Disclaimer: I don't own all of this, Just little bits.

A MEMORY CAST IN SCARLET

'Welcome to purgatory' the words seemed fitting for his state of mind, as if any man was in the running, to find somewhere between hell and a hard place. Harry certainly was a contender.

The Ovation for the Thief

XII

'Don't have any regrets, ok?'

He came round with a moan, there weren't any loud tearing noises no sharp cries for mercy, just a low ticking sound, a clock marking its time, on a wall not far from what seemed to be his bed. His thoughts seemed muddled, broken and came up blank on why he was still alive.

'You ok?' He couldn't see who had asked and his neck answered painfully when he tried to move his head.

'Guess that's a, not quite?'

He rolled his eyes at this, the only portion of his body not feeling detached, as he came to assimilate who had spoken and quite possibly where he was. He grunted as he tried to push himself up, his face showing he was put out at anybody seeing him in this state.

'Need a hand?'

'NO' his voice came out as a hoarse choke. 'Water?'

'Oh, just a sec.' He heard a movement and then a jug was brought to his mouth 'here, steady now.'

There were a few seconds were he could feel the cold substance reaching his chest, and then things seemed too speed up and his mind started to register his desire to move and duly, if grudgingly allowed him to push and sit up. 'Hold still a moment' his company requested and then he felt his glasses pressed to his nose. Then they sat back revealing her slightly worn, bandaged, features, easing herself to the wheelchair next to his very neat bed.

'Thank you' he sighed, and winced as he finally coxed his plastered, tattooed arm to move and notch his glasses higher.

'Well the healers say you're in one piece' she started 'but they won't tell me much' she shrugged then turned to look out the lightly curtained windows, casting long stretches of moonlight, which ran down an evidently thin, high roofed ward. A row of empty beds down the opposing wall showed they were the only two in its confines.

'It's been a little dull since I came here' she murmured, 'it was good of you to come see me.' Then looked back to him and grinned 'though next time id like it if you turned up awake Mr Potter'

He smirked 'well in future I aim with all my will, to try my hardest, to take heed of your advice, Miss Stokes.' Then raising an eyebrow continued 'and as flattered as I am having you here when I wake up, I had thought they would have you out by now. '

'Well the healers say there were some complications and you know how they can be.'

'All too well.' His expression soured 'but you seem to have come off worse from this mess.'

She glanced down at her small mending frame then spoke back to him. 'It's nothing permanent in the long run, and I have been meaning to take time off work.'

'Oh and how will Malfoy take this little absence?'

Miss Stokes laughed curtly at this 'my life is not dictated by my boss Potter. He's writing some letters of complaint I expect, you know he's pinning this whole affair on your department?'

Potter shared a grin and tried to move his muscles warmed by the news. 'Good to know some things never change. You know what O'Riley did with the last one?' Miss Stokes shook her head 'she used it to rap her take away.'

'You're kidding?'

'Nope'

'Does he know?'

Potter turned his head to look at her, his eyes hard to make out in the dim light. 'Don't think so, I expect otherwise he would not spend the time to write them, so very neatly.'

'Oh, all these petty department rivalries, and here I had hoped to leave that at Hogwarts.' She sighed, still smiling as she cast her mind back 'guess it's for the best.'

'Maybe... I'm still not used to it' he turned away a little.

'Working for the Ministry?'

'Yea, I hope it's not a record, to be in here only after...' he thought back suddenly concerned at the time, and vaguely unsure as to what happened over the last week.

'You've only been out and under about five hours, far as I know' Said Miss Stokes seeing and understanding his concern. 'It's the early hours of the morning, and they asked me to try and debrief you, when you came too.'

'Oh well Stokes, that's not too bad, I guess.' He sounded relived, but was still thinking back, not sure how to feel after what he had witnessed that previous evening.

Indeed a week ago his expectations despite what Tonks termed his 'Consistent negativity' had not included the possibly that his first case as Auror would be so hard, hit so close to home and leave him sorting though parts of his life that he had joined up to escape. He didn't feel lost when he woke up this time, and reflecting now, his first reaction on coming too was disbelief, he was just unsure why.

'can you remember what happened?' at first he thought he had asked himself the question, then realised it was her, looking at him with worry, her taped, gowned figure tilted in her chair so she could see his eyes better.

'Yes, I think so, but the last moments I remember, seem to be a little, messed up?' He flinched, Stokes expression of worry deepened, her thin arms reached up to his side trying to steady him. He didn't know if he should go on to tell her, he wondered if he would tell anyone. Would it bring back the pain, to mention it? He certainly wasn't going to mention it in his eventual Case report.

Then Stokes asked, 'Messed up?'

He looked back to her, and now she could clearly see his glassy, dull green eyes.

'I saw my wife.'

She pulled her arms back, looking open mouthed at him, she certainly haven't expected that. He found her reaction left them tense, and he suddenly found he did want to explain those last unsettled memories of the evening;

'I know, I know... she's gone, but I could See her, kneeling in front of me as I passed out,' he said this as he raised his pale inscribed arm out, staring intently at the star like symbol on the back of his hand.

'I tried... to reach out and she clasped my hand in hers.' He felt Stokes nod and so continued.

'Everything seemed to be going a bright red, the walls, benches, floors... everything but her, as if it was all ok.' His arm slumped back down, and he blinked a few times.

'I'm sorry, I know it's not possible, and was probably just caused by the blood loss, or a stray hazy memory but I felt different, could feel her hands her breath...she was talking, comforting and, and if she wasn't there, how the hell did I? How did I mange to leave the Church alive?' he finished somewhat abruptly looking crestfallen.

He noted Stokes had thankfully taken her jaw from the floor, to give him a long hard look.

