"Know I can't take one more step towards you,
'cause all that's waiting is regret,
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?"
Kurt took a deep breath and stopped, steadying himself. He began to shake all over. The emotion already trickling through his body as he looked over the sea of stones sticking out of the ground, each one named and never forgotten.
"You lost the love,
I loved the most,
And i learned to live, half-alive,
And now you want me one more time,"
Didn't Blaine know that Kurt still loved him? Still wanted to hold him? Kurt began to move again only seeing one thing in his eyes. His mind thinking over the past few weeks. The heart break, the worry, the utter lost feeling, the sickness, the gut wrenching pain and now the closure.
"Who do you think you are?
Runnin' round leaving scars,
Collecting your jar of hearts,
And tearing love apart,"
Kurt felt like he was being crushed in the chest. Hit by a truck, and the heavy weight never lifting off him. This would have been so much easier if Blaine had been here, but then again, the only reason he was here was because of Blaine.
"I hear you're asking all around,
If I am anywhere to be found,
But I have grown too strong,
To ever fall back in your arms,"
"Remember how to put back the light in my eyes,
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed,
'Cause you broke all your promises."
He really did feel like Blaine had broken all the promises he had ever made to Kurt. Blaine had told Kurt they would forever be together, never apart, but right now this fact was as false as ever.
Kurt was now standing looking at what could only be said as the last reminder of Blaine. He had to stop singing, he couldn't do it anymore. Blaine had always said how his voice could bring a tear to an angels eye, and he didn't want to think of Blaine crying.
Sitting down on the grass, Kurt stared ahead, looking at the stone in front of him. His tears pooling in his wind began to pick up, throwing the Autumn leaves around him, and he began pulling his old coat around him he lifting out the two most valuable things he could own right now.
He held them close to his chest trying to remember the wonderful memories that came with them. He then set them down between himself and the stone, smiling gently as the wind began to die down, almost as if Kurt had settled its nerves.
He couldn't help but look down at them again- he was very sure he knew the words printed on the worn out piece of card off by heart. Ignoring the sob that broke through his chest he continued to look at the lost, priceless memories.
"I love you Blaine. You remember these, I know you have to, you were there." Kurt let out a choked laugh. He lifted up a photograph, and the dull light shone over the reflective surface, and seeming to brighten up the already happy couple, as they danced around with a child.
The child seemed to be about seven, with light blonde hair, held up by pigtails on either side of her head, she seemed to be holding her hands around both men, with a party hat on her head, and a banner saying, 'Happy Birthday Catherine!' above the trio.
The happy couple's face were alight with pure unadulterated love. The taller of the two; a large slim man with blue eyes, held on tightly to the young girl, his hair was a light brown shade fitting perfectly with his complexion. His lips shone red as he seemed to be laughing at a joke being told.
The smaller, a well built man, held a hand to the wild mass of curls sitting atop of his head. His eyes, a sparkling hazel color, seemed to replay the earths most hidden secret that only he knew about. He seemed to be leaning in towards the taller male with his arm tightly wrapped around the other mans waist.
Kurt felt his tears fall again and he wiped at them sadly. He had hoped not to cry while he was here, but sometimes hope was just a thought to get you through each and every day. He told himself not to cry everyday, his family needed him, but it never seemed to work. Once he would reach his bedroom and lock the door his tears would flow, almost endlessly.
He set the photograph down again and picked up the ticket he had kept good for almost twenty years. It was the first show they had seen together, RENT they had, had such a good time there. Laughing, snuggling and just being with each other.
Their laughter on the way home still rang in Kurt's ears, always leaving a stabbing pain that reminds him that he could never make Blaine laugh again. Sure he had recordings of their time together but it wasn't the same. Kurt never laughed anymore, only cried that the simple times were over.
He looked up again and saw Blaine's tome stone looking right back at him. The words etched into the stone always made his heart pound, he was pretty sure you could hear it from a mile away. The last words had been the collective choice of both Catherine and himself. They both felt that song lyrics should be placed somewhere close and near to him, and they also came the the same agreement when discussing the meaning.
Catherine had made sure those were words that people would remember her father by. Always there for you, no matter the consequences.
Kurt lay down on the grass and started to feel bad, that he thought Blaine had broken all his promises because Blaine may not be with them physically, he would always be in their hearts and their memories; he may not be there to watch his grandchildren grow up, but he would be watching over them, keeping them safe; he may not be able to hold Kurt in the night and keep him safe from his nightmares, but he was always there in his dreams, fighting away the monsters.
His last promise was he would always, always love Kurt, no matter what, and Kurt still held on to that promise, tight against his heart, every night before he saw Blaine bow and lead him into a dance of color and breathless nights.
Kurt snuggled down further into the grass and took a deep last breath... before coming one with Blaine.
Blaine Anderson.
A Loving Husband,
A Proud Father,
September 24th 1993 - June 1st 2031.
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.
I would Like to say a big BIG Thank You (Merci) To Kitty again!
And yeah... Hope you enjoy!