So LND is out, and by God what a failure. The music is alright, but there's no way to save that plot. Heck, the lyrics are practically begging to be parodied! And so without further ado, I give you my version of The Beauty Underneath. Maestro, goth metal music please…[Note: Sorry, for the text jam, the site won't let me put the spaces *sigh*]
THE HORROR UNDERNEATH
Andrew Lloyd Webber (as the Phantom):
I know you're wondering how
I could have fallen so low,
And reduce POTO
To a laughable porno.
As if Christine would go back!
Or Erik would drop her flat!
I agree, 'twas a spree
In the horror underneath.
But I'll still make a success
People wanted to see some sex,
Plus my music is a hit
Who'll notice the plot is shit?
Audience: Us.
ALW/ Phantom: In my work, Raoul's an ass
It's like that so just don't ask
Do not weep for my need
For the horror underneath.
Madame Giry's a psycho
And sweet Meg is now a ho'
Just agree, there's money
In the horror underneath.
Who cares if everyone's OOC?
Who cares if I rape Chagny?
Or destroy the two Girys?
I'll do worse for more money!
Audience: Yes!
It's all so horrible…
So sad and horrible…
Everything's just as you said...
ALW/P: Wait for the metal song,
Don't ask how it belongs
In this Broadway comedy.
It's just an anomaly
And it's so creepy!
A: The one where you meet your child
And sound like a pedophile,
Wanting to give a "taste"
Of the "beauty underneath"?
And the way he's screaming yes!
Like in the wildest throes of sex!
This whole song is just wrong,
Full of horror underneath!
Both: And the ruin won't stop there
But at this point no one will care,
Let's say that we make a list
Of the horrors of this disc?
A: It will be horrible
P: You think so?
A: Almost too horrible...
Both: Are you ready for the show?
P: I'll make a lot of cash. A mountain full of cash.
A: How has it come down to this?
B: My most sacred love story
Spat on for cash!
P: Raoul's a boozer, (No) an abuser (No!)
A victim of the horror underneath,
He's a gambler (God!), a bad father (Arrrg!)
His soul's torn by the horror underneath.
Giry's a bitch (What?), pimps her daughter, (Wtf!)
That's the truth of the horror underneath.
You'll accept it (No way), you'll embrace it (You wish!),
Give your brain to the horror underneath.
And Christine dies! Killed by Meg!
Godawful is the horror underneath!
You'll accept it! (Refund us!) You'll embrace it! (Fuck you!)
Soak yourself in the horror under -
SCREAM as the audience realizes they have been ripped off.
I hope it made you laugh. Thyme In Her Eyes (my wonderful beta…I could never have done it without her! Thyme, you rock!) is working on a parodied version of Beneath a Moonless Sky and I'm thinking of doing Why Does She Love Me too, so stay tuned.