My Heart Burns With A Crystal Flame
When Ruelle's handsome tawny owl, Cerise, taps on my window and brings me the news that my beloved older sister is pregnant, I almost collapse with relief. This is the news I have prayed for, ceaselessly, for over a fortnight.
Now that she is pregnant with Cygnus's third child; his third chance at an heir, no one will be taking the slightest notice of me. Thank Merlin. Ruelle has won me an eight month respite before I have to worry about a thing.
Before I have to worry about anyone noticing that my new child doesn't look a thing like its supposed father.
For this child cannot be Titus's. We have not slept together since little Augustus's birth. In fact, we have barely been in the same house. We never liked each other; could scarcely tolerate each other from the start. Now that our duty has been fulfilled and we have a strong and lusty son and heir, we try to stay apart as much as possible. I have retired to the suburbs with the children and Titus spends most of his time in our penthouse apartment near the Ministry.
No, there is only one person who can have fathered my unborn child. Elbereth.
Elbereth. My brother.
My brother; whom I would die for.
My brother, whom I have spread my legs for countless times growing up; especially since my marriage, when I was trapped; as trapped as a songbird in a cage.
I am surprised no one has noticed. But then, no one looks for emotion in a Rosier. And I have been careful. I have kept my head. Even when Titus and I have been locked in the bitterest of arguments, I have never let myself shout what I want to, "I'd rather be Elbereth's whore than your wife!"
For I would. Of course, I would rather be his wife than his whore, but since Society forbids me from being his wife, I would a thousand times rather be his whore than nothing at all. I'd certainly rather be his whore than Titus's wife.
But now my desires have led me into a predicament that is going to be very hard to get out of. There's no way anyone is going to believe that my third child is Titus's.
Unless…If I went away, no one need know I am pregnant at all. I could just be sick; too sick to see anyone but Ruelle. Ruelle would take the child; I'm sure of it. We Rosier sisters would do anything for each other.
Yes. Yes. That is what I will have to do. I will have to pretend to be ill and then go away for a while. Go away, have the child and then give it to Ruelle to bring up as one of her own.
When I get back, seemingly "recovered", life can go on as normal. I can play the same part I have been playing for the past half a dozen years; my part as Titus's wife; Augustus and Agrippina's mother; as Ruelle's sister. As Aunt to her children. No one will ever know the difference.
After all, I play the part to perfection. As I should. I am a member of the House of Ice and Crystal; the blood that runs in my veins is among the Purest in Europe and above all, I am a woman, a woman condemned to forever adore a man that protocol will never let her have. I have three very good reasons for being the most deceitful creature on God's Earth.