Based off my experiences with my newborn niece. OMFG how do you make babies stop crying?! I get the lovely task of watching the tiny blob when my brother and his wife go out, which is becoming a habit nowadays. Not that I don't understand, sometimes mommy and daddy need their alone time together. But seriously, the least they could do is tell me how to make it shut up! My sister's no help at all, she talks on the phone with no end and I get stuck with the crying mess.

Thanks for reading!

He didn't know what to do, of all the things he was left to take care of, he was stuck with the worst task in the world. According to him at least. Temari thought it would be hilarious, thought it would teach him a lesson or two on how to act like a normal human being. Wrong. It was quite the opposite actually. He found this dreadfully unfunny and hated people more than ever. And he had a perfectly good reason why.

They created these loud, smelly things called babies.

Small, but made a big mess. Stupid, yet knew exactly how to get on people's nerves. Ugly, yet somehow all the women loved them so much. Clean for now, but will get very dirty, very quickly.

It was on a Saturday night when he was stuck with the wonderful job of babysitting Temari's eight month old baby girl, Misaki. Of course, there was a huge amount of convincing that took place. First it started out as a simple question that led to a favor. Suddenly voices were being raised, followed by threats of skinning with rusty knives and poisonous coral snakes under the bed. All the while, Shikamaru and Kankuro sat back and watched the whole ordeal while discussing the next football match between the Chargers and the Steelers. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Gaara reluctantly agreed and flung his hands in the air out of exasperation.

Temari only smiled and acted like they didn't just have the loudest of the century. She gave him instructions on what to do with the newborn and grabbed her husband by the collar and pulled him out of the house. Kankuro was obviously no help, he had a game to watch with his drinking buddies and made a run for it the minute they heard crying.

That was when all hell broke loose.

It cried, oh how it cried. For hours on end it cried. There seemed to be no end to the waterfalls rolling down its plump cheeks. It was as though someone fed the baby a huge can of monster and set its mode from stun, to cry.

At the fourth hour, he thought the infant had finally stopped when he turned on the TV. Some stupid kiddie show was playing about talking vegetables and they all started to sing. The baby looked at it for a second and became silent. Before he could even let out a sigh of relief, she started crying again. He had it up to this point; this was the straw that broke the camel's back. If the wailing and the screaming didn't stop soon, he was going to lose it and killing something small and innocent. He walked into the kitchen, crying midget in arms, and grabbed the house phone. He dialed the number in and waited impatiently for someone to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hinata."

There was a small squeak on the other line.

"G-Gaara, t-this is a surprise. W-what can I do f-for you?"

"Get Naruto."

"O-one moment please."

He heard some shuffling on the other end when there was a loud grunt.

"Yo, what's up red head?"

"I need help."

"No kidding."

Gaara growled, "I'm babysitting my niece and I don't know what to do."

There was a momentary silence before Naruto burst out laughing. It went on like this for two whole minutes before it settled down to soft chuckling.

"This is just too priceless."

"Shut up and tell me what to do."

"I don't know man, why don't you try feeding the baby some milk."

"Tried that, didn't work. Only threw up on me."

Once again another burst of laughter came through the receiver.

"Naruto." He said through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, sorry. Have you checked her diapers?"

"No."

"Maybe that's the problem."

"I am not checking her diapers."

"Then I don't know what else to tell you. When my kid's crying, it's usually because of that. Or he's hungry. But Hinata's mainly the one who takes care of everything; all I do is get her the stuff and throw away things."

He rolled his jaded eyes, "Thanks, you were loads of help."

"No problem. If you're still having trouble taking care of the kid, why not call Sakura?"

Nope. That was the last name on his contact list; he was defiantly not planning on calling her at all. The last time he did, she screamed some obscenity at him and slammed the phone down. She was a stubborn woman he didn't want to deal with ever again. Naruto sighed into the phone.

"You two need to get over your differences and just talk again. I've been meaning to tell you, it's rather uncomfortable when you two are glaring at each other and I'm the one stuck in the middle."

"If she wasn't so hot headed and quick to temper, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"She's not the only one who explodes like dynamite, if I remember correctly; you were the one who started the fight."

"Only because she instigated it."

"Whatever, the point is, Sakura moved on, so should you."

He was slightly taken aback, "She has?"

"Yeah, which unfortunately means she has a new boyfriend at her side."

His forehead creased, "Since when?"

"Since last month, she told us not to tell you-oops."

Slamming the phone down, he picked it up again and dialed her number, which he knew by heart. Once again the phone rang several times before someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Sakura."

He heard and aggravated groan on the other end, "What?"

"Don't you 'what' me."

"I can 'what' you all I freakin' want!"

He was about ready to smash his phone when he calmed himself down and remembered the crying infant in his arms, "Look, I didn't call you to argue alright?"

"Then what did you call me for?"

"I need your help."

"I'm a surgeon not a psychiatrist."

"With my niece!"

"Oh…well what is it?"

A sigh of relief escaped his lips, "She won't stop crying. I tried feeding her and giving her toys to chew on; but nothing's worked. And I refuse to check her diaper."

