Welcome everyone, to a Tarantino inspired fanfic, The Nefarious Nine! As stated in the description, it's not a crossover, but it is directly inspired by the hit film, The Hateful Eight. This fanfic won't be following the events of the film to a tee, but there will certainly be some similarities. I don't want to give away too much, as part of this fanfic is based on mystery. If you've seen the movie there will be some things that you may see coming, though I doubt it, but if you do start to pick up on something, please don't spoil it for anyone else. This will be like a stylized western/samurai themed story, taking place in something akin to early to mid 1800's. Lastly, I'll be posting on a bi-weekly bases. Thank you so much for reading, and be sure to review.

IMPORTANT NOTE-After calculating the ryo exchange rate and inflation for the time period, (Yes, I actually did that.) I found that any ryo amount I mention would translate to roughly six times as much in American dollars. So basically, one ryo is worth six modern US dollars in this fanfic. Just thought you may want a frame of reference.

SPECIAL THANKS-A special thanks to fellow author acw28, who has been a huge part of developing this fanfic. Much like with my other fanfic, the Red Fox, he's functioning largely like a producer on this story. I'd highly recommend checking out his Naruto, RWBY, and various other stories. My friend stealth8604 let me bounce a few idea off him as well, so I'll give him a shout out too.

FINAL NOTE-This is NOT a Naruto x Fu fanfic, so please, don't ask!

Chapter Soundtrack-America: Horse With No Name

The desert winds of Suna were a cruel and merciless mistress. Even during the times when the sandstorms subsided, a good gust from the dunes could scorch you during the day and freeze you at night. A young man, no older than 20, sat on three corpses in the middle of that desert, puffing away at a cigar in his hand. He had sun kissed blond hair, whisker marks on his cheeks, and deep blue eyes. Lying next to him was a dead horse who'd been shot in the head, thought it looked as though it's leg had been broken before that. As he sat on those bodies, puffing away at that cigar, the young man had nothing to do but wait. Wait and pray someone rode by to help him out of this piss poor situation. As if to answer his prayers, he could see something off in the distance that looked an awful lot like a wagon, "I guess sometimes I do get lucky, assuming I can get a ride from these guys that is…"

Putting out the other half of his cigar so he could smoke it later, the blond stood up and brushed some of the sand off from himself, walking out a little past the bodies. Kicking up plenty of sand along the way, the wagon was soon in front of him, lead by a team of six horses with a man covered by massive red straw hat holding the reigns. The man halted the horses when he saw the young man in his path, noting the pile of dead men and the horse with a bullet hole in it. He asked in gruff voice, "Who the hell are you? And what happened to all them?"

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki," The young man replied, a wide grin on his face, "I'm an assassin taking in a few bodies so that I can get my pay. Don't worry, I'm legal. I'll get you my papers in a second if you want them. I was taking these three here, some gang members by the names of Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan, into Suna so that I could get my money. My horse got startled by a snake and ended up getting his leg caught in a hole. He broke it and I've got no way to get him back to Suna, so I had to put him down. Too bad, cause he was a damn good horse. Mind if I ask you your name?"

It was hard to gauge the man's reaction without being able to see his face, but the tone of his voice didn't change, "You can call me Han. I'm guess you were hoping to get a ride with us, weren't ya?"

Naruto nodded, looking out on the horizon, "Considering I can see a sandstorm coming a few miles behind us, I'm gonna say yeah, I'd like a ride."

"If it were just me, I'd say show me the papers, give some ryos, and let's get the hell in there, but it's not just not me," Han explained, motioning to the back of his wagon, "My passenger paid a lot of money for private ride with him and his prisoner, with special emphasis on the privacy part. If want to ride with us, you'll have to talk him into it."

Talking people into things was a speciality of Naruto's, so that wasn't an issue for him, "In that case, I'll go and have a word with your passenger. Shouldn't take too long."

"Hold on one second," Han said as Naruto was about to walk past him. When the young man turned, he found he was face to face with a double barreled shotgun, "I need you hand me any guns and any blades you've got on you. His cargo's precious, so my passenger wants me to be careful. Nothing personal."

Naruto hated the idea of not being armed to the teeth, but he didn't have much of a choice. He'd die if he was left out here alone. With a reluctant groan, he pulled out two revolvers, a large hunting knife, and a tanto blade, handing them all to Han, who then put away his shotgun. Once he was finished, he continues his walk towards the wagon's door, ready to have a word with this passenger. He had barely gotten any closer when he heard, "Hold it right there blondie! Take one step further, and I'll put a knife in your throat! Does Han have your weapons?"

