A/N: HEYYYYYYYYYY. Guess who's back after one million years of procrastinating! *Runs and hides in closet* *Lol literally tho* *Ok i just hinted something I'm leaving now* iM sO sOrRy i haven't posted in sosoosos long literally what is wrong with me i went on like vacation so I don't rlly blame myself there i mean ya girl deserves a break cmon but i should've done it sooner iM sOrRY aH if you're new here you probably have no idea what i'm talking ab so WELCOME but if not then um y'all know I'm a whore for reviews and proud of it but do i even deserve them? *sobs* but if you must know i was actually making an outline for this story so it comes out pErfEcTlY ok but if you're new I'm a fucking whore for reviews so plz come at me :) Ok this AN literally makes no sense bc I'm a bipolar psychopath so HAPPY READING INSTEAD on with the story :).

Disclaimer: Welcome back old bitch ass friend

Buzz buzz buzz.

Alec stirred, shifting in bed and rubbing his eyes unconsciously.

BUZZ.

He jolted awake suddenly, jerking at the loud, uncomfortable sound of the strong doorbell to his apartment buzzing. Pressing his fist firmly into his eyes, Alec swung his feet out of bed, with much effort, to rise on his cold bedroom floor and face whoever was out there at this hour. What was the hour, anyway?

3:01.

Fuck. Small fear knotted it's way into his chest, even though he knew no one could get in unless he buzzed them in. But still, why would anyone even have the need—

BUZZ. Buzz buzz buzz buzz bu—

"Coming!" Alec bellowed, voice slightly hoarse from sleep as he palmed his way through the darkness to the living room. After tumbling over his coach and knocking over a lamp, he finally managed to find the light switch and hurriedly make it to his door. Outside was pouring heavy rain, pattering against the windows and trying to come inside like the person at his door. Forceful wind shook his tiny flat, shuddering across the sky, groaning and shaking trees. Alec shivered, missing the warm comfort of his covers, and pressed the small red button.

"Hello?" He scolded the small anxiety that leaked into his voice. He cleared his throat. "Who is it?"

He heard the rain get louder through the poor mechanics, almost staticy as it slammed against the machine on the other side. He could've sworn he heard a sniffle, maybe a trembling whimper, before a small voice whispered, "Magnus,"

Alec's heart leaped and swooped at the same time. "Oh." He couldn't help but say. Was Magnus hurt? Why was he outside all alone? And why so late at night? "Oh, oh, um, sorry, here—come on up."

He buzzed him up, brushing out his hair with his fingers and trying to shake the last bit of sleep out of him to show himself somewhat approachable for Magnus.

Just as he finished that thought, his poor, weak wooden door burst open to reveal a small, sad, pathetic looking Magnus. Alec couldn't help but study him strangely; he had never seen him like this.

He was slouched over, shoulders down in a way that looked like it was difficult to stand in the first place. He was wearing what Alec assumed was his nightly wear—long, blue silk pants with a white tank top. It was oddly simple for Magnus, even if it was just for wearing to sleep. Something wasn't right. His hair looked like a beehive, makeup smeared viciously across his face as if someone had taken a large paintbrush and smeared it down his cheeks on purpose. His hands were clenching and unclenching by his sides, fingers shaking ever so slightly. He was only wearing old, black flip flops. Yes, black. And of course, he was completely, head to toe, drenched, in rainwater. His shirt clung to his chest like a vice, water dripping down his neck and arms, squelching awkwardly in his pants every time he moved and making him shiver uncontrollably.

And his eyes. Alec felt a hard, cold fist close around his heart just at the sight of something so sad. They looked sadder then if he had seen a puppy die in front of him. No, not only that, his very own puppy. Alec knew would never forget the look on his face.

"Alexander," Magnus choked, breathing harshly as though trying to hold back tears. He probably was.

