This story does not fit any where into the timeline of the show. I don't own any of the characters apart from my OC.

Enjoy!

Chapter One - Welcome To The Group

I looked around the dull diner, studying each small detail in complete boredom. I was bent over, leaning on my hand on top of the counter, trying to stop my eyes from looking at the clock. I was fifteen minutes off the end of my shift. If I could make it that long without getting a customer, I would be fine. I could go home, pull my hair up into a stupid looking ponytail, put on something comfortable and take off these goddamn high heels. Before this job, I had never worn high heels. But finding a job was difficult, and according to the manager of this diner, appearance was everything. The conditions of this godawful job were high-heels, a full face of make-up, a short dress and flirting. Yes, flirting. I had barely believed it myself when the manager had said it so casually in the interview. Apparently, around here that's how it goes. You look pretty and you flirt, they eat it up and they pay. Money meant survival and my goal was to survive. My eyes slid lazily to the clock and I observed that I now had ten minutes left. I straightened up and smoothed down my skirt as customers entered the rustic, yet still somehow slightly modern, cafe. Two men sat down on a four seater table. I plastered on my tip-winning smile and strode over to where two men had sat down. I managed to look confident, even though I was cautious and terrified with every step I took in the mountains of hell on my feet. I mustered my fake but authentic southern twang and squared my shoulders.

"Hey y'all. My name's Nissa, I'll be looking after you two lovely boys today" I winked at the one with the beard, clearly spotting that he was far more interested on what was on my menu then the one he was currently reading. Sometimes I was surprised by my ability to easily lie, to pretend to be someone that I'm nothing like. 'Nissa', the name I adopted with the job, was someone very different from Clarissa.

"Hello Sweetheart" I knew he wanted to flirt. I cast him a sickly sweet smile and my eyes glance over to the other man, who is clearly not interested in my act. I frown but quickly cover it up, normally this act worked on everyone - they are clearly not from around here.

"What can I get you cutiepie" I turned my attention back to other man. He had hard eyes, as if nothing in the world could surprise or hurt him. He had careful stubble scattered long his jawline and around his mouth. He had a smug smile on but It doesn't seem to take permanent residence on his face, making it seem less harsh. He begins to tell me his order and I take note of it quickly, all the while remaining in character. I turn to the other boy, who seems kind but forlorn. He gives me his order and I smile at him again.

"Is that all I can get you two?" I say in an upbeat, jolly voice. They nod and I continue to plaster the smile on my face.

"Can I grab your name, sweetie?" I ask the responsive one, who smiles back at me.

"I'm Dean" he introduces himself. My eyes move to the other one,

"and you, honey?" I ask sweetly.

"Sam" he smiles awkwardly at me and in that short exchange I know that he is younger than Dean.

"Say, you two brothers?" I ask conversationally, making sure I do a good job.

"Yeah, yeah we are" Dean replies, looking up at me with guilty innocent eyes. I try not to laugh at his intentions and go to walk away.

"I'll be back with your orders, Sam and Dean" I call behind my shoulder, walking towards the cash register and putting their orders in before handing the scrap of paper to Roy, our cook. I go behind the bar to get the two drinks, eyeing the clock and trying not to sigh. I'd have to stay until they left. But that did hold the promise of a tip, which was always useful to have. I grabbed the refreshments before me and sashayed back over to their table, keeping my act up the whole time.

"Alright, here are y'alls drinks. For you Dean" I hand him a bottled beer.

"And for you, Sam" I hand him a soda, for some reason resisting the urge to call him 'Sammy'. Part of my character was to give people nicknames and although he didn't seem cold, he also didn't seem in need of a nickname.

"Thanks" Sam says kindly, taking the drink and placing it on the table.

"No problem darlin'. So where'd you two hail from?" I ask, smoothing down the back of my dress and addressing the two boys.

"Everywhere and nowhere" Dean answered cryptically, I smile at him seductively, knowing that he's completely up for the bait.

