The rain fell in sheets outside the window, the darkness finally enclosing what was left of the evening sun. I could feel the beat of the rolling thunder deep in my chest, and the flashes of lightning shone through my closed eyelids. I could feel it, the anger of the sky. The sounds of the storm melded with the sorrow and confusion deep in my veins, and we were one.
Indeed, I was never one to be jealous. I never did believe in envy. Because whatever I did not possess, someone else did. And I could never live with myself if I took hold of something I did not gain justly. It was the conscience I had. Especially something so beautiful, so lovely, as the lady who had left my presence barely an hour ago. She had spoken so softly, as if to soften the effects of what had pierced me so deeply.
What hurt the most was the knowledge that she could have been mine. She could have been mine so easily... If I had taken the opportunity that had been right before me. But I would forever be the silent one.
The phone in my pocket let out a cheerful melody. I considered letting it ring, but I didn't have the kind of time to be wasted wallowing in my sorrows. Letting go, I knew, would be the right thing, the thing that should be done, but it was so difficult. And I knew it would take longer than my lifetime to forget her smile. It would take forever to forget the way she felt in my arms. It would be an eternity before I forgot the ice in her gaze when she said she was sorry.
"Takashi! Are you coming home? That thunderstorm is getting worse and worse; if you don't make it home now, you'll be out all night!"
"I'll be fine. I won't be back tonight." I hadn't spoken for awhile. My voice sounded hoarser than I had anticipated. I never knew a broken heart had so many physical downfalls.
"T...That's okay, Takashi. We'll see you tomorrow." She knew better than to bother on such things. I had made up my mind. I'd stay here for awhile. The host club room held so many painful memories, and yet it was the only place I felt safe. I couldn't go anywhere else. I would stay.
The pain... I never knew it could be so deep. I had suspected that some hearts were impenetrable, mine included. But every heart has its weakness, I suppose, and they would break you if you fought them. And I had.
I missed her. But I would let go. And I would find out how it feels to fall in love again, someday. But for now, I would forget, and for her sake, I wouldn't fight the weakness anymore. I was already broken. But I wouldn't allow it to affect who I was.
Eventually, I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, there on the host club floor. I had never intended to seem so weak. I was always the strong one, the one who stood when everything went wrong. I suposed that was what being a Morinozuka was about. But I had been broken by her, who I'd promised the world, and I couldn't pick up the pieces.
But I would forget. And I would let go. The spirit of the storm, which had numbed my heart, would help me to accomplish what seemed impossible.
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A/N :: Another fanfiction is done... I might create a sequel for this one so watch out for that :)) Please R&R!!