It took a few seconds before Alec could regain his voice and control of his muscles. "Oh my god, Magnus you—what—how did this—" Alec screwed his eyes shut, shaking his head at being such an idiot. He immediately pulled Magnus into a crushing hug, breathing gratingly into his neck as he threw his arms around his neck. He tried to also ignore the surely smell of whiskey as he inhaled his scent. Magnus was too young to drink, but Alec sometimes knew that Magnus drank to chase away his problems. Alec tried to comfort him as best he could, but damn that man was tall. He felt like a child standing up next to him.

Magnus just breathed out a sob, shaky arms slowly reaching up to embrace his back. "I'm—sorry," Magnus croaked.

"Wha—" Alec breathed, pulling away and staring as his jaw dropped dramatically. "How could you literally be sor—oh, you idiot—let's just—let's just get you into some dry clothes, now, oh god—"

Quickly, Alec towed Magnus by his hand through his dim, depressing living room to his own bedroom, which he illuminated in light as soon as they stepped inside. Magnus blinked a few times, adjusting to the new light while pouting a little bit and Alec cursed how his heart fluttered at how endearing the small gesture was.

"Here, just sit—sit on the bed for a second and I'm gonna—I'll try to find you something—" Alec wanted to slap himself and how much he was stammering; he still couldn't quite wrap his head around the whole situation.

Mainly what the hell was happening.

Magnus wasn't like this. Never. He was a grown, mature man, he never came crying to people's apartments like he was in some sort of danger. And he couldn't possibly be in any, or else he would've said it already. However, Alec was too scared to ask any questions now, afraid it was going to set off something in Magnus and he would start crying again. For now, he would just act as a good distraction. Alec lamely sorted through his small variety of black shirts, turtlenecks, tank tops, you name it. He eventually settled on a dark green shirt tucked in the back of his closet that Izzy had given him for his birthday, (and he had, without admitting, never worn) and some grey sweatpants just for Magnus. He turned back to the bed, stopping in his tracks.

Magnus had peeled off his shirt, and just like every time Alec had had the torture of seeing Magnus shirtless, he couldn't quite seem to ever find his voice. The perfect golden skin, sparkling from the clear, treacherous, rainwater in half the moonlight half the lightbulb hanging in his room. All Alec wanted to do was throw him down on the bed and have his way with him, all night long.

He salvitated at the thought.

But, quickly shaking his head and looking away, that wasn't exactly an option, so he just thrust the clothes out in front of him without looking and mumbled something about using the bathroom. He shuffled to his tiny restroom, closing and locking the door behind him before leaning up against it with a sigh.

It was not fair that Magnus affected him this much.

Alec thrust his boring clothes in Magnus's hands, quickly turning away and running off. Magnus sighed, shucking off his dripping pants as well as he wrestled on some dry clothes.

It had all happened so fast, he thought.

He had been working late at the mall, simply locking up the store as Catrina went out to a date. He had in fact just been locking the door when he arrived. James.

Magnus remembered how happy he had been to see him. A surprise visit from your boyfriend after a long day at work. And he remembered the way Jem shook it off, ignoring him mostly and saying they needed to talk when they got back to Magnus's apartment. Magnus had thought it was nothing. After all, they were in a serious relationship—the longest one Magnus had ever been it, proudly—and he hadn't gotten any signs from Jem that it was going downhill, so he assumed it was some joke about his cat or something.

Chairman Meow never liked Jem. Jem never liked Chairman Meow, and he never missed an opportunity to say it. But Magnus had just thought that was cute.

Never date someone your cat doesn't like. He knew those words from his mother would come back and haunt him.

It had started to rain on the walk back from H&M. Jem refused to meet his eye, wasn't holding his hand. Before they had the chance to even make it into the apartment, he turned around, a dreadful look in his eyes, and said the words.

It only did take five words didn't it?

"I'm breaking up with you,"

A sharp sting behind his eyes was the next thing Magnus felt, much like he had felt many, many other times that very night. He straightened himself out in Alec's sweats, sniffing and wiping his eyes. No, he wouldn't cry anymore. Enough.

"You ready?" Alec's voice called out from inside the bathroom. Magnus barked a small laugh.

"Since when have you ever left a room when I've had to change?"