This was starting to get ridiculous, "Yeah, he's got them. Can we speed this whole thing up? In case you haven't noticed, that sandstorm that's coming for us is only getting closer."

"I've noticed," The voice replied, a shining blade now visible through the wagon's window, "Now, slowly, and I mean sloooowly, you walk up her and let me see your face. After that, you explain to me who you are and we'll see if I'll let you in here. Got it?"

Naruto growled, "Yeah, I got it."

He took a few steps forward, starting to make out the face of the man in the wagon. He had dark skin, a goatee, and wore a bandana over his forehead, along with some dark, round sunglasses over his eyes. The two recognized each other instinctively, but the man in the wagon spoke first, "Naruto Uzumaki? Fuck me, is that you bro?"

"Killer Bee, you big bastard," Naruto identified, "Talk about a small world. What's it been, a year since you and me fought in the same trenches?"

The man, now known as Killer Bee, put his blade away, "Something like that, yeah. Hard to believe the war was that long ago. What in the hell are you doing all the way out here for?"

"I'm still in the assassin business, taking a few guys in for a nice pay day," Naruto replied, taking some papers out of his pocket, "If you'll let me come over, I'll show you their paperwork. I'm hoping to get a ride with you guys, and I can pay too. Each one of three morons I killed was worth 25,000 ryo."

Bee motioned him over, allowing Naruto to close the gap and hand him the papers. After looking them over one by one, he handed them back, still with pondering the situation, "Well, usually any war bro of mine is someone I'd give a ride to, no questions asked. You have to understand though, I've got a bitch chained to my wrist worth a whole lot of money. 100,000 ryo to be exact."

Naruto's jaw just about hit the ground, "Damn! What'd she do? Kill a Kage?"

"May as well have," Bee fired back, a loud gust of wind blowing behind him as he spoke, "Damn, storm's getting closer, and I don't wanna get caught in it. We'd better hurry this up."

It was good to see the man still had a decent head on his shoulders, "Neither of us wanna end up dead, so I'll make you a deal. If you let me ride with you guys to wherever it is you're going, Suna I'm guessing, I'll pay for part of the cost to get us there, and I promise to let Han keep my weapons. You and I both know I can't kill you with my hands alone. Sound fair to you?"

"I guess it does," Bee responded after a moment, "Have Han help you get those bodies of yours up on the roof, and then we'll move out. We're gonna have to stop at shop pretty soon, since there's no way our asses are gonna get to Suna before that sandstorm hits. I'd help, but I gotta stayed chained to this bitch. Believe me, it's not any more fun that what you'll be doing."

Though he hadn't met the girl, Naruto had a feeling that was true. As he turned to go and grab the bodies, he heard a female voice from inside the wagon, "Hold on, you aren't really gonna let an Uzumaki travel with us, are you? Don't you know they're, agh!"

A loud smacking sound could be heard emanating from the wagon, followed by Bee's bellowing voice, "What I know is that he's friend of mine, and you'd better respect him, you nasty brat!"

"Ha, sounds like she's having a rough time," Naruto said with a laugh, "This should be a fun ride. Han, if you'd be so kind, we've got a few dead bodies to move."

With the three stiffs tied firmly up on the roof, the wagon ride commened once more, with one new passenger in tow. Naruto had heard of the driver, Han, before as he came highly recommended all around the elemental nations. The man was one hell of driver who hailed from the Hidden Rock village, though now he lived pretty much anywhere his wagon took him. Not only could he drive a six horse team through just about any terrain, but he was also tough as nails, able to defend his wagon from any bandits who'd try and take it down. Naruto didn't feel so much as a bump as he sat back in the wagon, eyeing the tan, green haired girl in front of him. She had some blood on her nose, likely from when Bee had smacked her. So far she'd done nothing but give Naruto the stink eye, which he didn't mind. It was something he'd grown accustomed to, "So Bee, who is this girl? She's gotta be pretty famous, right? I mean, it's not everyday someone who looks as young as me gets a 100,000 ryo bounty on her head."

Bee took out a long stemmed pipe from his coat pocket and lit it before beginning the conversation, "Yeah, you've probably heard of her. She's Fu, of the Hidden Waterfall village."