"Sounds a lil' secretive handsome" I leaned over onto the chair opposite them, knowing that it revealed some of my cleavage. God, I hated this part of the job.

"Maybe I'm a secretive guy" I glanced over to Sam and one look told me he was used to this. He had already excused himself from the conversation.

"You can tell me all your secrets" I leaned a little closer to Dean, almost whispering. He looked up at me, playing my game.

"Maybe you should tell me yours" he winked at me and I let out a breathy laugh, straightening up and striding away, knowing that he would be staring after me. Hook, line and sinker. I made my way into the kitchen, greeting Roy and grabbing the two plates of food that were now on the metal bar, so they remained heated. I nodded my head in a fleeting goodbye to Roy.

"I'm going home when these two are done. Amber will be in soon" I shout to him, he smiles and nods before I exit the kitchen and move towards the two brothers, placing down their food.

"There you go, is there anything else I can get y'all?" I look between the two boys inquisitively.

"This is great, thank you" Sam smiled at me, signalling that I can go. I nod at them before gliding over to the counter, I saw them begin to talk in hushed voices and allowed myself, for one fleeting moment, to wonder what it was they were so secretive about. But then I shook myself out of it and began to tidy up the counter for Amber. A couple who had just paid their check got up and began to leave, I looked up and smiled at them.

"Y'all stay safe now" I call, they send back a chorus of goodbyes and I wave. When they have left, my hand flops down and I glance at the clock yet again. It's just gone ten minutes past. I withhold a sigh and decide to check up on Roy. Maybe Amber is already here and I can finally get off shift. I enter the kitchen and immediately know that something is wrong. Roy is not humming his normal tunes and I can't smell anything cooking. Maybe he's gone to the toilet? That must be it. Clearly Amber isn't here yet, I actually let out the sigh this time before emerging from the kitchen back out into the bar. I go back to tidying up the counter, wondering what the hell is taking Amber so long. I don't bother to look up when the bell rings, signalling another customer has entered. I finish wiping the top of the counter before I chuck down the cloth and look up to greet the person.

"Howdy Sir, how can I help ya today?" I look up to meet the face of a familiar yet distant person. I take a short step back, sharply breathing in.

"I'm here for a take away" He says, his voice sharp. I pull my gaze away from him, shaking my head to snap out of it.

"'Course. What can I getcha?" When I look back up, my act is in place, that sickly sweet smile stuck on my face.

"Look, sweetheart, cut the crap." I look at him, startled and I stumble back a bit.

"What?" my voice comes out shaky and confused.

"I'm only gonna ask once. Come with me. Now" I take another step back, this time in fear.

"What? No. I think you should leave" I hate how scared my voice sounds. He turns his head to the side and then looks at me, this time his eyes black. I nearly scream but I can't seem to.

"I told you I was only gonna ask once. Now, I take" His eyes were flooded with black, making him immediately inhuman. He thrust out his hand and I was suddenly hurtling towards him. This time, I could scream and boy did I scream. I was nearly over the counter, almost in his hands, when I was suddenly dropped. I am quick enough to see one of the boys who I had served holding out his hand before I clatter to the ground with a thump. The other boy, Dean, comes running to me and grabs me. I slide backwards along the floor with him as I watch the man jerk spastically, like he had been electrocuted. My hand is over my mouth and my eyes are wide with fear. The body slumps forward. My shaking hands are still over my mouth and Dean is knelt over me, shielding me from whatever else could happen, but he was looking at Sam - who I now realise was holding a knife.

"What the hell was that?" I ask, my voice panicked and afraid.

"That, was a demon. The real question is, what did it want with you?" Dean turned to me, speaking in a matter of fact tone.

"He…It said it wanted me to come with it?" My tone ends quizzically.

"What does it want with you" Sam asked, as puzzled as me. I shook my head, staring at the floor.

"I have no idea" My fists are clenched in fear, half of me wishing they would just leave and the other half desperate to cling onto the man in front of me and never let go.

