Unloved
Chapter 1: Despair and Dancing
By: Alexandra AKA Fantasy Dragon
Warning: Mainly only language in this chapter, some angst, maybe a hint of lime a little later on
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, but one day me and my cousin are going to take over the video game world, and they will be mine!
'Have you ever felt as if you weren't loved? You were useless? That no one cared about you? Everyone just looks right through you? The feeling that you just don't matter to anyone?
Well, that's the story of my life. Some people say that I am making all this shit up, that I try to make people feel sorry for me. But those are the people that look right through me. Because contrary to popular belief, I'm not perfect. Even my friends don't know what goes on behind closed doors. And that's the way it is going to stay.'
"Quistis? You ready yet?" A tall blond questioned, poking his head into the room. There he saw her curled up in the chair, wearing her coral robe, so he allowed himself to enter the room completely.
The young instructor jumped at the intrusion, slamming her notebook shut through sheer instinct.
"Fuck, Seifer. Have you ever heard of knocking?" Quistis said with a glare as she bent over to pick up the pen that had fallen to the floor when she was startled. She then stood up straight and began to walk across the room.
"Ever hear of locking the door?" Seifer chuckled, earning another glare. "I knocked twice and there was no answer. What gives?" the gunblader then leaned up against the door frame, watching as Quistis placed the pen and note book into the desk drawer before locking it.
"Sorry, Seifer. I just kinda zoned out there for a moment." sighed the slender girl as she removed her silver framed glasses and set them on the top of the desk, then grabbed her hair clip. As she began to twirl the long honey coloured strands into their normal style, a hand grabber her wrist.
"Leave it down. It looks fine, and I am beginning to think that the reason you are so bitchy all the time is cause your hair is too tight." smirked the ex-knight, as he lowered his arm and finally let Quistis' arm go.
"Fuck off. I'm not bitchy all the time." Quistis smiled, placing the clip back into its normal place.
"Okay. You're not always bitchy. But you're gonna be late if you don't hurry up." Seifer pushed, walking back over to the doorframe he had previously been leaned up against and took up the position again.
"I'll only be a minute. All I have to do is put my dress on." Quistis walked in her bedroom without another word and locked the door after closing it.
Seifer sighed. This was not the Quistis Trepe he remembered. Over the past six months since he had returned from his year away, Quistis had become closed off to everyone, spending all of her free time locked in her room, only speaking when spoken to, changing completely.
'In fact, she's become a female Squall.' Seifer chuckled to himself, running a hand through his short blond hair. He couldn't believe that she had agreed to go to the SeeD inauguration dance with him. And she had promised to wear something other than her SeeD uniform. This was a big deal.
"Okay. Almost ready." Quistis' voice came from the direction of her bedroom. Seifer's head shot up as he turned to look at her. As he saw her, he had to catch his jaw from dropping.
The blue mage stood there, a long black dress clinging to all the right places to show off the perfect curves of her chest and hips. From her beautiful face, down the silky pale skin of her bare shoulders, all the way to the floor that the elegant dress brushed across, Seifer had to admit for being his childhood friend and ex-instructor, she looked pretty fucking hot.
"You clean up well." Seifer nodded, not letting what he really thought come out.
"Hey, it's not every day that your most delinquent student finally becomes a full fledged SeeD." Quistis grinned, opening her closet and pulling out a pair of long black opera gloves and a pair of strappy black sandals. She then proceeded to put both things on, completing her ensemble.
"Hey. I wasn't a delinquent. I just preferred to be outside in the fresh air during class and not pay attention." argued Seifer, stepping out into the hallway as Quistis turned off the lights and closed the door, making sure that it locked. "But I did make it, didn't I?"
"I can't argue with that one. You have the uniform to prove it now." Quistis laughed out loud for the first time in what seemed like forever and definitely the first time Seifer heard since he had been back.
"Yeah. I guess it was about time." Laughed Seifer as he touched the material of his new SeeD uniform again, as if the jacket would disappear in a few seconds. With a lot of help from Quistis, Seifer was able to reapply to take the necessary courses and finally take his SeeD exams, which is why he felt that he needed to take her to the ball.
"You know, this is going to be the first one of these ball things that I will have been to since my own almost 5 years ago? I just find them so boring most of the time." Quistis confessed, as the blonde couple approached the large double oak doors that lead into the ballroom.
"You really need to get a life, Trepe. There is too much out there for you to stay cooped up in your room writing the dirty fantasies you have of me in that note book of yours." grinned the gunblader, as he held one of the doors open for his date.
"Believe me. I don't have fantasies about you and what I what I write about is absolutely nothing like that." smiled Quistis as they entered the well-decorated room that was over crowed with people. The live orchestra was playing a slower waltz as they walked over to the dance floor, which was quite full like most of the large room.
"May I have this dance?" Seifer asked, bowing and extending his hand to his date.
"Only if you promise to stop acting like such a fool." Quistis had a grin on her face as she accepted the mans hand and they began to dance in perfect time with the music.