"Wait, Fu? As in 'Fuck you' Fu, leader of that all female gang that's been tearing half the freaking Elemental Nations for the past two years? That Fu?" Naruto asked, noting the girl's smirk as he rattled off her reputation, "Well shit, that explains the price on her head. They've been looking for her for a long time."

What he'd said was true, but it wasn't the reason she was worth so much, "Actually, until a couple of weeks ago, she was only worth 50,000 ryo. A little low, but I think they wanted to go easy on her since she's a woman. She did something real nasty that made all the Villages double the price on her head. Tell the man, Fu. I want you to have to say it yourself."

Fu rolled her eyes, "Want me to the tell the Uzumaki bastard what I did? Fine. When I was passing through the Hidden Leaf village, I ran into some stuck up bitch from the Hyuuga clan. The plan was to kidnap her and put her up for a big ass ransom. I think her name was Hinata. She struggled though, and one thing lead to another and I uh...kinda slit her throat."

"You slit the throat of the Hyuuga clan heiress?" Naruto asked, wided eyed. He half remembered meeting the girl a handful of times back when he lived in the Hidden Leaf, "You must be out of your damn mind! That's the richest clan in the world!"

Another eye roll, "I wouldn't have gotten much cash out of them if they were a poor clan, now would I? Go big or go home, that's what I always say. Worst part of this whole thing is, they added a 50,000 ryo bonus for bringing me in alive. That means I've gotta deal with people trying to drag me in like a wet dog...hey Bee, you just gonna sit there and puff away in front of me, or are you gonna hook me up?"

Bee groaned, reaching into his vest pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes, along with a small cigarette holder. He lit the cigarette once it was in the holder, handing it to Fu, "If you didn't get so damn pissy when you don't have these, I swear I'd cut you off."

"For a girl who's chained to your wrist, she sure seems to have a lot of control over you," Naruto remarked, deciding that if the two of them were going to smoke, he would too. Lighting the unsmoked half of his cigar, he continued, "You don't seem afraid to smack the shit out of her though, so I guess there's that. Hold up, I just remembered something!"

Both of the other passengers jumped at his excitement, "What's that?'

"Bee, you never told me how you got your nickname," Naruto recalled, "You promised during the last battle of the war that if we made it out alive, you'd tell me. Don't tell me you're gonna break your promise."

The man relaxed a bit at this, "Is that all? Nah, I'll keep my promise if you keep yours. You still got the letter?'

Naruto padded his shirt pocket, "Of course I've got it. I never leave home without this thing!"

"What letter?" Fu asked, cutting into the conversation, "And what war are guys even talking about? There hasn't been a war between the villages in what, 30 years?"

A common misconception, but far from the truth, as Naruto soon explained, "There's always some kinda war going on around here, whether you know it or not. The one we're talking about was short though, barely lasting six months, but boy oh boy, was it bloody!"

Bee continued for him, "Got that right. A new village was popping up, calling themselves the Hidden Sound, who were trying to recruit rouge soldiers and criminals to start up a military dictatorship. To make a long story short, the major villages didn't like it, so they started a militia made up of any volunteers from any of the villages. Me and Naruto both get paid to kill people as it is, so we figured why not? Those Sound bastards were tough, but we made through with only a couple of scars."

"Too bad," Fu scoffed, earning a scowl from both assassins, "If they'd killed you, then I wouldn't be in this mess."

Naruto couldn't resist, "And I never would've gotten to meet you. Guess we both would've lucked out."

That got Bee laughing, "Haha, how do you like them bells, bitch? They sound real pretty to me. Nice one Uzumaki. So, you gonna let me see that letter or what?"

"Sure, as long as you don't do any damage to it. I lost the other ones," Naruto said, pulling an envelope out of pocket of the thin coat he was wearing and handing it to Bee, "Careful, I don't take it out of the envelope much."

Fu eyed the papers as Bee took them out the envelope, "Hold on, you never told me who it's from."

"There may have been a reason for that," Naruto growled, taking the last puff from his cigar, "If you must know, it's from the beginning once head of the Hidden Leaf village, the great Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi."

Hiruzen Sarutobi was a living legend; one of the few people still alive who'd met the first set of Kage's who'd founded the Hidden Villages. Fu raised an eyebrow when Naruto so much as mentioned the name, "Bullshit. Why would the Third Hokage be sending a damn Uzumaki a letter?"

