This may be very late, but the DW8:XL popularity poll gave me an idea! Along with one of Gintama's story arcs.

A Koei worker holds up a long sheet of paper. "Here's this game's popularity poll results." Another takes it. "Ah, let's see here... Zhao Yun is number one? I hope this wasn't intended since he's our mascot character. Then these two are second and third. "Huff. Go figure." He rolls up the sheet and tosses it into the portal.

"Why'd you do that?!"

"Huh?"

"We were supposed to put that on the website!"

"Oh."

Numbers and arrows appear over the DW characters' heads when they were sleeping. When morning came, a peon yells at the top of his lungs after he ran out of Wei's palace.

"Calling all generals! Lord Cao Cao wants a conference with you all and I'm not sure why he could have sent messengers to do this and yes, this includes Jin! The ones that worked for Wei before they destroyed it-" Cao Cao puts his hand on the peon's shoulder.

"That's enough..."

"Hey, what's that floating above your head?"

(26th place)

"Yes... about that..."

30 minutes later and everyone is sitting at the large table with Cao Cao sitting at the very end of one side.

"I specifically made this table for this occasion!"

"You predicted you had to invite everyone in Wei along with Jin?"

"Yes! This is very important and I have to let Jin in despite them being the tumor of Wei."

"Tumor...?"

"Slowly feeding and killing off us until we die." He turns slowly to look at Sima Yi very attentively. (8th place)

"Also you." His eyes move to Sima Shi.

(30th place)

"And you." His eyes move to Zhang Chunhua.

(29th place)

"I think you need to be looking at Zhao..." (28th place)

(There is no way that can be a coincidence.) Oh no, no, no! Don't you turn this on me! You bore the children that destroyed my empire, so thus you get part of the blame. Think I'd let you off the hook because you're a woman? Oh no, no, no! I see everyone equally compared to everyone here."

"They just laid the foundations."

"Same thing. And I blame you also! And you! And you!"

Wang Yuanji: 2nd place

Jia Chong: 17th place

Guo Huai: 58th place

"Why isn't Sima Zhao getting blamed?"

"Just a moment! And you! You get all my blames!" He points at Sima Zhao with a stern finger.

"...Why are we here again? So you could just blame us for Wei falling?"

"Back to our discussed topic, I have noticed all of you have numbers floating on top of your heads. I am going to explain to the new people." Yu Jin raises his hand, "I don't have one."

"Yes, you came after the poll, thus you don't have a number. Also Xun Yu."

"Then why did you bring me?"

"I don't want you getting lonely. Anyway, it seems like Koei wants us to rub in our ranks in each others' faces. So let's do that. Ha, I got higher than you, Jia Xu!"

"Don't care." Jia Xu flicks the number (27th place) above his head. "Guo Jia got way higher than you and I do not mean the opium kind." Guo Jia (4th place) whispers to him, "Don't just say it out loud like that all willy-nilly!"

"Everyone knows anyway." Jia Xu's place number floats near his face and he slaps it away from his face.

"These things move on their own. Weird..." Xu Chu looks up at his number and grabs it. (76th place)

"What does this taste like? Nom." He eats the number 76 and everyone's numbers went up by one. His number is replaced with a 77 and blood is trickling down his face.

"Um...?"

"What?"

"Nevermind..."

"Mmmh... Times New Roman... Om..."

"Stop, Xu Chu. That's not good for you."

"Why?"

"You're bleeding!"

"I thought we don't bleed."

"Huh. Nevermind then. That might be red wine flowing down your face." The door breaks down to have Wen Yang fall inside nude, mosaic included over his intimate area. (16th place)

"Nrrrgh..." The number above his head drops drastically to stop at 136. Everyone sits still staring at the battered body. Wen Yang looks up angrily at the table.

"Isn't anyone worried?!"

"Not me."

"Not me."

"I don't know you."

"I was dead when you were born."

"How about you help him?" asked Sima Zhao to Zhuge Dan.

"I'm the one who killed his father, I don't think he'll appreciate it. How about you? Since you are so goddamn friendly."

"Ehhehehehe... Um... Heh."

"Is no one wondering why my number is dropping?"