Alec's messy black curls popped into view, a shy smile bloomed on his face. "Sorry." He still didn't answer the question. "I got you some wipes. For—for your face." He indicated to his own face and handed him the wipes, which Magnus took and studied.

"Hmm, I'm not sure these are for your face," He pursed his lips. "But thanks for the gesture." Alec smiled softly, taking them back. He looked down at the wet, off-brand wipes, fiddling them between his fingers again and again.

"So," he started with a deep breath. "Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Alec threw the wipes on the bed, looking back up at Magnus.

Magnus sighed, running his fingers through his sloppy, wet hair while walking over to the bed. He caught a glance of himself in the mirror next to Alec's closet, and tried not to think about how he looked, in front of Alec. He sat with a deep slouch, a crippling sadness which made Alec want to run over to him and give him a big hug.

"It's…About James. He—He decided he wanted to, out of the blue, end things with us. Tonight," Magnus hung his head like a guilty dog. Alec stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. It took him a few seconds to find his voice again.

"Magnus, I—I'm so, so sorry," Alec sat down next to him, wrapping his arms snuggly around his shoulders. "I—If there is anything I can do, god, I feel terrible—"

"Why?" Magnus scoffed quietly. "You didn't do anything wrong. Just that bastard."

Alec swallowed, nodding a little too fast. "Right, right of course, um, what a bastard," Magnus smiled fondly at him, trying to play along, but Alec decided to actually try and do something, to help.

His eyebrows furrowed, as if he was concentrating. "No," Alec said slowly. "What a bastard." He looked up at Magnus again. "Magnus, you shouldn't let him get to you like this. Which—uh—sorry, it—it isn't an insult, but what I'm trying to say is that you deserve someone so much better than that son of a bitch. Someone who, who appreciates you and wakes up everyday, thanking the universe that their with you in the first place. You work so hard, and you're so kind, and generous, and smart. You deserve to come home to a nice bottle of champagne with a special someone waiting for you in bed," Alec's cheeks grew redder as Magnus's heart swelled. "Someone who makes you happier then you've ever been, and someone who shows it. Jem didn't fucking show it. He was a human-sized asshole. You deserve better the best. Someone who treats you right." Magnus gasps a little, shaking his head as tears well up in his eyes again. Alec reads it wrong, of course.

"S—sorry for sappy hour, I—I didn't mean to soun—"

"No. No Alec that was…You're the sweetest. C'mere," Magnus's face twisted into something of sadness again just as he pulled Alec into a crushing hug.

Someone like me.

Alec couldn't stop a few of his own tears from falling out. For a totally different reason.

Sunlight peeked from behind thin curtains, finally hitting Magnus in the eye. He sighed, rolling over while rubbing at his crusty eyes. He felt oddly relaxed, for a moment.

Until all the events of last night came crashing back like a tidal wave.

He suddenly felt the need to vomit.

"I know you're in love with Alec. Admit it, Magnus."

Magnus squeezed his eyes tightly, as if that would erase what James had said. He dropped his arms beside him, feeling around blindly before realizing he was in an empty bed. That was definitely not his own.

Finally, he blinked a few times, adjusting to the light of the room. Sitting up, the smell of waffles started drifting from beyond the half open bedroom door. He leaned back against the pillows again, just relieved he wasn't left alone. He wasn't sure if he would be able to handle it.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang followed by a string of shit fuck fuck shit's. Magnus stifled a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. Slowly, he pushed himself up and swung his legs onto the cold, hardwood floor, checking the time on his phone. 7:05.

Fuck.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, shitty cunt, fuck—" Magnus scrambled out of bed, throwing off the covers running into the kitchen. He quickly realized his was only wearing one of Alec's old t-shirts, which, because of how much…Bulkier Alec was than him was big enough that it covered all the parts that needed to be covered.

He wondered for a small second how the hell he had gotten into that.

He didn't have the time, however, for wondering now.

"Alec," He gasped, nearly crashing into him. "Alec I'm going to be late for work, I'm gonna get fired! Fuck, Alec—" Alec was in the middle of pouring waffle batter onto his old waffle maker, trying to focus on both the waffle and Magnus.