Being called a lair was not something Naruto took lightly, "Most of my childhood was spent in the Hidden Leaf, and for whatever reason, he took an interest in me. Probably because I was getting in trouble all the time so he had to scold a lot. Eventually, we ended up as friends, and even after I left the Leaf to become an assassin, we'd still communicate through letters and stuff. I lost most of them in fire last year, but that one was saved since I always keep it on me. It's my favorite out of all of them."

"'May the Will of Fire continued to burn within you'...boy, that line gets me," Bee said, reading the last line of letter out loud, "How many of these were there?"

Naruto couldn't even remember, "A lot, to say the least. I really wish that wasn't the only one left. He passed away about six months ago."

Both of the other passengers watched as Naruto got quite all of sudden, his mood turning introspective, "I miss the old bastard...can't believe he's gone."

"Sorry bro, I hadn't heard he died," Bee apologized, turning to Fu, "Did you hear that? One of the last great leaders is gone, and we're sitting in front of his freaking pen pal! What do you think about that?"

Fu didn't respond. She looked the letter up and down, unimpressed. With a snort, she hawked a wad of spit onto the front page, shocking everyone in the wagon. Naruto's eyes shot wide, and he instantly jetted out his fist, punching Fu directly in the jaw. The momentum sent her flying into the door, smashing it open and sending her rolling onto the ground. Thanks to the chain on her wrist, Bee went flying out with her, screaming as he did, "Ah, fuck!"

Slamming on the roof wagon, Naruto started screaming, "Han, hold up! We lost a couple passengers!"

"Woah boys," Han could be heard outside as he jerked on the reins of the horses. With the wagon halted, Naruto jumped out and ran towards Bee and Fu, who were lying on the ground.

Bee held onto his arm for dear life, "Son of a bitch Naruto, what are you trying to do? Rip off my damn arm?"

Leaping a bit passed the two sandy individuals to grab his letter, which was about to blow away, Naruto yelled back, "Hey, I didn't tell you to shove my letter in her face! You know how much this thing means to me!"

"You almost broke my jaw, you fucker," Fu said, spitting some blood from her mouth, "Is that how Uzumaki's treat their lady's?"

Naruto kicked sand in Fu's face, growling, "No, but you ain't a lady now are ya?"

Looking over the letter, he heard Bee called over, "Is it alright?"

"Lucky for her, she didn't do too much damage to it," Naruto replied, folding it up and returning it to his pocket, "If she had ruined it, I probably would've killed her."

Bee didn't seem to hate that idea, "As long as you paid me the extra 50,000 ryos, I would've let ya. Come on, let's forget all this and get back in the wagon. Once we're getting away from the storm, I'll tell ya how I got my nickname."

That would've been fine, but when Naruto looked over that the wagon, he saw Han had his shotgun out and cocked, "Um, Bee, we might have a problem."

"Oh for shit's sake, what now?" Bee asked, yanking his prisoner with him as he walked towards his driver, "This day keeps getting better and better."

As the group grew closer to Han, they could hear a raspy male voice explaining himself, "My name is Gaara, from the Hidden Sand. I'm the new Kazekage, and I was hoping to get a ride with you, and whoever it is you're carrying, to somewhere safe where I can stay."

Once this new man was visible, they saw a man who looked to be in his twenties, with a thin build, and red hair, topped of with the symbol for 'Love' tattooed on his forehead. Han didn't seem to buy that he was a Kage, "You're the new leader of the Hidden Sand? Why are you way out in the middle of nowhere?"

"I like to take walks," The young man responded, looking out at the terrain around them, "The silence and wind on my face are good for clearing my head. Sometimes, I lose track of time. I really can get lost out here…"

By now the entire group was in front of Gaara, all asking in unison, "In the desert?"

"Yes."

Bee shook his head and spun around, "As if we'd buy that. Look buddy, we've got work to do, so go and try your con act on somebody else."

None of that passenger's argued, with Naruto seeming to outright agree, "You'd better hurry and find someplace to hunker down in Mr. 'Kazekage.' That sandstorms coming on fast."

"Mr. Driver," Gaara called, causing them all to look back, "Would you please confirm for me that you just heard me tell them that I'm the Sand Village's Kazekage and that I required a ride?"

Han had no idea where he was going with this, "Yes, I heard you. What of it?"