"Oh, you know about the poll." Hands push Yue Jin (19th place) to the lying Wen Yang.

"Hey! Why me?"

"You look like you can relate to him?"

"No, I don't! Fine. What happened?"

"Someone removed my clothing to shame myself and made me drop ranks!" (159th place)

"It looks like it is decreasing even more." Now Wen Yang's number is 167. Cao Cao (25th place) rises from his seat and says, "Someone is dragging this... guy... down to increase their rank! That is... GENIUS! That's exactly what I would do! Whoever's doing this, I applaud you!"

"That's not what you should be saying!"

"Hey, I could have knocked out Sima Yi's daughter-in-law to get her second place crown. But I decided to respect her and not do it."

"What if someone were to do it to you?"

"Then I would not let them, obviously! Anyway, why is she second? She just stands there! Also, why is Guo Jia fourth? He should be second!"

"Thank you."

"Maybe it's the blonde hair. I shall dye my hair blonde to at least be third place!" Cao Cao takes out an ink bottle and pour yellow ink all over his head.

"I'm blonde now! Can I be third?"

"This is ridiculous. All for what the stupid fans think?"

"For you, Sima Yi! You got number eight! Maybe I should wear a stupid hat to get your fame. Or shave my face. I'll put on my rubber ducky hat."

"If this is going to be happening, I am leaving. No point sitting around while you try to make yourself more appealing."

"...Hmm... Leaving already? Something to hide?"

"What?"

"You could have been the one that beat the man lying on my floor in order to drop his rank."

"The only person that can profit from that is someone that is lower than him." Sima Zhao shouts out, "It was Jia Chong! I bet it was him! He's sixteenth now that Wen Yang is er... shamed." Jia Chong sarcastically says, "Ah, thank you for throwing me under the carriage. Even though I wished I had beaten the armor boy, I really didn't do it. Are you sure it wasn't you? You are twenty-seventh place now thanks to him being shamed."

"Why would I do that? I wouldn't hurt my general over there. By the way, how are you ranking above me? Huh?"

"I am much more likable than you are."

"You spend the whole story saying "execute him"! It's the emo make-up. Is that it? Fine, I'll put on make-up and see what happens to me." Sima Zhao takes out an ink bottle and paints his eyes black.

"Am I cool now?"

"You look like a raccoon."

"Ah, my skin is too tan. I'll need to steal Yuanji's make-up for this."

"You certainly will not!"

"Too bad, I already have some!" He covers his face pure white and pours the ink all over his hair.

"There!"

"...And that is me when I officially give up on you." Cao Cao continues, "Everyone in this room is a suspect! Even though you are high up in the ranks, you can still ruin everyone else in the process! Am I clear- Pi, where are you going?"

"If you won't take the second spot, I will."

"Wait! What are you planning? Ah, forget it. Once he makes up his mind, you can't change it. Like when he married Zhen Ji." Zhen Ji (34th place) complains to him,"Hey!"

"I am not saying it in a bad way... Sort of... " Cao Pi goes behind Wang Yuanji's seat and holds up a club over her head. Sima Zhao gets up and blocks his blow.

"Father! You're right there! Why didn't you stop him?" Sima Yi turns to look at Sima Zhao as if nothing happened, "Oh, I'm supposed to care?"

"Get in my way, or your rank will drop with one hit."

"Get Zhong Hui if you want to rise up!"

"He's only tenth. I want second."

"Not if I can help it."

"Your face doesn't exactly say otherwise." The two look at each other with lighting eyes. Two clunks are heard and they fall down along with their rank. The numbers drop a few places.

Sima Zhao: 35th place

"Aw, what?!"

Cao Pi: 20th place

"Damn you!"

Sima Shi stands over the two, "I don't understand how you two rank higher than me, but I'll happily take back my number twelve back." (12th place)

*He was twelfth place in the DW7 poll*

Cao Cao yells out, "How dare you do that! If that is what is going to be, I shall beat up Sima Yi to gain his number eight since I can't be attacking girls or else this will damper my reputation even more!" Sima Yi quickly walks out of the room while Cao Cao runs after him. Xiahou Dun (9th place) watches as Cao Cao runs after Sima Yi and Guo Jia (4th place) says to him, "Glad that's not us since we are loyal to Lord Cao Cao, right?"