"What…I…" I had no words. I couldn't form a coherent thought with all the questions whizzing around my head.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions and we will answer them all soon, but right now we have to go" Dean starts to move and I reach out to grab him recklessly. He looks at me, surprised, but he must see the fear in my eyes because his gaze softens.

"I'm…" my voice is barely a whisper.

"I'm afraid" I voice reluctantly. He kneels down to look me in the eyes.

"I know. It's honestly ok to be afraid. But we've gotta get you somewhere safe before more of them" he points to the body on the floor "come for you" he finishes.

"Uh…ok…ok" I nod my head. Dean helps me to my feet and we start to leave.

"Is there anyone you need to tell? Anything you need to get?" Sam asks me, I'm clinging to my own arms insecurely.

"No, no one I need to talk to. If I can just get my bag from the back room then I don't need anything else" Sam nods at me and I see them exchange a look but I ignore it and shuffle to the back room. As I pick up my bag and my jacket, I wonder in horror what happened to Roy and Amber. I want to find them, scream at them to never come back here. But despite my desire to help them, I am still too frightened. Too scared for myself to help anyone else. I patter back into the main dining area, still in shock.

"You ready to go?" I nod, wondering what the hell I'm doing. I don't know these people but I'm just trusting them.

"Where are we going?" I ask earnestly.

"I'm not sure. Maybe the next town over? We have friend who might be able to give us some answers" Dean answers. I run my hand over my face and hug myself.

"Are you going to hurt me?" I don't say it innocently or sadly - I just sound tired.

"No. I promise, that is the last thing we want" I look into Dean's eyes, judging him based on them. He looks so sincere, so honest, that I nod once and begin to move out of the door. We make our way over to a black chevy, I managed to feel impressed by it before I'm again flooded with terror and shock. What the hell is all this? How can I suddenly be in so much danger? I sigh greatly, watching the two men routinely get into the car. I follow, not even apprehensively. I climb into the back seat, hugging my bag to my stomach. We drive in silence. I stare out the window, trying to stop tears from welling up in my eyes. I keep running over what happened. Feeling haunted by those soulless black eyes. Hunted by his words. What could he possibly want with me? I'm nothing. I've never been important before, why now? I shake my head, trying to knock out the thoughts and i quickly wipe my eyes incase any stray tears escaped. Nothing has changed. I never stay in one place long. I get bored, I move around. No family, no permanent friends, just me. I can feel Dean checking on me via his dashboard mirror but I ignore his inquisitive eyes. I just focus on the blur of landscape passing us by, my eyes blinking calmly despite my inner turmoil. The country around me speeds by and before I know it, we were in the next town over. I had no idea what it was called or what direction we even went in. I was just following these people blindly, too tired and scared to question them. We pulled into the parking lot of a motel and the two boys jumped out, Dean already going to get a room. I moved out of the car a lot slower than the other two, still clutching my bag and looking around.

"So Nissa, how are you doing?" My head snaps to Sam and I stare at him like I wasn't expecting him to be there.

"Clarissa" I mumble.

"Sorry, what was that?" Sam steps closer and I clear my throat.

"Clarissa. My name is Clarissa" I repeat, trying my best to snap out of the daze I've been in.

"Well, Clarissa. How are you feeling?" He sounds grim, like he's not expecting a good answer.

"Honestly, I've been better. But I'm alive, which is good" I attempt to put a positive spin on it. Sam smiles a little at my answer.

"I'm sorry you've had to up and leave. We'll try and get you home as soon as we can" He says kindly. I shrug.

"It's ok. I move around a lot. I have nothing there worth going back to" I reply honestly. I can see Sam think about this but before he can open his mouth, Dean is walking back over to us holding a key out in front of him. I follow them to a room and we enter it warily, as though we're expecting to be ambushed. When we're not, we settle into the room. I walk over to a chair and flop onto it, placing my bag down next to me but holding on to the strap.

"What do we do now?" I ask the room, leaving the question open.

"You should call Cas" Sam tells Dean and I watch him nod and pull out his phone. Sam turns to me, leaning his forearms on his knees and bending his back slightly.