He could hear her clicking with her teeth before she spoke again, "What can I do to help?"

It was taking all power to cast away his pride and ego to ask her, "Can you come over and help me?"

He could have sworn he heard her scoffing at him, or was it laughing? He wasn't sure, because there were some muffled noises followed by incoherent words.

"Fine, but only because I can hear her crying and I feel more pity for her than you. I'll be over there in twenty minutes."

XXX

What seemed like a mere twenty minutes to others, felt like an extra ten hours for him. There was no way in hell he could stand another second holding onto his clinging child without trying to kill something. Not to mention the fact that she was also three minutes late. When the doorbell rang, he set the child down in her play crib and made a mad dash to the door. He flung it open and pulled her inside. Slamming it shut with a kick, he pushed her into the family room and pointed at the child.

"Make it stop. Now."

She rolled her eyes and walked over to the ballistic baby and picked her up, placing Misaki gently over her shoulder and cooing at her. She rubbed the baby's back, and turned to her uncle.

"You know, she has a name. You should try using it instead of addressing her like an object."

"Right now, I don't care. I've been stuck with that noise for well over four hours."

"Why the hell did you wait this long to ask for help?"

"Because I thought I could handle her on my own."

She rolled her eyes, "Great job."

He clenched and unclenched his fist, following her into the kitchen. She grabbed a blanket and spread it on top of the counter and carefully laid the baby on her back. She unbuttoned her cloths and checked her diapers, smirking when Gaara quickly turned away.

"Well you should be happy, she doesn't need a change."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure yet." Sakura picked up Misaki again, "Don't cry honey, it's alright, aunty Sakura's here to save you from mean uncle Gaara."

He scowled at her, but she continued to ignore him and smiled at the baby.

"You're so cute, please stop crying. No one's here to hurt you," She lightly kissed her on the cheek and wiped away her tears, "Mommy won't be very happy if she comes back to see you crying."

Apparently, all her annoying cooing and praising of said baby was working. After about another five more minutes, in which case the screaming somehow turned up a notch, everything went silent. He thanked whatever god was listening to him and could have broken down into tears if he had any inside him. The house was finally quiet and he could hear his own thoughts again. Until he heard giggling coming from one particular pink haired doctor sitting right next to him. She was tickling Misaki, who in turn also started giggling and the whole kitchen was filled with this noise. At least this wasn't as annoying as her horrendous crying. He should thank the woman, but his over flatted ego prevented him from doing such a thing. Instead, he nodded at her when their eyes met.

"Okay, well I'm going to leave you to uncle Gaara now and head now."

She got up from her seat, but was quickly pushed back down.

"You're not going anywhere."

Her left eye twitched, "What?"

"What if she starts crying again?"

"Then do what I did."

"Can you honestly see me doing that?"

She imagined in her head a psychotic Gaara smiling at poor, innocent Misaki and calling her names such as 'cute' and 'adorable.' He'd probably look like a pedophile and she shuddered at the thought. This was just not going to work out, and she really didn't want to fight with him right now.

"Fine, for the sake of Misaki, I'll stay. But only tonight, I do have a life you know."

"Yeah with your new boyfriend." He mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, let's go to the living room."

He picked up the baby and walked ahead, knowing Sakura would follow anyways. She emerged from the kitchen with her arms crossed and standing before the two Sabaku's sitting on the ground. He ignored her, though felt every angry vibe being sent his way. She was a force to be reckoned with, but he'd been in this situation before and he handled himself pretty well. Minus the broken jaws and countless black eyes.

She continued to tower over him for the time being before moving past him and flopping down onto the couch and picked up the remote, turning the TV on. He already knew what channel she would switch to and what show she was going to watch. Gossip Girl, channel eight. Episode 65; The Schemer. And the only reason why he knew this was because this was her favorite episode.

"So, where did Temari and Shikamaru go?"

"Dinner, theater."

"What play?"

"Wicked."

A wide smile spread across her lips, "I love that one, I went to go see it last week with…a friend of mine."

"A friend?"

"Yes, a friend."

"Who happens to be male."

She quirked an eyebrow, "Why do you care?"

"Just asking."

They were silent again, except from the occasional noises coming from the infant. She was throwing building blocks at Gaara's face and pulling at his hair, which he did not appreciate. But he sat back and bit his tongue, letting her do anything to him just to make sure she didn't start crying again. His back was turned to Sakura, so he didn't see the way the corners of her lips slowly curled into a faint smile. It was quiet cute actually, seeing him 'play' with the blonde haired baby. She held her up so she wouldn't fall and gave her things when she grabbed for them. If this was a different scenario, she might have actually thought he would make a suitable father. Though he would defiantly need to work on parenting skills.

But right now, he was her insufferable ex who always found a way to get on her last nerves. She was going to be stuck here for a while, might as well poke some fun and unscrew a few bolts.

"I heard you're dating Matsuri."

His shoulders stiffened, "Who told you that?"

"A little birdie."