"Think again."

"Hm?"

"I don't care for these things, and... look behind you." A random generic grabs the top of Guo Jia's pants and yells out, "I shall shame you in order to secure my place at the top!" He pulls down his pants and he snickers. He stops to see the number above Guo Jia's head is not decreasing. He lets go and gets away from him.

"Why isn't it dropping?"

"Hahaha! I wear a second underwear just in case I were to lose my first underwear along with my pants!-er?" He quickly pulls up his pants and runs away from some more people. Zhen Ji walks over to Wang Yuanji's seat.

"I thought I was the cold bitch around here. There can be only one." Wang Yuanji quickly gets up and walks away, but Zhen Ji forces her back to her chair.

"You can give me the number, or I'll have to force it off you."

"I will not give up my place so easily. The fans have spoken."

'You just stood there being the cardboard cutout for Jin. I will not lose to someone like you."

"You lust over your husband during your screentimes. I will not lose to that kind of person. I will not give up without a fight." The screen splits to show their eyes glaring at each other. They jump backwards and threw blasts of light at each other. Sima Zhao gets up quickly and yells at Zhang Chunhua.

"Why aren't you helping Yuanji or at least protecting her?!"

"That's your job since you're her husband."

"Why aren't you at least escaping?"

"I really don't care about this entire thing." (27th place)

"Are you sure? You're pretty high up and someone will come by and shame you."

"Aw, that's nice of you to worry, but I am really okay-" She ducks when a blade flies over her.

"That wasn't for me, but... I will go..." She gets up quickly and walks out the room. Yu Jin grabs several generic generals and throws them into the wall.

"I don't know what are you fighting about, but take that to Shu or Wu! Let your rage be used on destroying them!" Unfortunately, the generals didn't hear them and continued fighting. They also had numbers above their heads.

(569th place)

(431st place)

(640th place)

"Those numbers don't even make sense! Get your butts out of here and stop destroying the palace!" Xun Yu slowly and silently goes out the back palace door as Yu Jin throws feuding generals around.

Cao Cao runs after Sima Yi while holding a club.

"Come back! I thought you don't care about these things?"

"I don't want you pulling down my pants or hitting me for the sake of rising up in the popularity poll!"

"When you say it that way, of course it sounds bad!" Sima Yi continues to run away from Cao Cao and he takes a turn into an alley. Cao Cao runs past the alley and Sima Yi exhales in relief.

"Huff... huff... I'll just go hide out at my home until this blows over-Gak!" A hand pulls him into a building and the door shuts loudly. Sima Yi looks around in the dark room and the torches around light up. A hand pats his shoulder and he jumps.

"Calm down, it's just me." Guo Jia's face (4th place) is barely being shown by the torches.

"Since when did this room exist here?"

"...I have no idea... Ask Xun Yu."

"He's not going be much help if all he can do is watch."

"Oh, don't be like that. You're just a little angry on how he's taking your hat style."

"It's not that, he can't talk."

"He uses a notepad that never runs out of paper for some reason, he can use that. Come on, let's go. There are a few more people that is hiding from everyone out there." They walk farther into the building to have four other people sitting inside, Wang Yuanji (2nd place), Xiahou Dun (9th place), Zhong Hui (10th place), and Xun Yu.

"Why is the silent strategist in here?"

Wow, you didn't have to say it that way, jerk.

"I don't understand why you're here since you have no reason to be hiding."

Yu Jin was about to use me as a bat on the generals fighting.

"He doesn't have a number either."

He's trying to discipline the generals who had numbers.

"But generics don't have numbers."

Well, they do.

"Shouldn't you and Yu Jin have one then?"

"Heheheh... Don't over think this, Master Sima Yi." Zhong Hui complains, "I don't understand why we're all sitting in this room. We are sitting ducks when the others find this room. We have a better chance surviving out there." Sima Yi goes up to him and picks him up by the shoulders.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He takes him towards the door and opens it to stick him outside. He quickly closes the door and Zhong Hui bangs on the door.

"Hey! Let me in!"

"You said you have a better chance out there. So you don't need to be protected."