"Clarissa. Is there anything, I mean anything at all, that you can think of that would make you a target? Any suspicious deaths, weird happenings, anything at all that's happened to you that might cause them to come after you?" I immediately shake my head.

"No. There's nothing. I'm an only child, my dad died in the army and my mum died a few years ago from cancer. Nothing weird, nothing out of the ordinary. This is the first time anything like this has happened" I tell him honestly. Sam looks to Dean and then back at me. I close my eyes briefly but when I open them, there is another man in the room. I am startled slightly but his normal appearance gives me some small comfort.

"Hey Cas. This girl got attacked by a demon. It wasn't random, they said they wanted her for something. Any ideas?" Dean informs him and the third man wheels around to look at me. I suddenly feel very small.

"You're not human" He states and I look at him in pure shock.

"What? Yes I am" Sam and Dean yet again exchange looks.

"Cas, I'm pretty sure she's clean" Sam says, but now he sounds wary. I look between the two brothers in fear.

"Please, I'm human. I always have been" I plead.

"She's partly human. Whatever else she is? It's…dormant" I look up at the third man, who is donned in a tan trench coat.

"What? What do you mean?" I stammer, not sure If I make sense.

"So what is she? Is she a demon, an angel, what?" Dean insists. The man, Cas, turns to address the brothers now.

"I don't know" He responds simply. I look up at the three in utter fear.

"I'm…I'm human. I swear I'm human, I've always been human. What else could I be?" I was aware that my voice was growing higher and I made an effort to calm down. Cas looked very uncomfortable and the two brothers looked wary.

"Look, please, you have to believe me. Is there anything you can do to check that I'm human" I ask hopefully. Sam glances at Dean before speaking up.

"There's a few things we can do to check if you're human-" he begins but is cut off by Mr Serious.

"She's not human" Cas insists and Sam sighs exasperatedly.

"To check she not a demon then" he compromises. I try to ignore how casually they're treating this. Honestly, I was scared out of my mind but they all seemed so calm. I can't afford to freak out right now. I watch anxiously as Dean wanders over to his duffel bag, pulling out a tin container usually filled with some old whiskey or run.

"What're you gonna get me drunk now? Can demons not get drunk?" I tried to play off my fear and tune in to my usual sarcasm but I couldn't prevent the physical wince that came with the word 'demons'.

"No, that's not quite it" Sam said almost humorously but I can see that he's ready to pounce, to subdue me if needed. I am torn from my observations by cold water cascading over my head. I shiver at the shock and shake my head to try and remove some of the liquid from my face.

"What the f-"

"Holy water, dangerous to demons. She's clean" Dean addresses me before facing Sam and Cas while I wipe my face.

"So what is she?" The three of them seem to be locked in a conversational circle and I feel slightly indignant at my exclusion from the discussion.

"I don't know" Cas sounds glum, like he's used to delivering bad news. My eyes move between the men, trying to ignore the thumping slowly rising in my head.

"Well how the hell do we find out" I blink hard, closing my eyes forcefully in an attempt to push out the pain.

"I don't know"

"We need to know what we're dealing with dammit"

"There has to be a way to find out"

"Well if you think of anything, be sure to let us know"

"Dean"

"Sorry if I hurt your feelings twinkle toes"

"We're all stressed here. The worst thing we can do is shove reckless comments at each other"

"Shut up Cas"

"DEAN" I couldn't take it anymore. My head felt ready to burst, and at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it did.

"BE QUIET…Please just be quiet" I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry, it's just my head really hurts and I…" I trail off, not really knowing where I was going with that sentence. Cas moves towards me and I stare at him apprehensively. He reaches a hand out and places it on my head. The pain slowly subsides but it's replaced with an uncomfortable itching sensation in my mind. My eyes closed unwillingly and I tried to zone in on why my mind felt this way. I felt a sudden jolt which made me physically jump before it all came flooding back.