"Magnus, Magnus it's okay. Go get dressed and I'll finish making breakfast."

"Ok," He said in a breath, rushing back to the bedroom before turning around and storming back into the kitchen. "Um, Alec? Tiny problem. Very tiny. I don't have anything to wear." Alec looked over his shoulder worriedly.

"Just—look through my closet and find something," Magnus snorted, crossing his arms.

"Over my dead body," He replied hotly.

Alec glared at him. "Do you wanna get fired?"

Magnus chewed his lip. "Good point. I hate it when you're right." And he ran back into the bedroom.

Finding something that fit him was hard enough but something that he liked? Something that wasn't as black as Alec's soul? Impossible. The shirt he was wearing last night was the only spot of color in Alec's closet and it was already wet and dirty from the other night. By the time Alec was calling Magnus in for breakfast, Magnus had to make a split decision on the grayest sweater he could find—the most colored shirt he could find in his closet—and some black jeans, which were slightly large on him and ripped. God, could Alec get anymore emo?

Magnus moved over slightly to get in the frame of the mirror and see if he could pull it off.

Nope.

He still looked abismal.

"Coming!" He forced out, slightly frustrated as he tried to shove his face through the arm hole of the sweater while stuffing his legs into the jeans backward. He stumbled, then tripped on what felt like something slippery—he later realized it was the wipes from the other night—and thankfully fell onto the bed.

"Magnus?" Alec called out, then sighed. He knew Magnus wouldn't like anything enough to wear in his closet. "Magnus, I know it's difficult, but you can choose something, you really shouldn't get fired." What sounded like a muffled shout was his reply.

Curious, Alec got up and dared a peek into his bedroom. When all he could see was a corner of his bed, he shuffled closer slowly, dreading walking in on Magnus undressed.

"Magnus?"

Another muffled reply.

Alec pushed the door open all the way, and covered his laughter quickly by biting his worn out sleeve. However, he still emitted a tiny noise, which stopped Magnus's movements and made him turn towards the door.

"Awec?" The source of his muffledness. "What awe you dowing? Come awnd hewp me!" His mouth seems to have very little room to talk in the tiny confined space of the arm sleeve of his favorite grey sweater.

"Okay, okay," said Alec, his voice strained from keeping inside all his giggles. He knew Magnus would kill him if he saw what he was trying to conceal. Alec walked up to him, pulling at the arm sleeve sticking up from his hair like an overly long turtleneck. Magnus flinched as it went over his hair.

"Okay, got that," Alec muttered to himself, shoving Magnus's face through the actual head hole. Magnus sucked in a deep breath of clean air, getting up so he could figure out what was going on with his jeans. They turned out to be inside out and backwards. Alec had laughed so hard when he saw Magnus like that Magnus had to slap him on the shoulder to stop.

"Okay. Why don't you fix…That, and I'll pack you breakfast to go?" Alec pointed his thumb back to the kitchen, an expression of cute confusion on his face. Magnus wished he could remember to focus on what he was going to do, but Alec suddenly became just too distracting. The crooked, sweet smile, gentle, ocean eyes. God, it was actually like he was sent from heaven. Alec never stopped amazing him with just his looks. Magnus was pretty sure there was no one else in the world who looked as good as Alec, not even European supermodels. The fact that this boy was insecure actually made Magnus more frustrated than his Calculus homework. Trying to get Alec to think well about himself without exposing Magnus's secret love for him was a hard egg to crack.

Suddenly, his beautiful face turned to concern. "Magnus?" He waved his hand in front of Magnus's face.

Magnus blinked.

"Oh! Oh, um, right, wh—what was that again?"

"Do you want your breakfast to go?" Alec said sarcastically slow. Magnus deadpanned.

"Yes, that'll be great," He replied in the same tone, his next objective already forming in his mind; hair and makeup. How he was going to pull it off in time, however, was still a mystery.

