Summary:

He wanted to know, why does she kept her pigtails when everyone already knows her real self...?— Nagisa, Kayano and the Act of Disillusionment. Chapter 142 missing moment.

Nagisa was startled, eyes shifting towards the door— the first thing he noticed was her hair was styled back into familiar cat-inspired pigtails.

He doesn't know how to properly react to this piece of information. From his other peripheral vision, he saw the others looked at her with confused gazes that he also probably had.

She ignored them, at least, that's what he thinks so. But maybe she is masking her discomfort— like what she always had done before her and their sensei's past came blowing up on them.

He ignored the lingering doubt surfacing in his mind, like, ah, is she still being sincere to them? Or is it out of nothing else to do? Is this still acting? Is she still acting?

More importantly, would she support his decision on the plan he was gonna tell the rest of the class later...? Or would she laugh at his suggestion and planned to overthrow the notion?

It kind of hurts him— having this kind of indecisive doubt about the friend he thought he knew well enough to stick around with him.

But Kayano is now completely and frustratingly unpredictable— he doesn't know what's real and what's fake anymore.

And some part of him doesn't really want to find out.

"Good morning, Nagisa."

Snapping out of his thoughts, he shifted his gaze towards the now in front of him, Kayano.

He hadn't noticed she had made her way towards their desk— he must had been too deep in thought.

"Kayano," He managed to smile as she did too and watched as she took her usual seat.

There was silence.

Now that she is here— beside him, wearing her pigtails, acting as if the event two weeks before is nothing but a dream made him slightly anxious.

The silence is not something that accompanied them, quite the contrary, Kayano always had a topic to talk about or he has... they always talked about mundane thing but now, he doesn't know what to say.

He couldn't very well ask her, 'Why are you still keeping the pigtails?' Or 'What do you think about today's plan to kill Korosensei.'

The former is extremely forbidden to ask— it will lead to awkward situations and the latter is something he doesn't want to acknowledge, not when he planned something quite the opposite.

"... So, Nagisa!" He was startled by the joy in her voice. He almost flinched— is what she was showing real emotion...? Or is it just another mere fabrication?

Nagisa hates this, he hates not knowing if she is being real or not.

... but he doesn't have the confidence to ask her the inevitable question.

"Hmmm?" He hummed, finally turning his full attention towards her.

And his sapphire hues met her amber ones— his mind remembered when it was pure crimson red, the same color as blood... filled with intense hate, bloodlust and despair.

Kayano shrugged at him and then proceeded to talk to him about the new pudding that was being sold down her street.

Is she really gonna ignore the elephant in the room?

Fine by him, he doesn't know how to react anyway.

Sometime— during the course of their conversation where he was on the verge of forgetting the incident two weeks ago, his eyes roamed around the room and saw the students who always come early— glanced at their direction with confused and wary gazes every once in a while. Not with Nagisa but the girl talking beside him.

That's when he realized that she had completely diverted his mind from thinking about her acting... until now, that is.

She must had saw something in his eyes that stopped her mid-sentence, and fall into silence. Nagisa blinked at this. And briefly closed his eyes and mimicked her sighing form.

"... I'm sorry..." Her voice was almost too soft to hear properly even to the most trained assassins.

"... Kayano." He muttered, his eyes roamed once again towards her hairstyle. He wanted to ask, he really do.

Because quite frankly, Nagisa is tired of not knowing anything.

She took a deep breath again and turned her face towards him, she looked to be contemplating something inside her mind.

And then suddenly, Kayano shifted in her seat so that she was fully facing him— and held out a hand that motioned stop.

Before he could ask what she was doing, "My name is... Yukimura Akari." He was surprised at this, clearly not expecting this development to happen.

She smiled once again at him, "But for the past year, the name Kayano Kaede has somewhat— believe it or not— grown into me." He watched her become hesitant. "Err, you're probably wondering about something, right?"

Nagisa shooked his head. "If you're too uncomfortable, it's okay not to tell me, Kayano." He offered a smile at her direction.