Flashes of memories. A man, a woman. Wait, no, that woman was me. Face after face, bodies, tears, blood, dirt. But then there was soft pillows, large rooms, people bowing. Millions of memories crashing down on me. What did it mean? Who am I? What am I? I can feel pressure building as the memories keep flowing.

Jessica

Esme

Scarlett

Amber

Emily

Calla

Maia

Alyssa

All the names I'd had. Everyone I've ever been. It was back to haunt me, it was all back in my mind. The knowledge, the visions, the memories were pushing at the boundaries of my mind. The force was so bad I could feel a scream rip from my throat and I was clawing at my head in a useless attempt to escape everything running through my brain. I felt like I was going to burst. Like I was going to explode into thousands of tiny pieces. Then suddenly, it all stopped.

Silence.

I apprehensively fluttered my eyes open. I was on the floor, Sam and Dean were stood over me with concern clouding their faces. Cas was kneeling beside me, moving his arms away from me.

"What the-" I cough in the middle of my sentence and they spring into action. Dean gently lifts me up into a sitting position and Sam gets onto his knees with a bottle of water. He passes it to me and I drink some, making it easier to talk.

"There's a block on your mind, or, there was" Cas explains gravely.

"It was concealing your true identity. I can't tell who put it there or why" His gravelly voice holds the attention of the room. I don't know what to say.

"So do we know what she is now?" Dean looks up at his friend as he moves his arms away from holding me up.

"I might be wrong. I hope I am. But if I'm not, then it would appear that your friend is a reincarnated god" He sounds terrified even as he says it. My eyes widen and I draw my knees up to my chin. This cannot be real. There's no way. But there was no way the man in the diner was real, but it happened. Apparently unreal is the norm here.

"A reincarnated god?" Dean sounds skeptical. I focus on a spot in the carpet and just stare at it.

"It would appear so" Cas maintains his negative tone.

"We've dealt with gods before, they aren't so bad" Sam sounds like he forcing the hope in his words.

"Yeah, except this one doesn't remember being a god, we don't know what the hell her powers are or what she can do and to top it all off, we still have no idea why the hell what demons want with her" I flinch slightly at Dean's harsh tone.

"I'm right here" I mumble. I've finally had enough of being referred to like I'm not sat in the middle of them.

"What?" Sam asks gently.

"I'm right here" this time my voice is louder and clearer.

"I've been here this whole time and you've all been referring to me like I'm on another planet. I get it, you're in a bad situation but I'm in the goddamn middle of it. So please, feel free to walk out of that door and leave me here like an unexploded bomb or stay and help me work out what the hell is going on" I say firmly, confidently. The men have the decency to look sheepish. Cas looks a little impressed but I ignore it.

"You're right, we're sorry" Sam says reasonably. I nod, accepting his gesture.

"You can begin by telling me whole the hell this is" I point to Cas, the seemingly magic man.

"I am Castiel. I am an angel of the lord" he says robotically. I stare at him for a moment.

"An angel?" I repeat.

"Yes" Castiel nods simply. I nod back, ingesting the information before me.

"My life is such a mess" I mutter, more to myself.

"Welcome to the group" Dean tosses sarcastically at me. I want to stick my tongue out at him but I refrain from completing the ridiculously childish motion, knowing his comment wasn't meant maliciously.

"Ok, so we can start by finding out which god you are-were" Dean rises from his position on the floor and offers me a hand. I take it and pull myself up, straightening my uniform.

"That's going to be a little more difficult. You might experience some flashbacks" Cas addresses me. I nod.

"Ok. Is there any way to know when? Or to prepare?" I ask hopefully.

"Unfortunately, no, not really" I nod again, feeling the blood drain out of my face. We're shaken out of our huddle by a knock at the door. The three men are immediately suspicious. Dean stands up, grabbing a knife from his bag and approaching the door. The three of us stand back, anticipating what might burst through. Dean glances towards us once before slowly opening the door. He quickly stashes the knife in his pocket and we all relax a bit.

"We've had some calls that there's been screaming from this room, mind explaining what's going on?" a man's voice sounds. I exchange a look with Sam as Dean stumbles over his words.

