A/N: Okay, so this oneshot is completely non-canon and would never happen. It was based on the following prompt from one of my followers: Leia hears about Han's past romantic involvements and devises a way to get revenge.

General Leia Organa was positively livid.

It had been years since she and Han had last seen one another and she had been hoping that they could reconnect after everything that had happened. At the very least, she had wanted at least one civil conversation.

Instead, Han had been on the Resistance's base for barely three hours and rumors concerning his past heroic deeds were already circulating.

Most of the rumors had been outrageous, over-dramatic fabrications - she had quietly laughed at those. But one especially persistent rumor concerning a woman from his past had bothered her enough to cause her to corner the insufferable smuggler and demand a straight answer.

Logically, she had known that Han had been involved with other women before the two of them were married. However, logic didn't serve to lessen the sting.

Neither had Han's clumsy, bumbling excuses as he tried to explain that his previous involvements had absolutely nothing to do with her.

His utter absence of an apology was the final straw.

Annoyed, she plucked one of the long-distance communicators from its bracket on the wall.

There was only one person she could count on to deal with this situation.

"Ben, honey, I need you to do me a favor."

"Ummm...Are we talking again now? Not that I care...I mean, wait - why should I help you?"

"Trust me, you'll like doing this favor for me."

"Does it involve murder?"

"...Actually, yes. I need you to kill your father. Apparently he was involved with some random woman before he met me and-"

"HE WAS WHAT? HOW DARE HE? Don't worry, mom, I'll make sure he's good and dead. Stabbing him with my lightsaber and pushing him into a ravine should do the trick. YOU WILL BE AVENGED."

"I knew I could count on you, dear."

As Leia placed the communicator back into its holder, she sighed.

At least the murder wouldn't be traced back to her.