"It's just that, based on those bodies on roof, it would seem that you're transporting assassins," Gaara went on, his voice never changing an octave, "That would mean you're likely going to end up in the Hidden Sand soon so that they can get paid. When you arrive in the Hidden Sand, I expect you to tell the officials there that I was left to die out here by these assassins, which I can assure you, will result in them being executed. Do I make myself clear?"

Instead of Han, it was Bee who responded, "You lying little bastard. I'll bet every ryo this bitch is worth that this isn't even the first time you've pulled this trick!"

Gaara showed no sign of being offended by his words, "I don't know for certain how much the young lady is worth, but you'd lose those ryos. Believe what you want, but I am the Kazekage of the Hidden Sand, and you'll end up dead if you leave me out here."

"Hate to say it Bee, since I don't believe him anymore than you do, but he's kinda got us backed into a corner," Naruto reasoned, "We've got the room, so we may as well play it safe, right?"

This whole situation had Bee wanting to yank out his hair. He mulled it over for a moment, then addressed their new companion, "You got any weapons on you, Gaara?"

Gaara pointed to his belt, which had a small holster with a compartment for throwing knives and one for a revolver, "Just these, and they're staying on me. I won't go unprotected."

"If that's true, then you'll have to wear handcuffs," Bee said, grabbing a pair from his pocket, "Cause lord knows I don't trust you."

That wasn't happening if Gaara had anything to say about it, "As I said, I'm the leader of my village. I will not enter it in chains."

Bee was about to tell him that he'd die if he didn't before remembering why he was in this situation in the first place. He looked at Naruto, then to Han, nodding mostly to himself, "Han, give Naruto back his iron. Uzumaki, if you help me defend my ryos, I'll help you defend yours. I suppose if I have to trust somebody, an old war bro ain't a bad choice."

"Hey, I'm not gonna complain about being armed again," Naruto said with a shrug, grabbing his various weapons from the driver, "I'll keep the barrel of gun right on Gaara until we get to whatever shop we're staying at."

It seemed Gaara could live with that, because he began to walk to the wagon, "Glad we got all that sorted out. Shall we continue on our little journey then?"

"Oh great, another asshole for us to ride with," Fu complained as she was dragged by Bee back into the wagon, "Are we sure we'll have enough room for you guys to keep you dick measuring competition going?"

The wagon had become tight on space and high on tension. Naruto was true to his word, with his revolver pointing directly to Gaara's temple in case he decide to try anything funny. Fu grumbled until Bee lit her another cigarette for no other reason than to shut her up. It was silent in the wagon for some time, until Naruto finally grew bored of it and asked, "So Killer Bee, you gonna tell me how you got that nickname, or what?"

Bee was off in his little world at the moment, "Hm? Ah, the nickname. Right, I still haven't told you about that. Well, you know what my real name is, don't ya?"

"It's Kirabi, right?" Naruto asked, which Bee nodded to confirm, "Okay, so they just turned Kirabi into Killer Bee because they sound the same?"

That was only a small part of it, "Yes and no. My adoptive brother is the head of the Hidden Cloud, the Raikage they call it up there. Me and him were a team of assassin's before he took the job. They called us the A-B assassin team, since his name was actually A, and my name has B right in it. Our father wasn't a real creative guy. Well, after he took the job, I kept being an assassin, but I needed a new title. B didn't make much sense all by itself, so I added something to it. Killer Bee sounds like Kirabi, and it wasn't that big of a change to my old name. So, just like that, I became the mighty Killer Bee."

Naruto thought it was a pretty neat story, but they soon discovered their female passenger didn't, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. The name's not even scary. Makes you sound more silly than threatening."

"You think so?" Bee asked, quickly following the question up with a swift elbow strike to Fu's nose, making the woman cry out in pain, "Well I think you should shut hell up!"

It looked like Fu was fighting not to reach over and strangle her captor. While Bee waited for some kind of response, she just stared, shaking in anger. Then, out of the clear blue, she smiled, and began to laugh. It was a small, sinister laugh that chilled the bones of every other passenger. She wiped the blood from her face and turned to look out the window, still smiling all the time.

Gaara was the first to shrug it off, "Naruto, I thought I heard Bee refer to you as an Uzumaki earlier. So, are you one of the final remaining members of that once proud bloodline?"

"As far as I know, I'm the last Uzumaki," Naruto replied, a tad off put by the way he'd phrased the question, "Can you speak like a normal person please?"