"So what made you always not want to come to these things? You are an excellent dancer." Seifer whispered in her ear, causing the instructor to blush.
"I may be a good dancer, but what good does that do to you if you can never get a date for one of these things." shrugged the blue mage.
Seifer stopped mid-glide as she said this. " You, Miss-I-Have-My-Own-Fanclub? You never had a date?" Seifer had to laugh as they started to glide across the floor once again.
"I might have a fanclub, but that doesn't mean that any single one of those guys have the fucking balls to come up to me, let alone say shit to me. They are all just a bunch of fucking pussies who think they one day will just talk to me and win me over." glared the blonde. Seifer knew he hit a soft spot.
"And the female members?" he tried laughing through this, anticipating another rude and interesting comment.
"They are only part of the fanclub to get into the pants of the male members." was the sneer that Quistis gave, earning a hardy laugh from Seifer as the waltz ended and a somewhat faster song began to fill the air. As soon as Seifer let go of Quistis' hands, he saw the expression on her face go from one that had been a glare to one that was if she had left her body completely.
"Do you want to get a drink, then sit this one out?" suggested the ex-knight, nodding towards the refreshment table, noting the look on Quistis' face right now.
"Oh, sure. That's fine." Quistis said as if she just zoned out. It was almost like she was an empty shell, absently following orders. Seifer figured that he could ask her to strip naked right then and there and as if she wanted to be fucked, her answer would have probably been the same.
Seifer took her hand and lead her over to the long table covered in glasses of champagne and small plates of finger food. He picked up a flute of champagne and handed it to his date before getting one for himself. Seeing a place where they could talk in, Seifer lead Quistis over to the empty corner.
"Is it because of me?" Seifer asked, looking only at the blubbly amber liquid as he leaned up against a wall.
"Is what because of you?" Quistis asked, genuinely confused by the male blonde's question.
Seifer thought his statement over, leaning his head back to recite it over again in his head.
"Everyone has said you've changed a lot. Mainly since I've come back. What happened?" Seifer asked, hoping that it didn't sound as bad out loud as it did in his head. He put down his champagne just incase.
"That's why you asked me to this thing, isn't it?" snarled Quistis in a very defensive manner as she stepped away from the newly appointed SeeD.
"No, it's not!" protested Seifer. The year he had spent travelling had caused Seifer's emotions to all become free from the internal prison the knight had locked them away in for so long. Even though he now had a gentle side, he could still be the world's biggest prick if you pissed him off enough.
"Well, you can tell 'everyone' that change is an inevitable part of life that you can't escape. If they aren't going to accept what changes that have gone on, they really aren't good friends are they?" sneered Quistis as she slammed her glass down on the ledge that Seifer had already put his on.
"But what did my arrival back to Garden have to do with you changing? What about me is it that caused to you become closed? Withdrawn?" Seifer asked, catching Quistis' arm as she turned to leave, forcing her to stay here with him. Whether or not she would give a good, truthful answer, Seifer couldn't tell.
"I promise, it wasn't you. You had nothing to do with it." Quistis spoke so quietly, Seifer had to strain to hear her. Looking over at her ashen face, for the first time Seifer noticed the tears that were making a path down her pale cheeks. Out of pure instinct, Seifer pulled the blue mage into his arms and allowed her to sob into his chest.
"Remember, not all change is bad, Quisty. 2 years ago I would have been like, "Whatever, bitch", but look at me now. I have real friends that I care about, I'm now a SeeD and fuck, I have more feelings than just hate, anger and despite. But you've closed yourself off to us, Quisty. I only want to help. Please, if you could only talk to me when you are ready." He whispered, still holding her tightly.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She sobbed, unable to control the flow of tears that started to come on harder than before.
"It's okay. It is all going to be okay." Seifer rubbed her back, trying to get her to calm down. Sighing, he thought of why he was doing this. He had realized his feelings for the former instructor a long time ago, but she always had seemed interested in Squall, never him. So he acted like the self-absorbed prick that everyone knew him best as.
Finally Quistis pulled away, wiping her eyes with the palm of her gloved hand. Seifer had to smile at the child like action.
"You okay now?" Seifer smiled, holding her out at arms length. She wouldn't meet his sapphire eyes.
"I think so. I'm sorry I ruined your evening." Quistis still looked down at her feet, afraid of what her date thought of her after that little break down.
"No, you didn't. Trust me. I'll admit, after the gang found out that you and I were coming to this thing together they asked me to ask you. But I didn't asked for them. I am worried about you, Quisty. You are the reason I am a SeeD. You believed in me when everyone else gave up. You helped me and now I am going to return the favor." Seifer smiled a real smile, not his famous smirk, for the first time Quistis had ever seen.
"Thanks Seif." Quistis smiled as well before hearing the orchestra start up again with another song. "Now what do you say we dance the rest of the night away." Quistis then pulled Seifer out onto the dance floor.
TBC.......................
Just an idea that popped into my head one night. This won't be an overly long story, but not only 2 or 3 chapters. It's going to be getting a lot darker and more angsty later on. Let me know what you think! Later!