ok so this is my first fanfiction and my first actual story so i need reviews! please :) tell me whats good whats bad what i should improve so yeah critic me!
I'm running and running as fast as i can go through the trees looking for a place to lose the eraser behind me. Its mouth is pulled back so its yellowish teeth show and i can hear it growling behind. Suddenly it got quiet. I keep running but I look behind me to see if it's still there. Bad move Max I think to myself because the next thing I know, I trip on a loose root from the tree next to me and I'm on the ground. I flop onto my back and I'm about to hop up when the eraser is standing over me. I can smell rotting flesh and I see specks of blood dotting his fur.
`"Hello Max" he says in a deep voice.
"Get away from me" I say as I struggle to get free but his grip is tight and I barely move an inch.
"Oh no you don't" he says as he tightens his grip.
"Let me go!" I scream in his face, but he just tightens his grip even more and breathes on my face knowing that his breath smells awful.
"Well if I do that Max then Jeb would be very mad at me" he said.
"Well it looks like he'll be very mad" I said as I kicked him where the light don't shine. I laughed as his face twisted in pain but he stood his ground.
"You know Max," he said slowly "At this point I don't really care if Jeb gets mad or not you just are annoying the hell out of me now and I don't like it when people annoy me so any last words" he asked.
"Yeah, you won't get away with this Fang and the rest of the flock will get you back" I said. I was scared on the inside but not letting it show on my face.
"Yeah ok" he said and with that he took out a tranquilizer and I saw his fingers flex as he tightened on the trigger. And the last thing I heard was the dart whistle from the gun as I suddenly felt really dizzy and my eyes drifted shut.
I jolted awake scared that I was actually dead. But I looked down and saw that I had no mark where the dart hit me. What a relief. Thank God I thought to myself. When I knew it was a dream I slowly calmed down and thought to myself, wow that was a weird dream, but who was Fang and the rest of the flock, who was Jeb and what the heck is an eraser? I was so confused so I just gave it up and went down stairs where I smelled the delicious smell of bacon¸ eggs, and waffles. "Mmm that smells good" I said as I drifted down the stairs following the smell. I see my mom at the stove and she turns around and smiles.
"Well thank you" she said as she slid the waffles onto the plate and set them down on the table. Just as we were about to sit down as Sam slid down the stair railing and jumped down and ran the rest of the way to the kitchen and sat down excitedly with a huge grin on his face.
"My favorite breakfast" he said stuffing his mouth with waffles.
"Save some for me" a tiny voice said from the hallway, Ella.
"You better hurry up or you'll have to share with the dog" he said around mouthfuls.
"He's not the dog." She said defiantly. "His name is Total." And as if on cue Total came trotting from outside carrying his tennis ball from outside and his paws were damp from the dew from the early morning. He happily dropped the ball and walked over to the table and started begging at Ella's feet. When he gave up after she ignored him, he moved on to Sam, then me, then my mom. When we were done with breakfast we got up and headed out the door to catch the bus to school.
Fangs P.O.V
"C'mon Angel," I yelled from the kitchen. "We're gonna be late, everybody's in the car, waiting on you…"
"Ok I'm coming I'm coming jeez calm down" she said walking out from her room with Celeste in her hand.
"No I can't you know how much trouble Dr. Martinez was put through to get us signed up in the middle of the semester for school and we're going to be late so hurry your little butt out the door," gently shoving her out the door.
"I can walk on my own. Goodness," she sighed and hopped into the backseat of the car and Iggy helped her into her car seat.
"Ok, everyone here?" I asked. I heard 4 yes's so I started the car up and pulled out of the driveway and started down the road leaving our countryside house with the trees swallowing it in the background. As we pulled out onto the main rode the car was filled with Nudge's voice and she just wouldn't stop talking the whole ride. I tuned out until we pulled into the school's parking lot "… wonder what school is going to be like. I mean we've only been to school once and then there was the School with the white coats and I hope that it's easy and the teachers are super super ni-" Gazzy cut her off. "Ok Nudge I think we get the point." I sighed grateful that he did that. "Ok guys first day at school so let's make it the best and don't get in trouble. We need to try harder this time not to get kicked out. Meet me by the car after school and don't be late we got to go because Dr. Martinez will be waiting for us when we get back," I reminded them. I heard groans and mumbles because I've repeated this over and over to get it into their brains so they wouldn't forget it.