The manner in which he spoke was far from Gaara's mind at that moment, "I see, and are these two aware of the history surrounding you family?"

Naruto could see Bee raised an eyebrow, while Fu said nothing, "I think she has an idea, but Bee, I honestly don't know if he does or not."

"If you're talking about your whole clan being slaughter, I already know," Bee remarked, "Hell, who didn't hear about that?"

Fu piped in, not even bothering to look at them, "He's not talking about that, he's talking about why they got killed off and why anyone who knows much about them won't trust them."

This part of the story Bee had never gotten before, so Naruto elaborated for him, "You know how I've got these whisker marks on cheeks? That's actually a sort of tattoo all Uzumaki's are given at birth. Our clan once worshiped the great Kyuubi Kitsune, a god associated with trickery and intelligence. By the time I was born, that had passed, but most of the traditions that came with it were still going strong. There's a whole legend people tell about it."

"That's cool and all, but what does it have to do with your clan being untrusted and killed off?" Bee puzzled, as he was interested in the story, but more interested in the results.

Naruto continued, "I'm getting to that, it all has to do with the legend. This next part I know is true. At one point, hundreds of years ago, the Uzumaki's had a massive fortune in the form of various treasures, mostly made of precious metals and gems. Lots of people coveted that treasure, and ransacked the clan to get at it. Over the following decade, the clan waged wars and a had a few assassination planned out to get their treasure back. A rumor got started that worshiping the Kyuubi gave them dark powers, and people were superstitious back then, so it stuck. People who still remember the myth hate the Uzumaki clan to this day, even though they were doing nothing but taking back what was rightfully theirs."

"That's one way to look at," Fu said through her teeth, "Another way is that all you Uzumaki's are good for is dirty fucking tricks. Back when I still lived in the Hidden Waterfall, we had a couple of Uzumaki's stop by looking for a place to stay. The elder let them in, and those bastards ransacked half the town!"

Though he didn't know for sure that the story was true, Naruto went along with it anyways, "Maybe they did, but that doesn't prove anything about the Uzumaki clan. So we have a few dicks in our clan? Who doesn't?"

Bee was growing tired of these digressions, "Fu, would leave him alone so he can tell the story? I'm getting interested in this."

Naruto waved it off, "It's fine. I won't let her get under my skin. So anyways, after we got all the treasure back, the clan kept ahold of it for a long time, and we made even more money since we had the best place to fish in pretty much the entire world. It took a lot to defend the Uzumaki fortune, but the Uzumaki's love a challange. By the time I was born, my dad was the biggest thing stopping people from trying to take the loot. You might have heard of him, Minato Namikaze."

"Minato Namikaze?" Gaara repeated, his face showing the faintest bit of intrigue, "He came up with war strategies that are still being used in the Hidden Sand. I studied him greatly over the years, and I've seen the few pictures there are of him floating around in the world. I'll admit, you do bare a striking resemblance."

That was something Naruto had been hearing all his life, at least from those who knew his father, "Yeah, I know he was a pretty big deal in certain circles. My Namikaze family members liked him to visit a lot, mostly to try and con him. Thing was though, my dad was best weapon the clan had, so without him, we were left wide open to an attack. Some Hidden Rock villagers knew it too, so they figured out when he'd be gone one day, gathered up a small army, against their leader's orders, and waged war on the Uzumaki's. Without my dad there help figure out a battle plan, they got slaughtered. Almost every Uzumaki was murdered, and they stole everything valuable that wasn't nailed down. My first vivid memory is of my home being burned to the ground and my mother lying on her back with a Rock villager standing over her. My second vivid memory is me holding a bloody knife after stabbing that bastard to death."

Bee let loose a low whistle, "Damn kid, you had it rough. How the hell do ya bounce back from that?"

"You move to the Hidden Leaf and learn to kill people for money," Naruto answered, having played the entire thing through in his head dozens of times, "My mother barely survived and my dad got back before the thieves got everything. He killed what Rock villagers were still there, split up what was left of fortune with the survivors, and we moved to the new village. Like I said, I got into the some trouble there, but mostly kept my head down until I got the chance to move away. The real trouble I got into though, came after my dad was about to be named the new Hokage. Right before that could happen, he mysteriously died, vomiting blood. He was poisoned, along with my mother. They couldn't prove it, but I knew it was the no good Namikaze side of the family. Reason they did it was so that they would have control of me and take what they could of our share of the treasure. Most of it was sold off, but I hid a few things away so they couldn't get to them. Once I got old enough though, I got my revenge on those bastards! I trained so hard that by the time I was ready, they never knew what hit them. Killed all of them without much trouble. Most of villagers wanted me executed for it, but the Third managed to find some obscure law that made it so I only got banished. So I left, and I was hoping there might be a few more Uzumaki's out there for me to see once I did, but I didn't find so much as a cousin."