He moved his shoulders up and down a little, his definition of a shrug, "I went on a few dates with her."

"She your girlfriend now?"

"Hell no."

She stifled a giggle, "That's funny, because from what I see on her facebook, she's totally in love with you."

He was about to spit back another retort when he stopped, she was baiting him. He hated when she did this, because she always got what she wanted. Not this time, nope. He won't be falling for her trap. Instead, he was going to bring it the other way around and get the information he wanted.

"Why do you care?"

"Just curious."

"Jealous?"

"Like hell I am."

Misaki decided Gaara's hair wasn't fun anymore and started pulling his ears, wondering if they came off just like her Mr. Potato Head. Apparently they didn't, no matter how hard she pulled. Now let's see if his nose comes off.

"What if I said I might be interested in her?"

"Good for you, lord knows you need the company."

He growled, but cooled himself down, "And I what if I decided to take her to our old private spots?"

She shifted in the couch, "What spots?"

A smirked formed over his features, "The old school yard, that dark place under the pier, the empty winery in the vineyard…your art studio-"

She kicked his head so hard his nose almost did come off when Misaki held on. He whipped his head around and glared at the woman, who was also glaring daggers at him. If looks could kill, they'd have died ten times over. Too bad for them, the baby started crying again.

"Look what you did Haruno."

"Me? You're the one who dropped her."

Said woman got up and scooped the whimpering child in her arms, rocking her softly.

"Can you go get a bottle; I'm going to try feeding her."

He nodded and walked into the kitchen, coming back out seconds later with a warm bottle. She checked the temperature carefully before putting the teat in her mouth. Gaara watched as she cradled his niece with great care and smiled when she started drinking. If this was the dragon lady he so fondly knew, the pink haired demon he liked to call her; he probably would have mistaken her for an actual mother. He'd never met someone so sincere and kind hearted; who always put others needs before her own. Even when she said she wouldn't come back, he knew she would. No matter how much she tried to deny it, she wore her heart of her sleeve and was bloody proud of it.

Made him wonder why they ever broke up. They were a dangerous pair, always yelling and always fighting. But perhaps that was what made them stronger and more compatible. Being happy and goofing was one thing, but getting into each other's akin, forcing the other into submission and tear at their souls; it was their own way of bonding. The more they yelled, the more they learned. It wasn't anger, rage, not fear; it was because they loved each other. Pushing one person to the brink to make them realize they aren't alone. He regretted never running after her when she walked out his door.

"Is she asleep?"

"Ah, no. I don't think she'll doze off anytime soon. Maybe after another bottle and a little more playtime, she'll be fast asleep."

She set the empty bottle on the table and put Misaki on the carpeted floor. Said baby stuck her butt into the air and pushed herself up, attempting to walk over to her impressed uncle. Sakura clapped her arms and smiled.

"She's getting really good at walking!"

"I helped her."

"Aw, I didn't know you had a heart to help." She ignored his frown and continued gushing.

"She can say 'dada' pretty well."

"It's the only thing besides crying and walking she exceeds in."

"I can't wait to actually hear her talking, I'm sure she's inherited Temari's big mouth. That'll be loads of fun for you." She giggled when he rolled his eyes and sat back down next to his niece.

Her attention turned back to the TV, and by now, Serena is trying to help Blair stop being such a bitch. The only reason why he knew that information as well was because Sakura screamed it at him when he asked what the hell was going on. She didn't like people interrupting her shows. Two episodes later and the baby was drifting off into slumberland. Gaara came back downstairs after putting her to bed and saw that Sakura was already up, shoes on and coat in hand.

"I guess I should be leaving now."

"Yeah, uh…thanks."

She smiled, "No problem, you can call me anytime you need me."

He grinned, "I thought you said you weren't going to come back."

"Changed my mind."

"Just admit you miss me and we'll get back together."

"In your dreams, the last thing I need is a nuisance like you in my life."

"Whatever you say." He opened the door for her.

"His name's Renji."

He narrowed his eyes, "What?"

"And he's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend, I promise. Whatever Naruto's said, he's just blowing it out of proportion."

He cleared his throat, "I knew that."

It was her turn to smirk, "Yeah, sure."

She turned to the door and stepped outside, taking her car keys out of her purse. He might as well ask her, if he still had a shot, then there was no harm. Plus, he doubted there was anyone else out there who could handle a spitfire like her. She was one in a million.

"Sakura."

Her legs stopped and she turned her head to him, "Hm?"

"Temari and Shikamaru are going out again tomorrow night."

"Really?" They both grinned.

"You can come over if you like."

"Sure, same time?"

"Yeah."

"See you then," She unlocked her car and opened the door, "I might even teach you how to change a diaper."

He slammed the door shut as she burst into a fit of laughter and drove home. Upstairs, Misaki was startled awake and began her wailing once more. Gaara stopped in his tracks and inwardly groaned.

"Stupid, smelly babies."

Okay, yeah how Gaara and Sakura deal with a baby.

Because unlike Sakura, I bitch just like Gaara. Even when I hold me precious little niece, she still cries.

R & R thanks!