"No," The conviction in her voice made him shut up. "I needed to let this out and you're probably the one I needed to apologize the most after Korosensei."

He let her speak her mind.

"I..." She diverted her gaze towards the hands on her lap. "You probably realized by now that I became close to you for the sole reason of hiding my bloodlust—" He winced at that, hearing that made him feels his heart clenched a bit.

That's right... she used him and their friendship.

He almost forgot about that...

"But," Nagisa watched her looked up to meet his eyes, "Like I said before, over the course of months— this class became the family I lost— and that was probably one of the sole reason I decided to assassinate Korosensei ahead of what my... brother-in-law ordered." She paused. "See, Class-E had slowly ingraved their way to my... heart and in my moment of bloodlust— saw it as a weakness and being affected by the warmness of the students here... that's why I can't wait anymore to kill Korosensei... I am afraid of becoming too attached to them..."

And then she followed by, "The reason I'm retaining this pigtails was probably because I wanted this life— I wanted to be Kayano Kaede, I don't... I don't want to be Yukimura Akari anymore... she... my past, it's nothing looking forward to. My sister... she's long gone now... If I..." She stopped herself from finishing the sentence.

It became quiet between them.

He stared at her, not knowing what to say in this situation.

"Nagisa... I think it's safe to say now, that I do considered you as a friend... if you'd still like to be one...? I can understand if you don't wan—"

"My name is Shiota Nagisa— Shiota-san is too formal and... you can call me Nagisa— attaching '-san' or '-kun' is not really my cup of tea." He grab one of her hands on her lap and shooked them, this time, his smile felt natural. "I want to be your friend... you're Kayano Kaede, right?"

She gawked at him, he almost wanted to congratulate himself for making her the one shock.

And then, he received back a smile— and Nagisa knew, she meant it.

"Call me Kayano, pudding extraordinare, Breast-hating gal and still fails in swimming."

Maybe everyone deserved a second chance, and perhaps— their friendship was still not into shambles.

The silence was comfortable, he noticed she hadn't let go of his hand— he doesn't really mind, it was refreshing to say the least— his heart beats faster than before.

Despite this, his gaze somehow found hers and her face lit up, there's something in her eyes that he couldn't quite describe.

But he supposed, this too, he doesn't mind quite bit.

The sudden voice of Bitch-sensei made them jerked their hand back and shifted their full attention towards her.

A/N: Shut up, I'm still not over about the emotional chapter that is 177 and 178 (I bawled like the baby that I secretly am)— the angst! The misery— the depression! Ugh.

I really did cried especially when Nagisa saw his parents at the graduation ceremony.

Anyway,

You know, the class was pretty stressed and indenial that early in the morning of returning back to school (Ch. 142)— no one was in the mood to disturb them... or talk buuuuuuuttt... here. An omake for you guys;

OMAKE:

The silence was comfortable, he noticed she hadn't let go of his hand— he doesn't really mind, it was refreshing to say the least- his heart beats faster than before.

"Oh, look-y here, already holding hands just two weeks after kissing—? How slow is this progress of yours, Nagisa~?" Nakamura appeared before them and grabbed both their shoulders, the suggestive tone of the blonde made the two of them jerked their hands back and stared at her in pure embarrassment.

"Wh— what— He— I— urrrgh!" His ears registered Kayano's barely pronounced words and saw her face resembled a tomato— which he probably, looked like too.

"Ne, Nagisa, maybe you should improvise your technique with Kayano-chan a bit, a fifteen-hit is something Bitch-sensei isn't really proud of, have some shame."

"KARMA-KUN!" The combined voice of Kayano and his was loud enough for the class to turn their attention to them.

Despite this, his gaze somehow found hers and her face lit up, there's something in her eyes that he couldn't quite describe.

But he supposed, this too, he doesn't mind quite bit.

And then Karma decided to tell in detail how heroic of Nagisa to kiss a 'troubled' maiden like Kayano.