hello, this is my first fanfic, so be as ruthless as possible with telling
me about my story. Hope u like the story.hope u like and dont get bored.
Chapter 1
A voice in the back of my head was warning me of this place, I shouldn't be here. I stopped at the end of the road near the signpost to say what the road was called. I looked at the signpost not really taking in the name, because my mind was else where. I also already knew the name of the road, Flying Gate Road that's what it was called. A weird name, but names like these where everywhere in the place where I went to school. See I'm Lily Evans. I go to Hogwarts School for witches and wizards. My Parents live back in the Muggle world, as they are both Muggles. The voice came back warning me yet again, don't think about your parents, they're better off not knowing how stupid their daughter is. A cold shiver went down my spine not only because of the terrifyingly freezing weather but because I knew that this was not a place I wanted to be on my own. Even with my friends it's not a safe place to be, especially at nighttime. It wasn't night yet but the dark was drifting in, well more then drifting because its winter and it kinda hits you like a cold breeze. The soft wind which was surrounding me a minute ago had now changed into a horrible gale trying to force me on, whispering in my ear that I should not stay. My brain agreed with the wind and I decide to move on but my feet decided to have a mind of their own, it seemed they were stuck to the ground. I started to get panicky it wasn't my feet deciding to have a mind of there own it was the black magic that was being put on them. My usual reddish brown hair was now a deep black, the gale blowing it around so that it surrounded my face blocking my view. My hands I realised where clenched in fists and where very tense, but slowly I managed to pull them up to my face to remove my hair. I did this just in time to see out of the corner of my eye that I was not alone. My feet where not stuck to the ground anymore as I found out when I whirled round to face the person who was now with me and probably the same person who had put the spell on my feet. "What do you want" my own voice surprised me, it was harsh but I knew that it was just to hide the fact that I was very scared. "You know what I want, that's the reason your here" his equally harsh voice said, thought I knew it wasn't hiding anything. "I don't understand" I had decided to play dumb. Ok maybe it wasn't the best idea I've ever come up with but for some reason it seemed the best way to act around this person, who I couldn't see the face of because the hood on his jacket was up. Also he was standing away from the streetlight which had recently come on, and was surrounding me with its light. Which, if I were somewhere else, would have made me feel more comfortable. The hooded guy came near but didn't venture into the light, he stood right where the light from the street light stopped. I had a feeling he was angry. "Don't mess with me girl" He said in a raging voice, telling me that what I thought was true. I know it's not the best move to wind up already angry people, though I was unsure now whether he was a person even though he had the human emotions of harshness and anger, he still felt cold as if he didn't really have any emotions at all. This feeling frightened me more, I kept on thinking if he isn't human then he'll have no guilt after he kills me! "Look you know why I'm here, so just hand it over" He surprised me I wasn't expecting him to talk, he seemed to me like the type of guy who was mysterious and didn't talk unless he had to. My hands which were now in my pockets, but still tightly curled in balls, opens out to feel the object that I had been looking after for many years keeping it away from such hands like this person or creature. I smoothed the object and reluctantly took it out of my pocket. The person or creature's (I still couldn't decide what he was) eyes followed my hand. He had, I noticed, taken a step into the light, I could now see part of his face, it looked human enough, and it wouldn't really have scared me if it wasn't human looking. I'm surrounded in this place with weird looking creatures most of them are fine, but just like humans a few are nasty. I was surprised the part of his face that I could see looked young, he looked almost as young as me! I think that's the reason I made the stupid mistake! I turned and ran, I ran like hell. Usually I have a thing about running, see if you didn't realise, it makes you worn out and it is especially not a good thing if you're running in heels, which I may add I was. I kept on running, though the voice in my head was telling me to stop and just give up and give the person or creature the thing he needed. I could hear the heavy breathing of the person creature behind me, which gave me a shiver down my spine. Because I knew that if this thing caught up with me I would probably end up dead. I'M GONNA DIE, I DON'T WANNA DIE, I started screaming hysterically in my head. I tripped "shit" I swore under my breath, I regained balance again and carried on running. The heavy breathing didn't seem as near now, so I decide to have a look round to see if he was still behind me. Just as I looked round a bright light was shot at my eyes, blinding me. I tripped again but this time completely lost my balance and fell over, everywhere I looked there were purple dots messing up my vision. I rubbed my eyes and started to get up even thought my leg was in pain. Just as I was about to stand up the hooded guy stepped into my line of my vision. I took a sharp in-take of air and my heart started thudding and my mind kept on going SHIT IM GONNA DIE MOVE, MOVE GET AWAY FROM HIM.
