As I make out with Remy Hadley inside the female bathroom, I fear someone might walk in. I specially fear it'll be a nurse. Nurses seem to know everything that happens inside the hospital, and once one of them knows something, it's a matter of minutes before they all do. And once over half the people in a building know something, chances are everyone else will soon know, too.
That's what I actually fear: not the nurses knowing, but Robert knowing through them. I don't want to hurt him, I really don't. But I'm afraid I'll have to: he'll recover better from a breakup than from being cheated.
I just… I don't feel as strongly for him as I do for her. I like him alright, but she makes me fly. And, although I'm afraid of heights, I want to fly with her, because she makes me feel safe.
That's insane, given her health condition, but it's true. I do fear, sooner or later, the impulsiveness of her disease will make her get tired of me. I fear even more that she won't, as she promises me every time I voice that concern. I fear we'll stay together, and she'll die on me, and I'll go through that pain all over again. But, when I'm with her, none of those fears matter. I feel brave, fearless. And I want to feel that way forever.