Connor's POV:

I have been looking forward to this camping trip since it was announced. It was the perfect chance to hang out with Jude without my stupid dad getting in the way. Not being as close to Jude as I used to be really hurts, and every time I think about this whole situation I can't help but feel like I'm simultaneously about to cry, and try to kill my idiot dad.

Turns out, even without him here, he still ruins everything because Jude has been really awkward the entire time. Every time we touch, he clams up and barely speaks for a whole hour. It's my dad's fault, and I'm about at the end of my rope.

"Tonight," I promised myself, "Tonight things will change."

It's the third night of the four night trip, and Jude and I were sitting on opposite sides of the tent, reading comic books. Every couple of seconds my gaze would flick up to survey my best friend as he sat on his sleeping bag, reading a copy of the newest issue of the Walking Dead.

I had insisted that Jude and I share a tent. Jude had warned me, multiple times on the bus on the way to the campgrounds, that it was a bad idea, but I was persistent and eventually he gave in. The first day of the camping trip, we swam or most of the day. The second day, we swam some more, and hiked for a while in the woods. The whole time, Jude acted a little distant with me.

It hurt. A lot. But it was nothing I didn't deserve. It seemed to me like the only thing I'd done since becoming friends with him was fucked stuff up.

"Jude?"

He didn't look up.

"Jude?" I said a little louder.

"What, Connor?" He said, sounding a little testy.

I sighed and got up from my spot and walked over to him, plopping down next to him.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" I asked.

He sighed and finally raise his head from his comic and made eye contact with me.

"No. Not really." He said.

I slid closer, now sitting with our knees touching.

"Am I a bad friend?" I asked meekly.

Jude looked at me like I'd grown an extra head.

"No, Connor. Why would you even ask that? You're a great friend." He assured me, but he still sounded annoyed with me.

I sighed, just barely able to keep the tears at bay.

"I'm sorry, Jude." I said.

He looked at me, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"For what?"

"My dad. How he's been lately." I said bitterly, with a large sprinkling of anger, "You gotta know that if I could change anything, I would. I miss how things used to be. I missing coming over to play games, staying the night. But because my dad saw you pat me on the back at the batting cages, your automatically gay, and I can't hang out with you anymore. I don't care if you're gay, he shouldn't either."

"I don't really know what I am." Jude admitted with a sigh, "I've never thought about it before."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Foster care. Too busy surviving to think about it." He said.

"My dad has no right to try and label you anything." I said, starting to get furious.

"It's okay..." Jude started to say, but I interrupted him.

After months of keeping everything bottle up, and keeping everything

"THE HELL IT IS! I've missed you so much lately, and it's all his fault." I ranted, "If he wasn't such a homophobic jerk, none of this would be a problem. I shouldn't have to sneak around to spend time alone with my best fucking friend!"

"Connor!" Jude hissed, "Keep your voice down."

I ignored him.

"But no... that would be too easy, though." I continued ranting, my voice rising and tears starting to leak down my cheeks, "I can't have something GOOD in my life, no that's too much to ask! Can't hang out with my best friend, or spend the night at his house, because my father is a worthless piece of fucking SHIT AND HAS TO RUIN EVERYTHING!"

I couldn't contain the sobs any more, and Jude pulled me into a hug.

"I-I'm SORRY, J-Jude. I'm s-s-so fucking s-s-sorry." I sobbed, "I c-can't l-lose my b-best friend!"

"Shh. It's okay, Connor." He said, rubbing my back to comfort me, "I'm not mad at you. I know it's not your fault. It's okay. You're not going to lose me."

I had been questioning my sexuality since I caught myself checking another boy out in gym class a year previously. I knew what I was, but I just didn't want to admit it. When Jude and I became friends, my first thought was that he was cute. I had tried desperately to push the thoughts away, because I knew that any possibility of acting on the feelings would end in disaster, again courtesy of my father. It didn't work. Four days ago, in the seclusion of my bathroom at home, I admitted it to myself aloud in the mirror for the first time.

I'm gay.

I have a crush on my best friend.

My dad could never find out about any of this.

In this moment, while hugging Jude, I decided that I didn't care anymore. This felt right. I felt right, and something inside me shifted.

"You know what? The old man wants a battle I'll give him a war. " I thought to myself, "If I want this, then damn it I'm gonna have it."

I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Sorry. I kind of soaked your shirt." I said with a wet chuckle.

"It's fine." Jude said softly.

"No. It's really not." I disagree, "I need to tell you something."

Jude looked at me apprehensible.

"Um. Okay, go ahead."

"Um..." I mumbled, "I know I said that... I wouldn't care if you were gay. And I meant that, but..."

"But what?"

"Would you... care if, um... if I was gay?" I stuttered out, staring at the floor.

"Of course I wouldn't care if you were gay, Connor. I have two moms, and you're my best friend." He said, as if insulted by the notion that he wouldn't be accepting, "You could come in to school wearing a bright neon pink skirt and quoting Wicked and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."

I took a relieved breath.

