt myself backing away from him, until my back hit the door, and with blinding speed I opened it and ran away...

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Even after hearing all those things from him, I'm still here. Because he asked me to be. He had asked me when I went back the next morning before Rangiku-chan got there, and apologized. I looked into the mirror once again. This time I really did see me, not a strange girl who looked like me. I know, because the real me is weak, and cries over everything. Becomes a big baby when she doesn't get what she wants. The look in my eyes was so clear, my eyes were jealousy-ridden.

Because the simple fact is that I'm jealous of Rangiku-chan...

She helped him get back on his feet whenever he fell. She was there to comfort him when he tried to hide his sadness. She was always there. Always. It was all it took to make Toshiro fall in love with her. And, to me, who couldn't love him back?

It wasn't fair though. I couldn't be blamed for my state of mind, could I? I wasn't able to be there for him like she was, I needed him to be there for me. But that's where he thought he had become Aizen-Taicho's replacement... And now he's moved on. And I was the only one suffering, I was the only one who didn't get a happily ever after...

Long ago, when I entered the academy, I had been so sure of what I wanted. I had wanted nothing more than to serve under Aizen-Taicho, and earn his praises and, possibly someday, his love. I had worked so hard, done so much... Yet it was all for nothing. I never got the praise I had wanted, never got the love I yearned to experience. Never got the man I thought I had loved with all my soul. I couldn't think straight after waking up in 4th, and learning that I was in recovery from the wound inflicted on me by my own Taicho's zanpakuto. My mind couldn't take the new situation.

For days I grieved over the loss of my Taicho, wishing all the while that this was just a nightmare and soon I'd wake up. But I never woke up, I still lived in that nightmare. The idea of Aizen-Taicho betraying the Soul Society just wouldn't process in my weak, fragile mind.

I was blinded by the glorious illusion I saw, instead of seeing the reality that was thrust into me like Taicho's blade. I slowly became coherent enough to think more properly, and look at the situation that had became while I was unconscious. I learned that I was a fool for believing those pretty lies Taicho had told me. And I was an utter idiot for believing the lie he told me about Toshiro...

Toshiro... He was always there for me before the betrayal. He had been the crutch that helped me stand back on my feet. He slowly became everything Aizen-Taicho was to me and more. However I had refused to believe such things, because my heart still yearned for Aizen-Taicho.

Shiro had always been good to me, and always protected me. But I never had the mental capacity to realize that he did those things for me because he cared for me. More than I had realized. I had always seen him as my kid brother, and I had always assumed he looked at me like his big sister. I know now that I was once again blind. But this time I was blinded by my own foolishness and naive nature. I was completely oblivious to the love that he felt for me, and unconsciously rejected him.

Without knowing it, I had thrown away something I'd found to be what I had really wanted for all these years. But it was too late by the time I realized it.

The day I found out that I loved him, I was so happy. The happiest I'd been since I had learned my Taicho was alive, before he... Almost killed me... I was really happy, memories of Toshiro and our childhood together flooded my mind as I ran to tell him my feelings. Who better than Shiro-chan to be my love?

I reached his office and was about to go in, before I saw them...

Through the crack in the door, I saw him kiss her. Her who was supposed to be nothing more to him than a close friend. A fukutaicho.

Later that day, word spread and it became official. They were in love, and were a couple now. I was heart broken. I couldn't believe this happened to me. I had finally understood what it was I wanted, finally found what was lost in my heart, buried so deep I couldn't see it. And then, by some mad, sick twist of fate, he had unconsciously rejected me. Just like I did to him.

For a while, I believed I was getting what I deserved for trying to kill him, that time when I was stupid and blind. I thought to myself, "They're too different, it won't last long. They'll break up within a month." Boy was I wrong...

Over the course of four months, I watched from the shadows. Watched as they held hands when they walked together. Watched as they went to dinner together almost every night. Watched as they shared passionate kisses, and not even caring who saw them. Watched as he was slowly drifting further and further away from my grasp.

Until he was completely out of my reach.

The moment I heard he had actually proposed to her, after only five months, I knew that it was too late. I had been too late. I had waited too long to tell him my feelings, I had waited too long... If I hadn't been stupid and blind and realized that I loved him sooner, this wouldn't be happening. Well, it would, but I would be the bride. I just couldn't believe how stupid I could really be. And now he was marrying her in five minutes, and would remain out of my reach forever. I felt an odd sense of deja vu.

"Hinamori-chan." My thoughts stopped when Ise-san's voice reached my ears. I turned to face her. "It's time, everyone's ready. Come on." I nodded and she walked on ahead. I sighed heavily. Before grabbing my bouquet, I took one last look at my reflection, before turning my back on it.

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The doors were opened and the flower girls, Nel and Yachiru, were the first to go. Lucky me to be at the front of the line of bridesmaids, I wished I was last, instead of Ise-san. Because I knew that if I was in the back, I'd be right In front of Rangiku. And I can pretend, even for a moment, that the smile I knew he'd direct towards her would be for me...

I was finally given the cue and I took the first step, automatically regretting the day I agreed to be a bridesmaid. My eyes locked onto him when I entered, the line following close behind. I just concentrated on him as I walked down the aisle. His eyes found me, and he did smile. And a magic warmth filled me. I took a last glance before taking my place by the alter. Then the music changed.

And then she came in.

I saw him smile wider as he saw her. His eyes showed the loving glow that wasn't there when he had smiled at me. The warm feeling disappeared completely. And suddenly I felt alone. The minute she stepped in the room, everyone, especially Shiro, smiled. She had that much power, to fill an entire room with smiles.

I stood there, my mind drifting off into space as the ceremony began. Why had I agreed to be here again? I was against this from the very beginning. Why was I here to witness my worst nightmare come true? I suddenly remembered why.

Because he had asked me to...

Even after all the bad things I said to him, all the bad things I said about her, he still asked me to be apart of it. And I suddenly felt better at the fact that he still cared and still loved me. Maybe not the way I wanted, but I suppose I should be grateful. He just wanted me to witness him being happy. Happier than he's been in a long time...

My ears started working again and my heart nearly stopped when I heard, "You may now kiss the bride". My eyes, whether I wanted them to or not, flashed to them. Just in time to see him dip her and kiss her deeply. Erupting cheers from the crowd. I envied her. I knew that this was only the beginning of my pain, and I had no choice but to bear it. Never shall I know what it's like to be in her shoes. Never shall I receive the love and looks he gives her. Because he is hers now, never to be mine.

And forever I shall watch... with jealousy-ridden eyes...

See? What'd i tell you? No HitsuHina. Personally that's the way I like it. But i do apologize to the HitsuHina fans that read this. Anyway, next time is the story from Toshiro's perspective. If i had spelling or grammar errors i apologize, but the keyboard has been sticking lately. Damn thing. *Kicks computer* OW!!! Until next time! Keep reading and reviewing! ^~ (That's a wink in case you don't know emoticons. Lol)

LATERZ!!! SoaringHellButterfly.