"I take it back! Let me in!"

"Sima Yi, let him in."

"Why should I? Let him get beat up by Deng Ai. He's not going to put up a good fight anyway."

"We have to protect the top ten at all costs! The fans have spoken, yet everyone-" Zhong Hui yells at the door.

"Are you going to make a speech about responsibility or are you going to let me through the door?!" Guo Jia makes a blank face and turns away from the door.

"Fine. Stay out there."

"Hey! I'm sorry! Let me in! Ah! I see dust being kicked up along my way!" Sima Yi asks Guo Jia,"What about your little talk about "protecting the top ten"?"

"It's "protecting the top nine" now. That kid's a dick. Let him get run over by angry generics." Yelling is heard from behind the door. Guo Jia walks back to the three sitting down.

"You three are quiet."

"Mmh."

"Mmh."

"Go get the list back!" yelled out a Koei worker at another Koei worker.

"Can't we just we type it up again?"

"...Oh no... I forgot to save! I always forget to save! Goddamn it!"

"Can't we just look up-"

"It's all gone. The paper file was thrown away since we got all cocky about computers."

"Damn... Um..." Akihiro Suzuki walks up to them.

"Are the results on the site yet?"

"...No."

"Why not?"

"He threw the list into the portal!"

"Why did you do that?"

"...A plot device...?"

"A what-what? Huff... I'll send out someone to collect it. TAKASUGI!" A door opens near them. Takasugi walks out of it.

"What now?"

"Go into the portal and retrieve the popularity poll list."

"Why don't you go? Or those two there?"

"Now we all know you're very comfy with the characters. You can easily get in and out."

"You just want to be lazy-"

"Bye." Akihiro Suzuki pushes him into the portal room. He stumbles and falls on the floor.

"Ow! Your aim's a bit off."

"Hi-ya!" Akihiro kicks him, sending him into the portal.

A tear opens in the middle of a wall and Takasugi is seen flying out of it.

"Ow... Okay, where's that list... Yes!" He sees a long piece of paper stuck onto a bush. He reaches for it, but a generic lands in that bush and the paper comes loose to fly away in the wind.

"Ah!" He runs after the paper flying in the air. The paper flies away from his sight when he stops to catch his breath.

"Grr... I'm going to have to wander around here until that paper flies back to me-Gah!" A generic (967th place) barrels into him.

"Ow! Watch where you're throwing people!" He sees a foot and he looks up to see Yu Jin's glaring face.

"Oh... I am not part of all this! I'm just looking for this long piece of paper!"

"You mean the one that just flew within the city walls?"

"Yes! Errr!" He struggles under the body on top of him. "EEEEER! This guy needs to lay off the meatbuns!" Yu Jin lifts the generic off of him.

"Thanks. I see this guy had a number on his head. Why don't you?"

"I was not in the poll yet."

"But these generics aren't in the poll."

"Do I look like I have the answer to that? Move along. Go on."

"Okay, okay." Takasugi walks away and into the city that Yu Jin pointed to. He comes across a naked Zhong Hui lying on the ground. A mosaic covers his intimate area. The number 143 was floating above his head.

"Oh. Hi. Going around in your birthday suit? Was this acceptable back then?" Zhong Hui looks up angrily.

"Of course not! Are you going to help me or not?"

"I don't feel like it. Bye."

"Hey! Come back!"

"I'm just going to let you be nude there."

"I didn't choose this!"

"It chose you, I get it."

"No! The stupid hat guy and his dumb blonde friend left me out here to die!"

"...It's not dying when you're naked and lying in the street with no wounds. So I'm guessing you're talking about Sima Yi and... um... How many blonde people does Sima Yi know?"

"Two!"

"Now, now. I don't need help from a naked guy lying in the middle of the street. Um... there's Guo Jia... Wang Yuanji... I saw Ma Chao's hair once. It was blonde, but Sima Yi doesn't know him personally."

"Come on! You know Yuanji is not friends with her father-in-law! I saw him throw her into a pond along with Sima Zhao!"

"Oooh, she gets part of the punishment? Brutal, man. But this is Sima Yi we're talking about here."

"Of course that lady in the hooker dress came and threw him into the pond after he did that."