That didn't seem to break Fu's heart, "Good, let them die out. Bunch of worthless, backstabbing, no good-"

Naruto turned his revolver away from Gaara and pointed it at Fu, who promptly shut up. The supposed Kazekage told her, "Not that I want that gun pointed back at me, but you may want consider shutting your mouth before our friend here shoots it off."

"The man's got point," Bee said, more concerned about his money than he was about the girl, "How about you stop with the social commentary for now?"

There was plenty more that Fu wanted to say, but she didn't feel it would be worth the trouble. She rested her head in her hand and leaned on the window, looking at the raging sandstorm that would soon be upon them. The rest of the ride went by in silence, with only the howling of the oncoming winds to fill their eardrums.

The only place for miles around that had could provide them with any amount of shelter was a small shop owned by the one time Leaf villager by the name of Teuchi. He'd made the best ramen in the Hidden Leaf, but found himself less than fond of those who lived there. So, he set up shop in a location that was smack dab in the middle of the route between the Sand and the Leaf, creating a place where weary travelers could stop in, get some food and drink, and rest for awhile. Since it was virtually the only place for people to stop in the desert, he did well for himself. Teuchi's Tavern, as it was called, was currently where Han was pulling the wagon filled with colorful passengers into.

"Woah," Han called to the horses, pulling hard on reins. As he brought the wagon to a stop, he saw a blonde haired woman with dark eyes exit the shop, "Good afternoon madam. Is Teuchi in there? We need to talk with him about staying here until the sandstorm passes over."

Catching a glimpse of the wagon full of people, the woman responded, "Teuchi doesn't own this place anymore. He sold it me about a week ago. My name's Yugito, and this is my place now."

Naruto poked his head out of the wagon window, "Teuchi sold this place? Really? I figured he'd take it with him to his grave."

"Well he didn't," Yugito fired back, "I don't really care why, all I know is he didn't want it anymore, so I scooped it up. What've you got, five people in total? Hm...it'll be tighter than I'd like, but I think we have just enough room for you guys in there. There's a barn behind this place for you to put the horses away in, but you probably already knew that if you've stopped here before. Hey, what's that big lump on roof?"

The following response from Naruto was a blunt one, "Dead bodies. I'm an assassin, bringing them in for a payday. Don't worry, they won't hurt anybody."

Yugito turned back to the shop, "Whatever. Get the horses stored in the barn and get in here. I don't need that sandstorm to hit while I'm waiting for your dumbasses."

"Teuchi would usually help you get the horses in the barn," Naruto replied, making Yugito glance at him with narrowed eyes, "I'm just saying."

She continued walking back in the shop, "Well I'm not Teuchi. If want help with the horses, get one of your passenger to do it."

Han thought carefully, as he trusted only a small group of people with his prize horses. Bee had Fu chained to him, and Gaara was still an unknown, but Naruto had been relatively straightforward with him so far. Plus, he needed to store his bodies anyways, "Naruto, let these other guys get off and then help me out with the horses. Then I'll help you move the stiffs up top. Deal?"

"Sounds fair to me," Naruto replied, climbing out of the wagon and walking up front to sit with Han, "Between the two of us, it shouldn't take too long."

Bee and Gaara both jumped out, dragging Fu with them, and allowed Han and Naruto to head off to the barn. The group turned and entered the tavern, eager to at last be somewhere safe. It wouldn't be long now before the sandstorm was upon them.

As the travelers were entering the tavern they were unaware that they were being watched. A lone figure laid on the crest of a sand dune a ways away, silently looking through a telescope. Just as silently another person creeped beside the first and asked, "Are we ready to go?"

The first person shook their head, "Not yet, the wagon just got there. It'll be awhile before we strike. Looks like they've got some extra passengers too. We might hav eto make some changes."

The second figure nodded, accepting the answer, "I'm sure we'll figure it out." A moment passed, then, looking at the approaching sandstorm, they commented, "We're probably going to need to sit tight in the tent for a while anyway."