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Please review Luv Bettybee
Chapter 1
A voice in the back of my head was warning me of this place, I shouldn't be here. I stopped at the end of the road near the signpost to say what the road was called. I looked at the signpost not really taking in the name, because my mind was else where. I also already knew the name of the road, Flying Gate Road that's what it was called. A weird name, but names like these where everywhere in the place where I went to school. See I'm Lily Evans. I go to Hogwarts School for witches and wizards. My Parents live back in the Muggle world, as they are both Muggles. The voice came back warning me yet again, don't think about your parents, they're better off not knowing how stupid their daughter is. A cold shiver went down my spine not only because of the terrifyingly freezing weather but because I knew that this was not a place I wanted to be on my own. Even with my friends it's not a safe place to be, especially at nighttime. It wasn't night yet but the dark was drifting in, well more then drifting because its winter and it kinda hits you like a cold breeze. The soft wind which was surrounding me a minute ago had now changed into a horrible gale trying to force me on, whispering in my ear that I should not stay. My brain agreed with the wind and I decide to move on but my feet decided to have a mind of their own, it seemed they were stuck to the ground. I started to get panicky it wasn't my feet deciding to have a mind of there own it was the black magic that was being put on them. My usual reddish brown hair was now a deep black, the gale blowing it around so that it surrounded my face blocking my view. My hands I realised where clenched in fists and where very tense, but slowly I managed to pull them up to my face to remove my hair. I did this just in time to see out of the corner of my eye that I was not alone. My feet where not stuck to the ground anymore as I found out when I whirled round to face the person who was now with me and probably the same person who had put the spell on my feet. "What do you want" my own voice surprised me, it was harsh but I knew that it was just to hide the fact that I was very scared. "You know what I want, that's the reason your here" his equally harsh voice said, thought I knew it wasn't hiding anything. "I don't understand" I had decided to play dumb. Ok maybe it wasn't the best idea I've ever come up with but for some reason it seemed the best way to act around this person, who I couldn't see the face of because the hood on his jacket was up. Also he was standing away from the streetlight which had recently come on, and was surrounding me with its light. Which, if I were somewhere else, would have made me feel more comfortable. The hooded guy came near but didn't venture into the light, he stood right where the light from the street light stopped. I had a feeling he was angry. "Don't mess with me girl" He said in a raging voice, telling me that what I thought was true. I know it's not the best move to wind up already angry people, though I was unsure now whether he was a person even though he had the human emotions of harshness and anger, he still felt cold as if he didn't really have any emotions at all. This feeling frightened me more, I kept on thinking if he isn't human then he'll have no guilt after he kills me! "Look you know why I'm here, so just hand it over" He surprised me I wasn't expecting him to talk, he seemed to me like the type of guy who was mysterious and didn't talk unless he had to. My hands which were now in my pockets, but still tightly curled in balls, opens out to feel the object that I had been looking after for many years keeping it away from such hands like this person or creature. I smoothed the object and reluctantly took it out of my pocket. The person or creature's (I still couldn't decide what he was) eyes followed my hand. He had, I noticed, taken a step into the light, I could now see part of his face, it looked human enough, and it wouldn't really have scared me if it wasn't human looking. I'm surrounded in this place with weird looking creatures most of them are fine, but just like humans a few are nasty. I was surprised the part of his face that I could see looked young, he looked almost as young as me! I think that's the reason I made the stupid mistake! I turned and ran, I ran like hell. Usually I have a thing about running, see if you didn't realise, it makes you worn out and it is especially not a good thing if you're running in heels, which I may add I was. I kept on running, though the voice in my head was telling me to stop and just give up and give the person or creature the thing he needed. I could hear the heavy breathing of the person creature behind me, which gave me a shiver down my spine. Because I knew that if this thing caught up with me I would probably end up dead. I'M GONNA DIE, I DON'T WANNA DIE, I started screaming hysterically in my head. I tripped "shit" I swore under my breath, I regained balance again and carried on running. The heavy breathing didn't seem as near now, so I decide to have a look round to see if he was still behind me. Just as I looked round a bright light was shot at my eyes, blinding me. I tripped again but this time completely lost my balance and fell over, everywhere I looked there were purple dots messing up my vision. I rubbed my eyes and started to get up even thought my leg was in pain. Just as I was about to stand up the hooded guy stepped into my line of my vision. I took a sharp in-take of air and my heart started thudding and my mind kept on going SHIT IM GONNA DIE MOVE, MOVE GET AWAY FROM HIM.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Please review Luv Bettybee