He wouldn't care, so in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Jude... I am."

I heard an intake of breath, and I looked up to meet Jude's gaze.

He was staring at me with his eyes wide.

"What?" He asked, his face slack with shock.

"I am g-gay, Jude." I confessed, "And... I've know that since before I met you..."

I didn't get any further before he had wrapped me in a hug again. I sighed into his shoulder as I wrapped my own arms around him and squeezed, a small smile on my shoulder.

"Oh my god, Connor." He whispered, "I am so proud of you."

I returned the hug harder, and the dam finally burst.

"My dad, he thinks that if you're gay and hang out with me it'll turn me gay." I sobbed into Jude's shoulder, "But I can't tell him that he's wrong. I can't tell him that I knew I was gay before I met you. I'm afraid he'll... I'm afraid of what he'll do, of what he'll say."

"You're always welcome at my place, you know." He assured me, "Moms would understand."

"Moms usually do... mine did." I said.

"Wait, your mom knows?" He asked with wide eyes.

"She knows I have a crush on somebody who isn't a girl." I revealed, "She told me I could live with her in L.A if it came down to it. If dad finds out and... and can't deal with it."

Jude's eyes lit up.

"Oooooooh, you have a crush?" He leered with a giggle whilst bouncing with excitement, "Who is it?"

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips at the sight of my best friend and crush bouncing in his seat at the prospect of knowing the identity of my crush.

I debated with myself on whether or not to tell him, show him, both, or neither.

I looked into his eyes.

I stared into his eyes.

I never realized how hypnotizing his brown eyes were. They were the same shade as my favorite kind of chocolate.

I decided at that moment that I would show him, and leaned in quickly and with only a moment's hesitation, I pressed my lips to his.

It only lasted for perhaps five seconds before I pulled away.

Jude stared at me, his eyes wide, his mouth agate. He was doing an impression of a goldfish, unable to form a coherent sentence.

He looked shocked, and in his eyes I could see a small amount of fear. It was barely noticeable, but it was still there.

My heart shattered.

"I-I'm s-sorry." I croaked, my tears renewed as I collapsed backwards onto his sleeping bag.

Jude snapped out of it and crawled up to lay next to me. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Never be sorry." He whispered to me, "Do you hear me? Never be sorry."

No more words were said that night as I cried myself to sleep in my best friends arms, while he held me and tried not to let his own tears slip.

Five Hours Later.

I jolted awake, my side aching from laying on the ground all night. I tried to sit up, but I found myself secured to a solid object that didn't want to move.

I looked down to see Jude's arms still wrapped tight around me.

I shook him, and he woke up abruptly.

"Wha? Oh, it's you." He mumbled sleepily.

"Let go, I need to get dressed." I said.

He looked at me confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said and tried to get up.

His hand flashed out and latched around mine.

"Is this about last night?" He asked, "About... the kiss?"

I sighed and nodded.

"You didn't say much afterwards, last night." I said, "I figured... you were upset, or something..."

"Well, it's kind of hard to say anything when we're both busy cuddling and sleeping, Connor." Jude said, nudging my shoulder teasingly.

I laughed quietly.

"You're not mad at me are you?" I asked him softly, "Because, I did kind of spring that on you out of nowhere, and the kiss… well, I should have at least asked. I know you're probably straight, and if I made you uncomfortable…"

"No." He said without a seconds hesitation, "I'm not mad. You didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Are you sure...?" I tried to asked, but I was cut off.

Jude turned his head toward mine and leaned in, pressing his lips to my cheek with a lightning fast peck. I turned my head to stare at him, my eyes wide.

"No, Connor. I'm not mad." Jude said with a soft smile, "I'm happy."

"Wait... does this mean...?" I tried to ask, but stammered.

"Yes, you big dork. It means I like you too." He said, blushing furiously, "I don't know if I'm actually fully gay like you are, but I do know that I have feelings for you that aren't platonic. And I know this won't be easy, with your dad being a giant obstacle. But... you like me, and I like you too. So... why not?"

"But... we couldn't tell anybody." I reminded him, " Except maybe for Stef and Lena. We'd pretty much have to act like we normally do. We couldn't hug, or hold hands, or... kiss. You said before that you didn't want to be anybody's secret."

"I know, but I understand." Jude said, "If your dad found out about this tomorrow, he'd be furious. We'd both be screwed, so for the time being discretion is probably the best policy. I get that, and if you want to then so do I. We'll figure it out. Trust me."

I didn't even really have to think about it.

I thread my fingers through his and smiled at him.

"I'd like that." I said, "Boyfriends?"

"Yeah. Boyfriends."

I smiled, and again, I found myself wrapping him in a hug.

Jude and I. Boyfriends. I could definitely get used to that. Were we scared? Of fucking course we were. We both knew a fight was ahead of us.

We knew it would be a war.

At that moment though, wrapped in each other's embrace, neither of us could bring ourselves to care.

(AN: Leave reviews. Tell me what you think, and prompts are welcome.)