She wondered quickly if her reaction to his story would be the right one, She saw that he had opened up, quite suddenly telling her of a experience last night that he probably would never speak of again, he was taking a risk and knew she had opened up to him like this long ago, She had seen their losses in life as sudden, unfair but a similarity. He would understand, she had reasoned then, he would want to talk, but instead he had ignored the subject, tuned her out, deflected.

She had hated him for it then.

She had.

But then she was a child, and when suddenly she found herself grown, understanding and no longer needed childish ways. She would see him again and she didn't hate him, maybe envied, disliked at times certainly. But know knew with a little shame he hadn't deflected their losses, he took them in, had taken them to heart.

Three years ago she had lost again, this time it was dawn out, she had changed her name, and not being a child, it well and truly hurt like a bitch. But this time she didn't try to deflect the loss; she took it in and kept it close to heart.

Mr Potter, a hero of the last war had joined the Auror department, seconded to the ministry of magic's law enforcement, one week prior. He Seemed a very different creature from his school days, still too thin she noted, still burdened with life's many worries, still harassed by the frankly shocking amount of trouble life had bestowed to him.

But now he was different, she knew that.

His thin body was scarred down one side and tattooed down much of the other, the burden's his life carried were things he openly tried hard to share and discuss, and the cards life dealt him, he now played and worked with as a profession. Of everyone she knew, whatever they had done, none represented the defeated, delicate, victorious and unbelievable times they currently lived in as much as Harry James Potter.

Meanwhile the support he had won; deservedly, after the war, was kicked out from under him.

Haunted, he'd been running from it ever since, and now perhaps following a familiar sign found he was lost, asking for direction. She so decided to go through this with him, look at the map, find a route out and wish him on his way. Given the gravitas, her next words sounded fairly lame;

'Ok, well that is certainly interesting.' Inwardly she cringed at how insincere that sounded and Harry as she guessed, started to retreat, 'dam.'

'Cho look I'm sorry, it was our case whatever Malfoy says and I got you caught in this mess an-'

'Harry I'll stop you there' She, Cho Stokes, interrupted.

'You don't need to blame yourself with what happened, and given the facts, you handled it well.' Cho took a steadying breath, 'now about your wife?'

It was Harry's turn looking gobsmacked

'Even if some of your powers are a mystery to all of us, even you' She cast a glance at the sharp twisting marks running down his side, 'I doubt they had anything to do with what you saw. I think, well I will admit you probably; erm... likely had a delusion... vision even. Due to blood loss and besides that's not what's important.'

'Oh what is?' Harry responded quickly, cutting her off, Cho thought he was a little put out by her derision, but she reasoned if she was going to help him she wasn't going to hold her punches.

'The fact that you saw her.' Again he looked alarmed, and the was a silence for nearly half a minute, as they both collected their thoughts, the clock on the far wall making the couples silence more pronounced.

Then she continued 'you thought you were going to die?'

This time he answered slowly debating with himself how to respond, had he sat against that damp church wall thinking those moments to be his last? 'No... Well maybe... probably.' Yes, in fact in his mind, it was yelling a definite yes.

'And did you have regrets?' Cho asked, he was wondering at the point of her obvious questions.

'Of course I did.' He started, this time something jogged in his head, 'regrets' that word seemed to be what the entire infernal case had amounted too, when it came down to it Harry admitted to himself that was a lesson to take from it, a poignant illustration by John Rance.

'Was she one?' Cho asked quietly. He slowly nodded to this,

'Did you take the job, hoping to push her away, get closure?' about another dozen seconds silence was duly counted off by the clock, and Harry gave slow nod.

Ruefully he smiled, putting his arm up, the scarred one, with a number of small pock marks at the wrist wondering when the drugs had stopped being his escape. Was it the idea that working for the ministry might get him out of remembering the past? It seemed so idiotic now. Indeed since he'd started he had seen no option but be reminded of it, the places the people the events everything in this job was a relapse of memory.

Suddenly he wondered how on earth Ron had convinced him to take the post, 'That Bastard' Ron really was a wily one, making out that it was the little things that mattered, all to win his games. Harry suddenly mused if the whole case had been that to Ron, a slightly more complicated game and Harry his new shiny queen in the field. But of course that realistically was giving the man just a little too much credit. Still, and this scarred Harry, maybe Ron was right?

Harry tensed up a little 'Cho, I'm regretting not handling this better. And with my ability's it shows the Ministry I'm-' She cut him off again; she had grabbed Harry's hand still resting at his side.

'It shows you have a long way to go Harry, after all life is certainly not perfect.'

'...True.'

'After all, this was your first real case, your début wasn't it' Cho smiled at him in the dim light, 'and I think it shows your right where you're needed.'

'What St Mungo's?'

Cho put on a mock frown to this, but looking away back out at the moonlight continued;

'No, the Auror Department Harry'

He suddenly found himself happy, it had been a while. Since he felt this free, this honest. Then as quickly as it had come the pure feeling gave way as Harry wondered, if some of the no doubt vast, medication he had taken today had been the cause, which sullied it, made the feeling hollow. And promptly he found himself regretting his own cynicism.

'You feel down now right?' Cho's light voice cut in, and harry suddenly wondered if the woman was physic given her timing. He knew he could read her mind, but how could she be reading his?

'How did you?'

'Harry, if you keep giving me that blank expression, I'm gona have to ask how your feeling.' She stated simply.

So that's it? He wondered, a simple intuition? He had lately found that trait in her, unnerving.

She fell back to rest in her wheelchair, smiling lightly as the first hints of the dawn fell across the ward. He blankly looked back at her, thinking through his memories' over the last week.

Was this new occupation, good for him?