"Great, just what I need. To be stuck in an enclosed space with the rookie and the rich bitch."

"Oh calm down Mr. Grumpy pants, if you behave I'll give you a treat."

The first person turned to the second with a deadpan expression, "You know once we free the boss we're going to have to be much more desecrate about everything."

This seemed to sadden the companion as they asked, "You mean we're going to have to stop, don't you?"

In response, the first person smirked and replied, "Now I never said that..."

"Looks more like a shack than a tavern," Gaara remarked as he walked inside, "Though I must admit, it does have a sort of homey feel to it."

The building was decently sized, likely just big enough to give everyone there a tiny bit of breathing room, and made entirely out of wood. There was a bar on the left wall, with a wall of liquor behind it, along with a stove that currently had a pot boiling away on it. A community table that could seat about ten people was just off center, neatly tucked away by the fire. By said fireplace was a table with a shogi board on it with a chair on each side. Sitting in those chairs, playing a game together, was a man in his late forties with red hair and beard on the right, and a young man who looked to be eighteen with messy grey hair and scar down his right eye on the left. Finally, tucked away against the wall were two beds, one of which had a black haired man in his twenties laying in it, a flute next to him.

Bee walked up to the two men playing shogi, Fu close behind him, and introduced himself, "My name's Bee, and this tramp behind me is my prisoner, Fu. You can talk to me, but don't talk to her. I don't like staying under a roof with people I don't know, and I don't know you two, so...who are ya?"

"My name's Roshi," The man with a the large beard said, "And you sir, are a vulture. Killer Bee, I've heard of you! You pick bones off the flesh of society and profit from it. Leave me alone. I have no desire to talk to you."

That was just fine with Bee, "Fair enough. What about you, with the scar? What do they call ya bro?"

"Well, it certainly isn't 'bro, I can tell you that much," The young man grumbled, moving one of his pieces, "My name is Yagura, I'm from the Hidden Mist village. I'm supposed to deliver a message to some shopkeeper in the Hidden Sand. It's boring as hell since I'm stuck in this storm. Since Roshi was so rude, I'll tell you about him myself. He was from the Hidden Rock as part of their military, but got kicked out for disobeying orders and tearing apart some village. Whoever the guy on the bed is, he's still sleeping. We thought it'd be impolite to wake him up."

Fu wasn't too concerned about that, "Hey, fucker with the flute, wake up!"

The 'fucker with the flute' slowly opened his eyes and sat up, stretching a bit before saying with a yawn, "I'm up. Did someone want me to play a song or something?"

"Not exactly," Bee replied, walking up to him, "My name is Bee, I was just introducing myself to everyone. I don't like being around a bunch of strangers."

A nod came from the man, "Understandable my man, understandable indeed. The name's Utakata, and I am an entertainer. I've played this flute in every great village in the world! My business is music and my muse is life itself! So, who's that pretty young thing behind you, hm?"

"Her name is Fu, and you only think she's pretty because she hasn't opened her mouth," Be responded, earning yet another glare from the girl, "She's my prisoner."

Utakata frowned, "Prisoner? My oh my, isn't that dreadful? A pretty girl like you, off to the gallows. Perhaps I'll write a melody for it. Is it just you and your 'prisoner' here?"

Bee shook his head, "Nope, we've got a few others traveling with us. My driver, Han, is out in the barn along with a bro of mine named Naruto. Gaara's around here somewhere."

"Well, that's more people than I ever figured would show up in a place like this," Utakata commented, lying back down, "Oh well, I suppose I'll have to be talented enough to entertain all of you."

When he finished speaking, Naruto and Han entered the establishment, the sand on their shoulders indicating that storm had just arrived. Naruto pushed the door behind them closed, but when he reached for a latch to lock it with, he found it was busted off, "Who the hell busted this? It'd be fine if there wasn't any wind, but we've got fucking storm coming! No way is this gonna hold up against that!"

Han saw a hammer, some boards, and some nails in a bucket against the wall only a few feet away, so ran over and grabbed them, returning to nail the door shut, "There, it should close quite nicely now. So then, I don't know about you, but I need something to drink that has a little bite to it."

"I might get something like that in a bit," Naruto remarked, looking around the room at the eight others who were staying there, "Nine people locked away together in this tavern? Oh boy, won't this be fun…