"Not that one...that one."
Her soft voice keeps echoing in my mind. I punch my pillow into another shape, but I can't seem to get comfortable.
Why didn't she say anything before? Well, I know why, she explained that this afternoon...but how couldn't I have seen it? Didn't I though? When she asked me if there were any reason I could think of that she shouldn't marry Peter? Weren't her eyes beseaching me? What if I had said it? What if I had said… because I'm in love with you. What if I had marched right up those stairs and taken her into my arms and kissed her? Would she have pushed me away? Or pulled me in?
Why am I still here and not with her? Jeez. Well, I know why. I want to give her some space. The ache in my chest is telling me that that space is not going to be long, first thing in the morning I am going to do something about this! Coming to this conclusion calms down the anxiety in me, but starts a whole new feeling - and i find myself drifting to sleep with a crazy grin on my face.
"Marry me?" she's so close, and this time there is nothing holding me back, I can smell the fruity shampoo she uses, her warm eyes are gazing at me with pure happiness reborn after years of loneliness.
"Yeah" she whispers, and my heart falls out of my chest. "I love you" she says, the soft tone of her voice washes over me like a warm tide. "I love you back"
No more time to waste, its time to claim this woman with my lips. As I lean down, bringing my face close to hers, she strokes my cheek with her cold fingers sending jolts of thunder to my spine and into my legs: I have to lock them to make sure they do not buckle. The slightest caress of breath before our lips finally touch. Soft, sweet and home. i feel her arms slide up around my shoulders i want to tug her up out of her chair, to wrap her against my frame and warm her with my love.
Distracted by the family she giggles and it fills my heart with joy to know that i can give her this as well. But then i can't dwell on it, because i haven't had my fill of touching her, so i lean in once again.