"Now, now, Zhong Hui. That is a bad word. Hooker... Say "woman who's business is to pleasure someone sexually". Though she has done that to him..."

"That's longer!"

"Oh well, did you see a long piece of paper fly by?"

"My face was on the ground this entire time!"

"Then why aren't you getting up?"

"I feel so embarrassed..."

"Your butt is being exposed. Though that mosaic is the only thing that's keeping your dignity in place."

"Do you have something to cover my... there?"

"I have these McDonald's napkins. Here, I stole too many. Unless you need only one..."

"Ha, very funny." Takasugi drops a small stack of napkins near Zhong Hui. He looks to his right and sees a steel door in an alley.

"Hey, what's that lead to?"

"Didn't you hear me the first time?! The stupid hat man and the dumb blonde are in there!"

"But... it's so... anachronistic... I don't think you people used steel for your doors... Oh well, I can go take a peek in there." He walks to the steel door and knocks on it. He tries to pull on it and it doesn't budge.

"I have no idea what you're doing in there with Guo Jia, Sima Yi, but if I can get a picture, it would be worth thousands on Ebay and SexyYaoiStuff. Net. It'll push our budget through the charts." A voice yells from behind the door.

"Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Trust me, Sima Yi's the last man I'd want to see in my bed. Then again, why would I be sleeping with a man in the first place? I mean, I may open-minded, but not THAT open-minded. I have standards."

"Standards? You peek in the women's changing rooms. Including the ones where my daughter-in-law and wife reside in..."

"Is it that bad?"

"I don't know... you're old enough to be their uncle, so yes. It's bad."

"Wait, how old is your wife?"

"I... don't know..." Takasugi teases from the door.

"Shame on you, Sima Yi, you don't know how old your wife is. What a terrible person you are."

"It's not my fault she looks old and young at the same time."

"That's how I feel about you. You're old and young at the same time."

"Soooo... Is it okay if I peek at her?"

"Eeeeer... You know what? I don't blame you. Her chest is nice, so I guess want to take a peek at that."

"You're encouraging him?!"

"If you're so uptight about this, make Zhang Chunhua wear something other than that hooker dress. Make her wear a bra, something that covers her basketball sized boobs! Lian Shi's dress is more covering than that!"

"Basketball...?"

"I should bring you one to get that point across. So why are you two hiding in some doomsday bunker?" The door opens to show the two with the numbers above their heads.

(4th place)

(8th place)

"Oh, you two have that."

"Cao Cao was trying to make my rank drop in order to increase his own."

"And some random generic tried to pull my pants down to drop my rank. I know that sounds weird out of context, but that's what happened."

"Why it didn't?"

"I have a second underwear."

"Why...? Nevermind, don't answer that. So anyone else trying to hide in there?"

"Yes, Xiahou Dun and that little blonde girl. Her name always slip past me."

"Wang Yuanji."

"There it is. And Xun Yu's just sitting in there because he's scared of Yu Jin."

"Aren't you bored?"

"Of course, but it's better being stripped down and having your rank drop fifty places."

"You care?"

"Sort of. Sima Yi doesn't care, Xiahou Dun doesn't care, Wang Yi doesn't care."

"Yuanji."

"Sorry, I'm just used to saying "Yi" after the "Wang" part. You have to admit being the top ten does have perks."

"You know hiding in here will not help. Until I can find that paper, those numbers will not be erased. You're stuck having a number that'll make people pissed. Besides, you can protect yourself. Can you? You have a magic stick and balls-That sounded wrong, let me rephrase that. You have a magic thing-No. A magic show as your weapon. Pool cue and ball, yeah that sounds better. That can mess someone up. Now for Sima Yi's whip, hehehe... No. Unless he can use his lightsaber feature, he's screwed."

"I can't just use that when my dignity is on the line!"

"If all else fails, kick the threat in the balls."

"But what if it were a woman-"

"Oh, that. Um... Well, it's a sausage fest here, so you won't have to worry about that. So you can just go outside and have an excuse to beat someone else up. I have to find a paper. Can you guys keep an eye for a long piece of paper flying around? If you catch it, I'll happily take it back and make sure this mess won't happen again." He leaves the bunker.