"Okay, I need to do my hair and, somehow get this more looking like Kylie Jenner and less looking like Shrek." Magnus gestured to his face, hurrying off to the bathroom. Alec opened his mouth to say that Magnus didn't look like Shrek, but, somehow psychic, Magnus held up his pointer finger behind him as he went to the bathroom. "And don't say I don't look like Shrek!" He slammed the door behind him dramatically. Alec chuckled to himself, going to wrap up his waffles in a paper towel. What wouldn't he honestly do for this man?

"Izzy!"

Magnus had just left for work, leaving Alec alone in his PJ sweats right after calling in sick for work. He was laying straight out on his bed, holding his phone closely to his ear after calling his sister until she picked up.

"Alec? Seriously? You know I'm at work!" Izzy gritted. Alec had a dopey smile on his face, unable to help it.

"Izzy, Magnus and Jem broke up!"

There was silence on the other end for a second. Then some muffled talking and a slamming of what sounded close to a stall door.
Izzy sighed. "Is this the part where you tell me you're happy now? Even though you're never going to do anything about it? And then Magnus is going to find someone new and we'll be having this exact same conversation in the stall bathroom of CVS?"

Alec's smile wiped off his face as he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, at least I have the opportunity now. I least I have a chan—"

"Okay, Alec, I'm gonna be frank with you since I only got like five minutes." Alec snorted. Izzy ignored this, and continued. "You say this every single time. Magnus gets his heartbroken, you frantically call me at my morning shift and say that now you have a chance. But you don't Alec." She said as gently as possible. "I know you, and you just feel better now that they're broken up, because you're thinking now you can somehow win Magnus over and make him like you, or make him ask you out. But news flash, kid."

"I'm literally older—"

"It's not going to happen if you don't do anything. I've been telling you this for years, and I'll tell it to you again. Magnus is just as in love with you, and just as shy to tell you. He's scared of telling you because he thinks you don't like him, either. Except he actually dates people to try and get over it, unlike you, a socially awkward peasant. You just feel safer and better now that Magnus isn't kissing, and touching, and fuckin—"

Alec cleared his throat loudly. "Um, I think I get it,"

"—Somebody else. Make a move, brother. Tell him, for gods sake, it's been years. Take my advice, and I swear, you won't regret it."
Alec blew out an exhale, deflated. "But—"

"Alec, have I ever lied to you?" Izzy cut him off matter of factly.

Alec raked his brain. "Well, no—"

"Then stop making excuses and do it. You guys have been friends forever, and even if he doesn't share your feelings, this doesn't mean your friendship will be ruined. Trust me, I've been with tons of guys that were totally bonkers for me—and told me about it—but we're still friends to this day."

"Really? Who?" Alec asked, losing his train of thought for a second.

"Oh, dear sweet brother, I could give you such a list right now, but we don't have time for that."

Alec groaned, running a hand through his hair nervously. "But what about the fact that he just broke up with Jem? Won't that be kind of rude?"

"Alec, that's perfect. Give it like a month, prepare what you're going to say, how you're going to say it, where, when. And then, just do it. Now, my boss is about to come in and scream at me. So do we have a deal" Alec chewed his lip. This could end so badly.

"Or, you could get everything you've ever wanted since you were fifteen." Izzy said lightly, reading his mind.

"I—you—" Alec cut himself off with a deep breath. He shut his eyes tight. "Fine."

"Yay. Ok. Bye." The line cuts off abruptly, and Alec is drowned in deafening silence and his own suffocating thoughts.

Fuck.

What have I done?

A/N: So. *Giggles* WHat dO yOu thiNk? Ew I'm literally so cringey. But plz drop a review? JUst one? Please? ANytHing? :). What I was trying to say before in my bipolar A/N was that this took so long bc I took so long perfecting it. I swear I only procrastinated it like a few days. This story's already kinda going off track tho, so don't be surprised if the next chap takes longer than a week (ik that's not my thing, and iM sOrRy, I promise I'll get my shit together.) But it'll definitely be before two weeks. :). Anyway, I literally live for you guys sm, I LOVE YOU. M W A H.

Hope you enjoyed. ;). Leave a review. If you didn't enjoy, leave a review.

-Emma, who thinks you should leave a review.