"Yes, well, you see we" I sigh, knowing I'll regret this later. I push past the two men and trek over to Dean.

"Hey baby, what's going on?" I put my hands on his shoulders and pretend to hang off him, but slightly to the right so I hide Cas and Sam. Dean turns his head to the side and gives me 'what are you doing' look. I just smile widely at him.

"This man was concerned about the screaming babe" he plays along, to my relief.

"Ohhhh" I pretend to be embarrassed and look down at the floor before looking up.

"Well, you see, we're kinda on our honey moon and well this one is just such a sexy man" I move my hand to his chest and move my leg to cover his affectionately.

"I'm so sorry about it though Sir. We'll be sure to keep it down next time" I say sincerely to the now blushing man.

"Yes, well, thank you m'am"' he stammers out and I smile at him.

"You have a good night now" I call out as he begins to move away.

"You two too" he calls back.

"We will" I wave as he walks towards the lobby of the motel. I maintain my smile as I pull Dean back and close the door. I put my back to it and release a deep breath, completely dropping my character. I lift my gaze to meet the surprised faces of the room.

"The hell was that" Dean sounds angry but like he's not quite sure why he's angry.

"'That' was me saving your asses" I potter over to one of the beds and flop down onto it.

"Look, I was the one who was screaming and that was the best excuse for it. Plus, he'd be too uncomfortable to really question it" I explain. Dean moves over to the chair I was previously sat on.

"That was actually pretty impressive" Sam does sound genuinely impressed.

"It was nothing" I shrug off the praise. We wait in silence for something, anything at this point.

"So, what's the plan?" Dean asks the room. We all just kind of look at each other, not sure. Cas steps forward.

"I could perhaps try and release some of your memories like I previously did?" I slide a little further away from him, holding up my hands.

"Uh, I think I'll pass. If it's going to hurt as much as it just did, I'll wait for a flashback" I say firmly, not really wanting to relive whatever the hell happened to me.

"Well, while we wait for a flashback or some clue to who you really are, we could start by trying to find out what the demon wanted with you?" Sam offers sensibly.

"Seems like a start" Dean agrees, bracing himself to stand up. I nod in agreement, also moving to get up.

"Woah, woah, woah, the hell do you think you're doing?" Dean holds out a hand in protest.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm coming with you" I retort quickly, moving my hands to hold my elbows so I'm almost hugging myself.

"Like hell you are" he says stubbornly.

"I'm not a child, I don't need to be babysat. I can handle myself. Besides, I'm a lot safer with you than alone in this motel room" I argue back, just as stubborn.

"She's right" Sam doesn't sound like he likes it but he can't disagree.

"Yeah, she is. Cas, watch her. She doesn't leave this room until we get back, you hear me" Cas nods once to his friend.

"Of course, Dean. We'll be here" Sam casts me an almost apologetic look before grabbing his coat and following his brother out of the door. I sigh loudly, making my protests known. Cas awkwardly sits on the chair previously occupied by Dean. I try to sit in a stubborn silence, watching the clock icily. But after almost twenty minutes I can barely stand the sound of the ticking. I sigh again.

"What should we do?" I ask, watching the man's eyes dart to me quickly. He had appeared to be in deep thought up until now but the sight of him in deep thought was too boring to leave him be.

"I don't mind, as long as it's in this room" Cas' eyes are deadly seriously and his face is like stone. I huff and fall back on the bed, thinking about what we could do to pass the time. I suddenly launch myself up, startling Cas as I pace over to the cupboard. I yank it open and get onto the tips of my toes to look on the shelf at the top.

"Yes" I say quietly, finding what I was looking for.

"Did you find out what you'd like to do?" Cas questions softly from his seat. I grin at him, pulling the box down.

"Yes, yes I did" I say excitedly.

"What is it?" Cas sounds almost fearful at my sudden animated personality.

"Cas, have you ever played a board game?" I ask, walking over to him.

"No" he replies warily.

"This is gonna be fun"