It was a bright and sunny day. The birds were singin' and flyin' in beautiful dances of happiness, the flowers were filling the air with wonderous perfumes of magical intent, and the ladies were dancin' in the streets happily and without worry. Minnie Mouse was having a very nice afternoon shopping, only stopping by a café near the cyan and cyrstalline waves of the sea in order to rest her feet and drink lemonades of yellow consistency and colouration.
"Ah, this is the life" she said, sipping from a twirling and whirling straw.
But then the bad happened. From above, shined a brilliant and intense golden light, so bright and hot that the glass melted into lava and the umbrellas were set on fire. Clara Cluck's feathers burst into flames, roasting her flesh, while the molten glass was poured down her throat, searing her from the inside. Her eyes exploded in a shower of boiling acidic vitreous humor that caused fourth degree burns on people nearby, and the exploding pulmonary airsacs fanned the flames to consumed her entire body, quickly leaving nothing but bubbling red paste over the bones.
"NO!" shouted Minnie, shielding herself with the table, "Who would do such a thing!?"
"I would! HAW HAW HAW!" said and evil and whore voice from the sky.
Minnie looked and saw. It was...GOLDEN HARP! She turned evil, so she was ugly: all that light made her eyes full of cataracts, crying tears of pus made of gold, her hair was a wild osprey nest, full of guano and rotten fish carcasses, her teeth were yellow and her flesh was full of tumors that grossly mishappened her face and made her boobs huge masses of decomposing flesh. Her shit-encrusted nails ripped out her own womb, her sacred organ of generation, to show that she wished not to create life, but DEATH.
"For many years you evil slut whores stole all the attention from me, and I was left to rot in the basement of forgotten dreams, all the spider webs covering my strings and sealing off my pussy like a tampoon of DARKNESS! But alas I have freed myself thanks to the generous kindness light of MAMA ODIE, so I shall now lay my holy vengeance upon you harlots, and destroy you all for the greater good!"
"The greater good?"
"Yes, the greater good...OF MY CUNT! HAW HAW HAW!"
So Golden Harp fired a power solar laser at Minnie, blowing up most of the café like Fat Man on Nagasaki, but Minnie used her temporal powers to evade. Yes, Minnie made a pact with Chernabog to gain neverending power and beauty at the expense of her soul. Now she is a powerful witch, and took out her clothes and replaced them with ones made from her own hair, which embraced her body tighly and sexily. They were full of lice, ticks and fleas, her skin underneath that fur a disgusting mess full of parasites, entire mats of ticks lodged in her nipples, belly and labia. Botfly larvae made their home all over her body, many maggots bursting from her flesh as adult flies and flying off to attack Golden Harp, but the evil instrument of cacophony detroyed them with sound waves! Oh noes!
"HAW HAW HAW, is this what you call POWER!?" cackled Golden Harpy insultingly, "You are a pathetic little slut full of bugs and disease, so I'm doing the world a favour by ridding it of your pestilence!"
But Minnie wasn't out of tricks just yet. She took out guns and put them on her high heels, and began shooting everywhere. Most of the bullets were deflected by Gold Harp's light force shields and hit bystanders instead, such as Daisy Duck, whose beak and face were completely pulverised.
"No, my best friend died!" cried Minnie sadly and grievingly, "GOLDEN HARP YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"
So Minnie began dancing and prancing whorily, chanting "ARGEDCO", her hair leaving her body, leaving her tainted skin naked. Suddenly a portal opened, and a three headed winged demon saber-tooth cat controlled by her hair appeared. It then bit into Golden Harp's body, the fangs ripping out her carnicerous flesh and tumors, falling on the sea and spawning evil sea monsters that violated mariners for ten thousand years.
"ARGGGHH MINNIE YOUR TRICKS WON'T SAVE YOU THIS TIME!" moaned Golden Harp viciously, the entire rotten mass of tumours she calls her right arm's flesh having been eaten by the monster, revealing oure white bone.
The shen released her strings, and they ripped the demon's body to shreds, the fangs breaking off, the bones shattering into black marrow shards and the flesh utterly ripped off, until it died of gengivitis. Shards of the demon's fangs fell on Goofy's skull, utterly obliterating his lobes, though he was already retarded so it didn't matter much.
"Now Minnie, you will pay for your sins against ME!" cackled Golden Harp prostitutely.
She then focused all her energy on her gaping ventral hole where her womb used to be, and fired a powerful beam of white light that obliterated all of Duckburg! Now Minnie didn't have a chance.
So Minnie used her temporal powers to go back in time. She arrived at the dungeons of the castle ten moons ago. It was a very filthy and ugly dark place, no light but tons of moss and seaweed, swampy black water, rats, cockroaches, woodlice and demons, gnawing on the corpses of forgotten characters. Gold Harp was in the middle of the broken furniture, completely enveloped in spider webs and with termites borrowing on her torso.
"I knew you'd rescue me!" she said faintly, "Thanks to the God!"
But Minnie wasn't there to rescue her, she was there to punish! She chanted enochian foul words, and the ground beneath Gold Harp was glowing with red darkness...A GATE TO HELL OPENED!
"No, please, don't send me to heck, I much dislike demon phallic organs of violation!"
"Shut up you filthy mould bitch, you deserve to be punished for YOUR sins!" said Minnie wisely and righteously.
And so Golden Harp fell to hell, where she was raped for all eternity by foul demons, and she much liked it, because she was a harp and not a human, harps enjoy Satan cum on the strings. Just as the hellgates closed, a bright light appeared. From it came an ugly, evil devil lady with white clothes, no eyes and no teeth (basically like Mama Odie in The Princess And The Frog). It was...MAMA ODIE!
"Darnation, you spoiled my rotten plans you rodent person!" Mama Odie said hatefully, rubbing her wrinkles full of tumors and shit.
"Mama Odie, one day you will suffer for all the attrocities you've commited!" said Minnie, drawing her katana.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, you're a funny little bitch Minnie!" said Mama Odie meanly and sarcastically and evilly, "You will all die, the light will destroy the darkness...FOREVER!"
She then puffed away in a bright flash, but Minnie knew what to do.
"I must call Tiana!"
To be continued?
